Dear Julia:

You brought up different issues here. One glaring problem, for me, is that your husband’s employer is on the board, and that may present a conflict-of-interest and possible complications. For that reason alone, it may be a good idea for you to withdraw from this board.

The advice that you talk less and listen more, therefore, to other members, is a good idea, not only at the board but anywhere else.

Third issue: if your agenda being on the board is very different than others, it is like driving a car with a few drivers, you turn the driving wheel east, another member- west and yet another backward. The result- a mess, no… forward movement and maybe an accident. If there is no common goal that is more powerful in execution than individual agendas, the board is ineffective, useless. If that is the case, it is  another reason to withdraw from it.

anita

Dear Julia:

You are welcome. You wrote above: “Now I am finding that I also have to work on myself within this group sitting silent… When i feel or think something im very impulsive”-

This group setting, the board of directors, can be an opportunity for you to practice patience and thorough thinking before speaking, that is, not speaking impulsively. I wonder when/ why this habit of speaking impulsively started (is it a fear of not being heard? Of having to voice your thoughts because you may not have the opportunity later?)

anita