Dear Poppyxo:

I looked at the last thread you started. You wrote there, January 2017, about your fear of being alone. But that is not the only fear you mentioned there. You wrote: “fear of being alone, not being my authentic self, fear of not fitting in, … fear of rejection.”

I noticed that as you replied to others’ threads, you were careful, at times, to not read others’ responses so to be able to form your authentic responses.

There is a fear of being alone and there is also the fear of the price you paid in the past to not be alone. That price was to be inauthentic, that is not being true to yourself.

I hope this answers your question above (let me know): when you are confident enough in your ability to continue to be authentic, true to yourself (no longer paying the price of inauthenticity, of accommodating the other at a detriment to yourself), then you are ready for a new relationship.

anita

Best thing I can give you as advice is, embrace your loneliness! Get comfortable in your company. I feel very lonely at times, I’ve Ben single 13 years, I have friends and children. Though I share a lot of my life with them, I can’t share certain things like I’d be able with a man in my life. I’ve come to except over the years that though being lonely sucks, it’s better to be on my own, then with someone who isn’t right just doe the sake of having someone. My escape from it is reading, it keeps my mind busy and stops me from feeling sorry for myself when the loneliness kicks in. You’ll find your thing to help manage it. But it’s in you, not anyone else. Hope this helps x

Caroline.