Dear Kristin123:

I vote for the Human Resource job because it involves “zero stress.” Absolutely.

anita

Hi again, Kristin123, welcome back!

If you had left a job because of stress, then that means that you don’t do well with stress.

The other factor is how much you need or want the money. Forty minutes in the car is quite the commute, and you will spend more on gas and maintenance. With the high stress job at least you would be home before you know it!

If it was me, I would take the low stress job. But that is me.

Best,

Inky

Dear Kristin123:

Congratulations for making the correct choice for you and for your family.

Notice this: when you were young “everyone said how smart I was and I was going to be a doctor some day.” The “going to be a doctor some day” communicates to the child: you are not special now, but you will be IF you will earn social prestige and high income,

What if everyone said: you are smart. You make good choices for yourself. If they said that, you wouldn’t be second doubting yourself now.

If you were still teaching or if you were a doctor during the first long shifts very stressful years or residence and such, you could be terribly distressed at this point. This is why Medical doctors take and get addicted to drugs they find in the hospitals where they work, to keep themselves awake. And how many relationships do not survive that high stress job… and drug addiction or other methods doctors use to survive the high, high stress job?

To choose and live wisely, we have to unlearn many (not all) social conventions, particularly those so heavily promoted in the media and marketing: social prestige and financial wealth being all that matters. This is simply not true.

anita

Dear Kristin123:

If life was simple and all we had to do was to learn new things. Life is complicated and difficult because there is so much we have to UNLEARN. Unlearning is way more difficult than learning. But it is necessary for well being.

anita

Dear Kristin123:

Tips on how to unlearn things:

1. Expect it to be a long, gradual, none linear process: moving backward and forward, then backward and sideways and not moving at all, along the general move forward.

2. Be gentle with yourself as you move backward or not move at all- there is no way it can possibly be an always-forward process, and it cannot be instantaneous.

3. Stay away from interactions with people who, in those interactions, promote the social convention or otherwise thinking or belief that you want to unlearn; similar to not watching TV anymore so to avoid the ads.

4. Self talk: when you notice a thought carrying on the message you want to unlearn (a message that is not true to reality), tell yourself the message you want to learn (the message that is true to reality).

5. Pay attention to the people around you- examine how the messages you want to unlearn are indeed incongruent with reality and indeed are harming the people, causing them anxiety, distress and dysfunction.

anita

You are welcome, Kristin123. Anytime.
anita

See above