Hi lorrainy,

Not to be a cynic, but some of your grief is because technically he broke up with you. Hey, I was the same way. I truly thought my BF was more attached to me than I to him. In my secret fantasies of the romantic future he was never in them.

But then when he broke up (technically) with me, I was the one devastated.

You asked a loaded question. He answered honestly.

Be careful, because they always come back. This bears repeating. They ALWAYS come back.

You will be tempted to “prove” a connection exists. What will you do, how will you respond when he contacts you to see how you “are”?

Best,

Inky

I understand what you are going through. It took me 4 weeks to be able to talk things out with the man I recently broke up with and it still hurts. I know what Inky is trying to state when saying “He was the one who broke up with you”. It’s kind of how I felt when I broke it off with my guy. He wasn’t willing to try or fight for me so it felt like a rejection from him.

The fact that he was crying too when you parted ways, shows a significant amount of caring and respect of you. At least I think so. He wouldn’t be showing his vulnerability like that if he truly didn’t care. So at least you can take comfort in that. Just try to keep on going…Go find a group activist you can join where you will make new connections. I’m not suggesting go find a another partner now, just go meet new people and different social circles. It will help take your mind of the pain or at lease work through it. You never know where it will lead. You may meet someone else and realize this guy was what lead you to a new beginning or it may take you back to giving it another shot with him.

This seems cheesy but the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” can be true, especially if it were meant to be. For now, get out there and create. Create some new experiences and new connections and continue finding new ways to grow.