Dear hanidashhan:

As to your question: “What should I do to fix everything?”

You can’t fix everything and it is not your job to fix everything…because you didn’t break everything.

Your ex boyfriend chose to end his relationship with you, start a relationship with another woman, then continue an intimate relationship with you. These are his choices. Your previous best friend chose to contact his girlfriend and tell her about the going ons, this is her choice.

Your choice is to be intimate with your ex boyfriend while he had a new girlfriend oversees. You are only responsible for your choice. You are only responsible for your behavior, not for the others.

So tell the boyfriend that it was a mistake for the two of you to be intimate when he had another girlfriend (notice a mistake on the part of the TWO of you). If you know his girlfriend, you can apologize to her about your part in the intimacy (don’t apologize for his part, you didn’t force him). And regarding your former best friend, I don’t think she is your best friend anymore. She should have told you her feelings about you and the ex, not the girlfriend. She should have told you that she is thinking of telling the girlfriend before telling her.

anita

Hi hanidashan,

When your ex BF hung out with you, what did he exactly think would happen? That he would have his cake and eat it too?

You are way too nice.

1. For hanging out with him after he dumped you.
2. For carrying your friend’s guilt
3. And oh by the way what your friend did was not “wrong” IMO.

You need to get your self esteem back. Not seeing him would be a good start.

The next time an ex BF wants to hang out like old times, a very good line would be: “Are you kidding me?”

Best,

Inky