Home→Forums→Tough Times→I feel like my life is over
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Josh.
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January 5, 2017 at 3:29 pm #124644
AnonymousGuestDear elle198678:
How sad, a love story between you and your dog cut short. It is very common for dog owners to feel responsible for the death of their dog, because the dog is so innocent and dependent, like a small child. As well as unconditionally loving, like a young child.
You wrote that “she was always trying to get out the door”- it would have taken unfailing attentiveness every single time the door was opened, to prevent her getting out. Someone was to close her in a room or place a leash on her when the door was to be opened. Every time.
I wish you didn’t hate yourself. You lost your dog and your heart is broken. Be kind and gentle to yourself at this difficult time, please.
anita
January 6, 2017 at 9:52 pm #124742
SaraParticipantI’m so sorry you lost your dog. It is really normal to find a million ways to blame yourself. I really get it. My dog, my bunny, and two of my horses all suddenly passed away this past year from events described by friends, family, and veterinarians as “freak accidents”. I feel cursed. The thing is with your dog, in order to love your dog and support her in a way that honored the very special individual she was, you had to let her be HER. Not going to work, going on lockdown every time the door opened, not having guests over… all of that would have created an atmosphere of panic, control, and hostility. That is not how you show love. I’m sorry loving her with all of your heart couldn’t go on forever. But hating yourself for not being her jail warden… it won’t bring her back and it would have destroyed the joy you shared.
I’ve had plenty of practice hating myself for not preventing the bizarre and tragic circumstances that led to my pets dying in four separate tragic incidents this year. Hours upon hours of “How did I not see this coming?” have delivered the same answer I will give you: The only way to have prevented these tragedies would have involved stifling their quality of life, never letting them be the beautiful animals they were created to be, and destroying their hearts.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You can give the best care in the world, build a custom barn with every detail carefully attended to, buy the very best food, love them with everything you have… and you still lose everything. Please hold on to the best memories of her and honor the joy she gave you by making the world know it’s a better place because she was here.
January 7, 2017 at 6:14 am #124749
InkyParticipantHi Elle,
I’ve been there, many times, but only with cats.
The final straw was when our indoor cat, like your dog, slipped out the door when a visitor opened it. He was always, like your dog, desperate to go out. And we in the past, very occasionally, and only in amazing weather, would go out in the garden with him. Well, the one time he slipped out on his own, THE ONE TIME ~~ he got eaten by coywolves (a new hybrid of coyote and wolf whose populations are exploding in the suburbs). I knew it was them because I’ve had sightings, and … I found the tail while looking for him.
My family is bugging me to get a dog or another cat. I can’t. I won’t. I’m not going through that again. With every death it feels like it’s my fault. Nope. Not happening. No more animals. It’s cruel to keep them in. It’s cruel to let them out.
Take comfort that many pet owners ~ more than you know ~ are going through this.
Blessings,
Inky
January 12, 2017 at 1:03 pm #125124
JoshParticipantelle, this is a really unfortunate situation to be in. i can see why you would feel responsible. i personally have never cried mroe than when i lost a pet. be kind to yourself <3
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