Hey Nate,

You have the answer in front of you. You said you are looking for a relationship that would compare to your last one. That’s not the way to do it. What you had with her will be something that you will always remember and you’ll look back at it one day and smile and learn from it. My advise to you is when you are looking for another relationship you should be looking for a whole new chapter in your life. Someone different, someone better, someone that will treat you right. Don’t ever compare someone that hurt you with your next girlfriend cause if you find that girl then she’s just going to hurt you like the last one. Believe me when I say that you will find miss right. She could be in your life right now and you don’t even realise it.

Hope this helped!

Dear Nate:

You wrote: “she had decided it was best for her to leave and separate ways (we had been quarreling for months, but nothing overly unpleasant at least I thought)”

I suppose it was significantly unpleasant for her. If you think understanding those quarrels may benefit you in your aim to move on, please elaborate on those: what were the quarrels about and how were conflicts resolved, (if any were resolved, that is)?

anita

Dear Nate:

The two of you dated for five years, lived together for months or years, correct? The got engaged and she terminated the relationship. You wrote that you gained weight and “was a slob, not picking up after” your self and not taking care of yourself.

Was that the way you were throughout dating her, and/ or throughout living with her, or did it came to be sometime after. If so, I wonder what brought this change about, and why it is that you had lost weight and taken care of yourself after the termination of the relationship, not before?

It is possible and I have no evidence to suggest it is more than a mere possibility, one among other possibilities, that the relationship itself did not serve you well.

I hope to read from you again.

anita