Dear AprilAngel:

It is a shame that your partner’s parents and family are so… uninvolved with their own four grandchildren, not to mention them not acknowledging and not respecting the mother of their four grandchildren. This very fact is indicative to … what would be the correct words… heartless nature, their heartlessness.

It is also a shame that your partner takes their side and is not standing by you, his family of choice: partner and four children.

I wish you and him didn’t argue, especially not in front of the children. Children suffer so much when watching their parents argue or otherwise show aggression toward each other. Children are damaged by aggression at home, be it verbal or otherwise.

Do you have plans for the future, from having more children or not, to moving elsewhere with your partner, away from his parents… attend couple counseling, anything?

anita

Dear AprilAngel:

No solution can be perfect or even close. Got to choose the best in what is available to you. You have a responsibility to your four children. Their well-being, their best interest, should be the highest priority by far.

But notice this: the well being of a child’s mother is the best interest of a child. It damages children to observe their mother unwell, distressed, anxious, depressed and so on.

Because the loyalty of your partner is with his parents who disapprove of you and of your children, you don’t owe him your loyalty. It will be okay, I believe, for you to no longer live with him. If there are arguments in the home, it is better that the two of you do not live together.

anita

You are welcome, AprilAngel. Thank you for your expressed appreciation. Anytime.

anita