“Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough.” -Robert Heller
A while back, a friend of mine called me crying because of a huge disappointment in her life. She made a bold decision based on gut instinct, and then expected that everything would work out as she envisioned it because she felt so certain it was the right choice.
I think what hurt her most of all was the realization that nothing is certain. Following your instincts to leave something doesn’t guarantee it will be easy to find something else. And knowing that something feels right doesn’t ensure you’ll immediately know the right way to make it happen.
Our instincts point us in the right direction, but we need know before we take that first step that very few paths are clear and direct. The hardest thing isn’t taking the leap—it’s learning to relax in the free fall when you’re not sure yet where you’re going to land or how.
I have been in this place many times before.
I’ve walked out of offices, feeling empowered with my decision to quit—only to later to find myself wondering if I should have followed my father’s advice to “never leave one job without another lined up.”
I’ve walked away from unhealthy relationships feeling proud of my ability to let go—only to find myself obsessing about whether it was a choice to be permanently alone.
And I’ve decided to get help to change bad habits—only to find myself feeling unsure of how I’d function without them.
That instinctive decision to walk away from something, or toward something, or through something—it’s only the very beginning.
But if we’re brave enough to listen to it and take action, we’re also brave enough to handle the uncertainty ahead. If we have the strength to make that choice, we have the strength to keep honoring it when things get tough, as they often do.
Today if you’re walking through unfamiliar territory, wondering if you made the right choice, ask yourself: Would you question your decision if things all worked out right away? If the answer is no, then keep learning, keep growing, and keep going.
You know you want this. Now you just need to be patient enough to let yourself discover how you’ll do it.
Photo by geishaboy500
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Lori,
Thanks for your insight….your a highly evolved human being!!
Thank you! I just put in my two weeks notice at a job I’ve been at for five years, up don’t have another job lined up and this is my last weekend! I don’t know for certain how things are going to work out but I did trust my repeated instinct that that job was for certain no longer where I was supposed to be. When I opened this email in my inbox this morning and read it, I gave a prayer of thanks. Thank you, it’s exactly what I needed to hear.
“Would you question your decision if things all worked out right away? If the answer is no, then keep learning, keep growing, and keep going.”
That really helped me – I always doubt my instincts and analyze things to death. I recently made a very bold decision to leave my husband. Of course, things never work out right away in situations like this and I’ve often questioned my decision. But framing it this way reinforced my belief that my instincts were right. This is the road I’m meant to be on, even if it feels equally awful.
Thank you for another beautiful, insightful post.
The decision to stop drinking was something I ‘knew’ I had to do, but actually making the commitment and starting a sober life was, as you put it, a challenge to be “brave enough to handle the uncertainty ahead” – that is the key acceptance.
Tiny Buddha is a steady influence during my recovery. Thank you for sharing.
The following prayer is something that really helps me with challenges following decisions on gut feeling or any challenge for that matter.
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Patience for the things that take time,
Appreciation for all that we have,
Tolerance for those with different struggles,
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways,
The ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other,
And the strength to get up and try again even when we feel its hopeless.
Amen
Congratulations! It takes a lot of strength and courage to do that! Read the prayer that I just put at top.
Keep it one day at a time!
i also just quit my job after 5 years. its a very scary and uncertain path, but i don’t question it. i know its the right path. i know whether i struggle or not i will learn something and emerge being more grateful than ever. thank you for this post 🙂
How strange the way of the world. I too made a decision today to leave my job after 5 years. That seems to be the magic number today! I’ve been struggling with this decision for over a year, but it’s amazing how things all fall into place when you open your heart to change.
The beauty of taking a leap of faith in life is that even though you never know what will happen, you ALWAYS know that you’ll get something special out of it. You will learn, grow and be shaped into a new person in ways that you never expected. In fact, it’s very hard to learn to look back from time to time and remember how far you have come!
Gut or not, its never the wrong choice to leave an unhealthy relationship, even if that means you are alone.
The little voice inside you knows
what is best for you. It will always guide you. But just like any other skill
where you become perfect with practice; you need to train your instincts, you
need to listen carefully and more often to the little voice. It can point you
in the right direction, it can show you the way but you need to have the
courage to walk the path even if it means walking alone
Great insight…and such a wonderful perspective on the realities that life isn’t necessarily going to be easy when following your gut, but the challenges do indeed breed growth.
I quit a secure job several years ago with nothing lined up to pursue a career in the arts. The week after I quit my car got totaled draining my savings. But I worked through that challenge amongst many others to truly grow as a person in ways I could not have had I stuck it out on the safe route.
Even though I’ve since moved away from that career, I don’t regret
You’re most welcome. Congrats on your new adventure. =)
Congrats to you as well Lulu! It’s like that quote, “Leap and the net will appear.”
Completely agreed. I know for me, though, I actually thought it might be the wrong choice because in those times, I was as unhealthy as my relationships. My fear was always a lot louder than my gut!
You’re so right–it’s these risks (and the associated difficulties) that stretch and shape us. I’ve always been like a moth to uncertainty. There’s something liberating about knowing that anything is possible.
You’re most welcome! And thank you. I have my moments. =)
You’re most welcome. I’m glad this came at a good time for you!
You’re most welcome. I know how hard it is to change toxic behaviors. I’m so glad Tiny Buddha has been helpful to you in your recovery!
You’re most welcome Cara. I can imagine that was one of the most difficult decisions you’ve ever made. I’ve seen a lot of people stay in unhappy marriages, which is unfair to both people involved. I really admire that you found the strength to walk away.
I recently made a HUGE decision to uproot my life from the west coast and move across the country to start a new business, to have this great new idealic life, so on so on so on – well none of that is working out the way I had envisioned before arriving. I’m now dealing with the cursed ‘why’s’, ‘did I make a mistake’, ‘were those people who were against the idea, right?’. I just want to say thank you for this post, it was EXACTLY what I needed to see/read today – it is giving me the courage and support that I so needed in this moment. “If things all worked out right away, Would you question your decision?” is a powerful question. Thank you.
You’re most welcome. =) I’ve moved across the country and back twice, so I know all about that uncertainty. I’m glad this was helpful to you!
when you make a leap based on instinct, you will do some stumbling, precisely because your life is changing and you need to get your bearings! often times, we don’t even realize all the questions, or all the possibilities, that we will encounter, until we make the change! I think that’s so beautiful, and so empowering! you can think something to death, but until you try it, really experience it, you just won’t know! thanks for a great post Lori!
Barbara
Some of the comments left have been very inspiring. I am in a similar situation. I really want to change careers and I’m chomping at the bit and a lot of is financial. I can try to transition in one year but it is really risky, however, I honestly cannot see myself in my current position for another year! The thought of it feels awful! From the analytical, logical view it make sense of me to stay at my job another year but I miss my home (my job is very far from home) and I already spend all my time planning, thinking about my future career because it is a passion. I feel so torn whether to take the risk or play it safe! I know if things went right I would not doubt my decision to change careers but I am scared….what do you do when fear overwhelms you???
Hi Erin,
I absolutely know that feeling. What helps me is to ask myself, “What fear is greater?” So in your case, are more scared of taking the risk and struggling financially, or not taking the risk and staying far from home, in a position you don’t love? No matter what you choose, it involves uncertainty–so the question is which uncertainty would you rather: the uncertainty of whether or not you can be successful, or the uncertainty of whether or not you will enjoy your days?
I hope this helps!
Lori
And again…. right when I needed it. Love subscribing to this and having an uplifting post to read every day <3
I’m glad this was helpful to you =)
thanks lori! it does help. I don’t have to make an immediate decision so i’m going to let things simmer for now because I’m not sure which fear is greater at this point. bot fears are great and the it’s all compounded by my feeling of impatience of wanting things to be exactly the way i want to them to RIGHT NOW! but reading your response did clarify what exactly my fears are. I don’t even think I could have articulated it so simply to myself because I was too busy freaking out! haha! anyway, thank you for taking the time to help!
Thanks, this is helpful in times of catching myself between keeping and letting go.
You are most welcome!
I needed this. I am about to jump into something that my parents and family would not approve of.