Hi melgie,

Happy New Year!

When great things are expected of us, the shadow side of that thought is “Aren’t I already good enough?” On the flip side you have children who no one expects anything of but they have the same Prove Myself anxiety.

A wise though lazy phrase someone said to me once was, “You don’t HAVE to do anything”. It was very freeing. You don’t HAVE to do great things. You don’t HAVE to entertain people. You don’t HAVE to win people’s love (Is it really love if you have to win it?).

Now we boil it down to what do you WANT to do? Not what you THINK you want to do. But what would you do if you were in heaven or in a perfect environment?

Go do that.

Blessings,

Inky

Sounds like something I can relate to only too well. 1 thing that helped me was writing to myself. Conversing in a way. Tapping into who I was/am and working out my aspects. Starting with your nature. But it’s more than hard when around younger people who have yet to learn the importance of what we say and do and how it affects others. So you’re in a difficult spot. But trust me when I say this, I speak from personal experience: feel the fear and do it anyway. That’s a title from a book I’ve read that helped me greatly with dealing with my fear of being myself around other people. We won’t get along with everybody. But of your nature is true, you will get along with yourself, and that matters. And when you do meet people who can connect on your level and understand you then it gets amplified in more ways. It’s hard, but it will get easier. You have to want and also look at the broader picture in this life. If possible seek local places/venues where people get together socially and just chuck yourself in and see what’s going on. Observe and just be quiet until you understand the people. It’s just a suggestion. But something I like to do myself. Part of feeling comfortable around people is when you’ve gained a bit more insight into them. Granted you need to do this with yourself first. So I’m probably jumping ahead a bit. But please take small steps. Record your progress and feel good for not letting the fear hold you back from developing and being yourself. But we all grow. Choose to accept this and continue moving forward, if you want to