“Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.” ~Henry Ward Beecher
Retirement. A word that fills people with both excitement and fear.
On the one hand, we’re excited about the possibilities that retirement brings. The possibility to travel, to try new hobbies, to live our lives the way we want.
On the other hand, we worry about whether we’ll have enough money to survive until that unknown age at which we’ll die. And maybe not just survive but to actually thrive in our later years.
That fear, that endless worry about the future, is what keeps many people stuck in soul-sucking careers. Following the safe path in life, trying to save up money for that day in which they’ll no longer be working. Sacrificing their one precious life in exchange for a sense of security later on.
I understand those fears about the future and retirement. I recently turned forty-nine years old, which means that my retirement is only fifteen years away. Fifteen years may seem like a long time, but I know that those years will pass quickly.
I have some money saved up in retirement accounts and I will also receive a small pension. And hopefully I’ll also receive money from Social Security.
Will that be enough? And how long will that money last? I have no idea.
My retirement years could have been a lot different. Three times in my life I’ve walked away from jobs that paid me lots of money and paid generous retirement benefits. My friends who decided to stay in those jobs will likely have few worries when they retire.
So yes, I gave up a lot of money and a secure retirement. But I also saved my soul in the process. Those jobs I walked away from? They were destroying me.
I hated being stuck in a cubicle. I hated sitting in front of a computer all day long. I hated writing pointless memos. I hated going to meetings to talk about things that I didn’t care about.
My dad spent over twenty years in a job he hated because he had no choice. He had to support his wife and three kids. And I saw firsthand how staying in that job destroyed him. And I vowed a long time ago not to do to myself what he did to himself.
So I did whatever was necessary to get out of those jobs. And then I used some of my savings and took the time to do things that people say they’ll do in retirement:
- I backpacked around the world, visiting over thirty countries and living in several others.
- I volunteered with street children in Mexico and with cancer patients in the Philippines.
- I learned Spanish, starting from point zero to becoming near fluent.
- I lived at a yoga center in Pennsylvania and a meditation center in Wisconsin.
And afterward I started my own business so that I could live life on my terms instead of how others wanted or expected me to live it.
In my opinion, there’s no amount of money that makes staying in a job that you hate worthwhile. Not for me, at least. Not unless I have absolutely no other choice. Life is now, not in some imagined future.
I honestly have no idea what the future holds for me and what my retirement will be like. I may not have much money when that time happens. And the money I do have for retirement may run out quickly.
But over the years I’ve learned to be adaptable. I’ve learned how to do without. I’ve learned how to live simply.
Most importantly I’ve learned that the three most important things in life are connection, community, and contribution. Those are things that can’t be bought with money. And as long as I have those, everything else is negotiable.
So whatever happens in the future, I trust in myself and my ability to adapt. I know that I’ll figure something out.
And I’ll not just survive…I’ll thrive!
- Maybe I’ll join the Peace Corps.
- Maybe I’ll live in a monastery in Thailand and study Buddhism in depth.
- Maybe I’ll teach English in a rural village in Peru in exchange for room and board.
- Heck, maybe I’ll drive a school bus till I’m seventy-five years old like my dad did (and absolutely loved!) after he finally left his soul-sucking job.
I leave you with this message. If you’re in a soul-sucking job, and only staying for the money, then do whatever it takes to get out as soon as you can. Your one precious life isn’t worth wasting.
Yes, you need money to survive. We all do. But there are always far, far better options than sacrificing your life for money.
So if you’re ready to stop worrying about the future and start living your life now, here are my tips for you:
Accept and trust that you’ll find a way to make things work in the future, even if you’re not sure how.
Chances are, you are more intelligent, resourceful, and adaptable than you realize. And that you will find a way to not only survive in the future but also to thrive. That’s what I found out when I started taking more risks in my life.
For example, I used to think that I couldn’t learn a foreign language. But once I put myself in the right situation (intensive lessons in Mexico), I quickly found out that I could learn a foreign language.
I also used to think that I couldn’t adapt to living in a foreign country. My first two attempts ended after three months due to homesickness. But my third attempt was successful and I’ve now lived in Bogota, Colombia, for over five years. I’ve adapted to living here even though I thought I couldn’t.
Start taking a few risks and testing your limits. Just like me, you’ll learn to be more resourceful and adaptable—skills that will both help you in the future and give you more options in life.
Strike a balance between now and the future.
You need money for the future and for retirement. But you also need to live in the now. Aim to strike a balance between those two competing desires. Do everything you can to live your life now while also preparing for the future.
For example, when I go out to eat with my friends, they will often order a glass of wine, an appetizer, a main course, and dessert, spending $50 per person. I, on the other hand, only order a main course and drink water, spending $10-15 dollars. I still get to enjoy a nice meal and the company of my friends (living now) while spending a lot less money (preparing for the future).
Give up the idea that life has to look a particular way.
Lots of people follow the safe path in life because that’s what they see everyone else doing. But there’s no reason why your life has to look like everyone else’s.
By their forties, most of my friends and family had settled down, bought houses, started families, and worked the same jobs for years. On the other hand, when I was in my forties, I quit my job, sold all my possessions, and backpacked through Latin America and Eastern Europe. That’s not what most people do in their forties, but it’s what I wanted to do.
Similarly, I’m sure my retirement will look a lot different than that of my friends and family. But my life isn’t bound by what other people do and neither is yours. Live the life you want to, the life that resonates with your heart—both now and in the future!
Accept that the future is ultimately unknowable.
None of us knows what the future holds. And no matter how much you plan for the future, your future will likely turn out to be very different than you expect. I know that mine has—for example, I never expected to be living in Bogota, Colombia, nor did I expect to own my own business.
There’s nothing wrong with planning for the future, but in the end you can’t control it. So I suggest that you embrace the unknown, go with the flow, and see what unfolds in your life.
In the end, you only get one chance at life. You can wait around for the future, wait around for your retirement to finally start living the life you want. Or you can start taking steps to do that right now and let the future take care of itself when it arrives. The choice is yours.
About Ed Herzog
Ed Herzog is a life coach whose mission is to help people discover an authentic career path – one that allows them to use their talents and passions to make a positive contribution to the world. If you’re searching for an authentic career path, you can start today by downloading his FREE guide: 10 Powerful Questions For Discovering Your Life Purpose.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
Very inspiring. Really struck a chord with me. Currently unemployed and trying to figure out my life purpose. I’ve always felt there’s more to life than the rat race, but just don’t know what I want to be yet (and I’m in my 40s). Thanks for sharing 🙂
I really enjoyed this article. Especially the part where you said no job that you hate is worth having. Life is not about the amount of money that we make or the many cars that we have, it is about finding what makes you happy. It is about finding what will give you the best life.
Looking into the future just causes us to focus on uncertainties instead of changing and impacting our current life. If you truly want to be happy, learn to live in the present moment and accept the many blessings that fills your life.
Great post!
Hi Ed, thanks so much for this great post. After nearly 30 years I finally quit my job last year and went on the road. I had never realised just how much soul had been sucked out of me in that time, and even now nearly 18 months later I’m still finding my way back. I’m slowly rediscovering my passions and, more importantly, the ‘real me’ that got lost along the way. I am learning to live with less and in the moment more, and am enjoying that process greatly, but I get these flashes of panic about how I’ll manage long term without a healthy salary, and without a plan for life beyond the next month or 2. There are days when I find trusting in the universe is easier than others 🙂 and last night I woke up in a cold sweat freaking out that I would never find a way to earn money again!! So reading your post this morning was perfect, it really calmed me down and gave me a real ‘You Got This’ boost 😉 Thanks for the inspiration
Thank you Ed what a fantastic article. I am in my 40s, young at heart though lol, and just want to live and be free and I can be. In September I am going to return to university and for once doing something I want to do. I have to give up a well paid and respected job but your article made me understand it’s not all about money and it can be done with greater and happier outcomes.
All of this completely resonates with me. I could easily drop my soul sucking job and change my life in a heart beat, however I’m a single mom with one daughter in high school. Any advice about how to handle this responsibly? I’ve been laid off two times in the last 2 years from corporate jobs that were sheer torcher to me and my health, and don’t think I can go back.
Absolutely the best read yet on Tiny Buddha , at 63 now , I’ve never had a “real job” , and never wanted one , of course I don’t have all the toys and big bank accounts like my friends who have worked at shitty jobs all their lives , but I have lived a more varied and interesting life , and always had everything I need and more.
Once again Ed , very inspiring , keep up the great work.
Wow, this really resonated with me! “So whatever happens in the future, I trust in myself and my ability to adapt. I know that I’ll figure something out.” I know this has been true for me, and it helps to hear that so well articulated. Thank you for this excellent article!
All these thoughtful articles from Tiny Buddha are always missing one thing…God.
Hi Ed,
Thank you for this incredible post and sharing your experience. Your writing has deeply touched my mother and I. She is in the same age bracket as you and you brought me an enormous amount of comfort and reassurance. I am so happy you followed your true being and calling.
Thanks for this inspiring article. It was not mentioned though if you have your own family. I am marrief with 1 kid, me and my wife have stable jobs that we don’t really hate but for me, i still worry a lot about the future especially security and safety for my family. If I were single, I would done the same things that you did but of course my circumstances are different. How can I adopt this same mindset in my situation as I do have anxiety issues particularly on the future. Thanks.
Thanks Penny! Sorry to hear about your job situation…that must be really difficult. BTW, if you sign-up to my email list, I´ll be running a 7 week life purpose challenge very soon. 🙂
Thanks Michael! I definitely agree. Of course we can´t ignore the future altogether but we also have so little control over it. So best to live our lives now!!!
ditto… Karen… same boat here. no answers… but you are not alone.
I agree, but I can also see where to avoid it. While me and you might believe in God and are comfortable showing our beliefs, others might not feel the same way.
Find something you love to do and try to ease into it while still working , if you are passionate about it and are willing to put everything you’ve got into it , you WILL succeed.
I have always been self employed , and every venture was successful , but I get bored easily and move on to new things.
For instance , I am just now starting an online business selling natural foods that myself and friends harvest from nature , we will be selling to retail health food stores , at fairs and farmers markets , and online.
Minimal outlay , just need a website , and some small equipment for processing , and best of all , much of my time will be spent in nature harvesting the products when in season , it WILL be successful , as usual.
You just gotta go for it.
Wow, thanks a lot JW! Your comment means a lot to me. I never wanted to fall into the “real job” trap but I did for about a decade of my life. Glad I got out and glad that you never fell into it.
I should add that many of my friends who have slaved at shitty jobs all their lives , are now dead , cancer , heart problems , alcoholism , all those wonderful things that come with the stress of those shitty jobs.
Thanks Bilhah! I appreciate your kind words!
Thanks Seari, very much appreciated!
This article touched me, since I’ve been mentally struggling w/ not being where I want to be career-wise, and am attempting to escape from my current unplanned career path. Thank you for sharing, and kudos!
That was me 6 months ago, in a soul sucking hospital job I hated, I quit I was so stressed out I ended up in the hospital ! Blood pressure. Anyway, great article, i really need to learn Spanish. I realized I’ve wasted 6 months in the time I’ve taken off work I could have learned it. I am applying to non medical filed jobs now and I know that money isn’t all its cracked up to be, just spend less, and no prestige of saying I work in such and such place is worth it! Such an inspiring article. I hope I find my place in the working world where I feel I can make a difference and enjoy going to work every day instead of having panic attacks on the freeway!
Nice article and great read, but this wouldn’t apply to me due to taking care of a disabled year older sibling and balancing the care with my Mother who is way old. I go to work which I’m enjoying due to schedule and interactions with staff. I’m just living a routine life. It still nice to read your experiences.
I started crying AT WORK when reading this. I’m stuck in a spot right now where I’m so scared of losing my job and not being able to provide for my kids, that I work every chance I get. I made so many poor career decisions and all I can think about is failing like I have before, numerous times.
I appreciate the article and the insight. I only hope I can find that sense of relief one day before it’s too late.
You don’t have kids, do you? It’s not easy to just drop everything and do what you want to do. I understand what you’re saying but it’s easier said than done. I need my job to support my family. You got to give me more than, “don’t worry, and do what you want to do most in life” You see, in a way, I am your dad… we both need to do what we have to do to live in this world for our family. You wouldn’t be saying these things if you had 3 kids and a wife to support.
I loved this article. It exactly mirrors my own belief, that no job that you hate is worth wasting your life over. But it’s not so easy to live that truth…when the job you hate doesn’t pay enough to save much. I’m currently trying to find ways to support myself without working at a soul-sucking job. I need more free time for creativity and travel, and an 8-5 desk job doesn’t give me that.
In addition, take care of your health. Without good health everything else is meaningless.
Yes, goy, don’t worry about the future. Quit your job today, and nevermind that you’ll soon be homeless. Just worry about the present. Just worry about what feels good, temporarily, in the now. Screw posterity. Give up your life. Give up your future. Give up the future of your culture and civilization. Only feel, do not think. See how enlightened you are, now? Stop having standards. Stop planning. Drink this cool-aid. MMMm, doesn’t that taste good?
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you wrote. My children are adults now and I have started living in the now. The way that I look at it is that I could be killed or die today. So I am going to do what I want with my life.
I was laid off last week and I could dance with happiness, I truly hate this 9 to 5 idea of life .
You are right there is more to life than that
Hi Sean – Obviously everyone´s situation is different and you and your wife have a great responsibility (a child) that I didn´t.
One of my suggestions would be to start laying the groundwork. What can you do today to ensure that you can have the life that you want when your child is older and you have less responsibiity for him/her? You may not be able to make a drastic change right now but you can start making plans for the future.
BTW, I did write a post on this topic a few years ago called “4 Steps To A Meaningful Career While Raising A Family”. You should be able to find it by googling it.
One of things that I said to the woman who inspired that article is “What are you teaching your children about the world of work by staying in a job you don´t like”? That really resonated with her.
Hi Karen- Obviously everyone´s situation is different and you and your wife have a great responsibility (a daughter) that I didn´t.
One of my suggestions would be to start laying the groundwork. What can you do today to ensure that you can have the life that you want when your daughter is older and you have less responsibiity for her? You may not be able to make a drastic change right now but you can start making plans for the future.
BTW, I did write a post on this topic a few years ago called “4 Steps To A Meaningful Career While Raising A Family”. You should be able to find it by googling it.
One of things that I said to the woman who inspired that article is “What are you teaching your children about the world of work by staying in a job you don´t like”? That really resonated with her.
Thanks for your positive input Jennifer! Best wishes on your new path in life!!!
I can definitely relate Paul. I don´t have it all figured out yet. And I still have some of those “cold sweat freaking out” days as well. But I know I´m on the right path and that´s what matters most!
Thanks Justine, much appreciated!
Two things that helped me.
1. Work a job that you like, and be better than anyone else at that job.
2. You do not have to work full time or at a job you hate. It takes homework to figure out what you really want.
Being really good makes it much easier for your employer (s) to give you the freedoms that you want. Example more vacation or personal time, and money
When you know what you want from a job such as salary, distance, vacation time, corporate atmosphere etc. Then you have a work relationship that is positive enabling one to do what they want more often and not lose soul.
I guess #3 would be to plan. Plan what you want from life and meet your goals
For what it’s worth, I had “cold sweat freaking out” days doing the nine-to-five. A lot less now that I’m out. It’s just part of life, and we all need to come to peace with it, and not let those episodes scare us into inaction. No matter what we see and hear in the media or on the web, nothing in life is guaranteed. Not even when you’re on the “right path”. And even if you are, and you’re not happy, you’re not really on the right path anyway.
Diane and Michael – I actually think there’s a strong connection. Speaking for myself, my own faith in God has enabled me to largely let go of the quest for security. It’s actually a life-changing revelation. If true security can only come from above, making it an all-encompassing pursuit in our own strength is a waste of time, and gets in the way of finding your true purpose. As the saying goes, “Let go, and let God.” We don’t throw caution to the wind, but we don’t let security be our master either. It’s a real transition because it’s virtually counter-cultural. Especially today, when we’re brainwashed with the illusion that we can control everything. We can’t but we can waste precious time trying. I wish I learned this sooner in life, but propaganda is more powerful than we realize. And very subtle as well.
Maybe you can do what you want after the kids are grown. That is what I am doing now. It is my life to live from here on out and I sure plan to do so.
God is hope. Hope that what you need will come your way. God is important.
Sadly too many people want to live without hope and a promise that things will get better.
Life is not about happiness. It is about devotion, dedication, honor, and sacrifice. Happiness will come as a result of these things–as the result of having a purpose–as the result of your life having meaning. If you put happiness first, you’re putting yourself first, which puts you at odds with everyone else in the world and will, in most cases, ultimately lead to the alienation of those you love and to your own isolation and incurable unhappiness, which you will spend a lifetime tying to combat with any number of sedatives: from drugs, to sex, to fleeting romances, to alcohol, or to fanciful notions of an easily earned, blissful afterlife (ironically in the future), where everything is good just because you want it to be. This worship of “happiness” is poison, and has caused untold harm in this world, already. Unfortunately, I reckon that it has much harm to cause, still. Regardless, I escaped the venomous maw of this world-view. You can too. You just have to will it.
Amen! No matter how hard times can be or how good they can be, I put all of my trust in God. I know that He gave me the strength to overcome and that He has a bigger plan for me.
Like any idea of future promise proof that it actually exists is not really important. It is your desire to move in that direction of hope and future promise. That is what makes the difference not that the idea is real or imagined.
Such that when a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it really fall or make noise? Scientists are now claiming that no it does not unless it is witnessed.
Sorry that you misunderstood the article. As you might see, one of tips is “strike a balance between now and the future”. It’s not about living just for now or living for the future. It’s about finding a balance between the two that works for you.
For some people, perhaps most people, getting married and raising kids IS the life that they want to live, and working is a welcome sacrifice towards that end. Most of us prefer to provide a great (start to) life for our kids than only for ourselves.
I agree that’s hard. I was lucky that I had jobs that paid me lots of money which made it easy to save up money. If you’re not in that situation that your path to freedom will likely be longer. But I would still urge you to start taking steps today to make that possible. Don’t wait.
It’s missing from these articles because there is no proof that a god exists. If you have proof please provide it to us and collect your Noble Prize.
Definitely agree Kevin!
Hi Alex – Sorry to hear that you’re in that spot. Obviously having kids can make things more difficult. Your path to freedom may be longer but I do hope you start taking whatever steps are necessary today to make that possible.
Awesone post man! You are absolutely right!!