Hi Megan,

Is there a chance he will cool down after some space and time and realize he overreacted?

Yes, of course there is a chance of that happening.  And I wouldn’t doubt if he does reach out to you.  Also, saying he overreacted minimizes his feelings about what happened and doesn’t build a bridge, but tears it down.

Can I get him back?

Do you want to get him back?  I think the relationship that you have with him is a glimpse into what your future will be if you continue the relationship, unless you both work on a) communication and b) trust.  Trust is the foundation of any good relationship.  He admits to having trust issues.  He called you a lying bitch.  You texted someone innocently and you even talked openly about it with your boyfriend. If you stay with your boyfriend and get married, in 10 years, if you are texting another guy about where your kid’s baseball game is and what time, is he going to flip out and bring up this and any other offense?  I would consider this very carefully.  Because this is one (big) problem after you’ve been together a year.  The longer you are together, the more issues come up.  And it’s not the issues necessarily – it’s how the two of you communicate and handle the problems together.

You say you realize it was wrong to text another man.  Is this truly how you feel? Because earlier you defended yourself to your bf and told him you did nothing wrong.  But it bothered your boyfriend, and so now you are saying that it was wrong to text the guy.

Your boyfriend felt you were leading the other guy on.  Is that true?

You say you really want to work this out.  If this is how you feel, call your boyfriend and talk to him.  Acknowledge his feelings about what happened.  Explain how you felt when he was accusing you of things that you don’t believe happened (leading on the other guy and asking for it).  Tell him you want to work this out.  See if he feels the same and if he is willing to work on his trust issues and the two of you work on communicating better together.

Airene