I fell for an “unavailable” man even though I do not want a relationship with him. He is gorgeous but his personality is sneaky and untrustworthy. He hides under the facade of an innocent, perfect family man when I know he has manipulated many women. I thought I was smarter, I turned him down and said just friends, nothing more. Nothing ever happened between us physically but just being friends has been a painful roller coaster. He showered me with compliments and told me how much he wanted me and thought about me. I said he was cute, but I did not express too much because I did not want to be vulnerable to him. He called me all the time, but I was not allowed to contact him in any way. My guess is he has been caught multiple times and was left with this option. Then I did not hear from him for over a week. I was worried about if he was okay, or if he was mad at me or something, but I had no way of contacting him.

When he finally did contact me I told him things needed to change. He needed to call me less and stop the way he was talking to me. I said some choice words about how he wanted me to be available to talk but when I need something I have no way of contacting him. I told him the way he was living his life was sad and why didn’t he have any plans for the future to better himself. I feel horrible. It’s his life and his decisions. I do not want to date this man, I guess I just assumed we would be actual friends at some point? I’m not even sure why I would want that because it’s not a healthy dynamic. He would be cool for a while, then tell me his feelings were too much, I would feel bad for him and we would be back to normal. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, if I just want the attention or don’t want to be rejected by this man. I guess I felt special but I am most definitely not if there have been so many others. I am so confused about why he is still around knowing nothing will happen between us. Oh and we were coworkers, but now we live several hours away because I moved for a new job.