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Anonymous.
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August 16, 2016 at 2:07 pm #112515
TraceyParticipantHello. I feel like i’m in a glass box, looking out at the world and the people around me, i watch them living their lives, i live it with them but i somehow feel distant from it all, like i’m not really there.
I really don’t know how to move out of this box even though intuition tells me the door is not locked.
I have read self help books and quotes, kept notes on my thoughts, have even kicked my ass and done new things like making my daughter clothes and stuff and did well, i bake, i sew, i garden ect ect ect but i find no enjoyment in any of it, i feel flat and lifeless.
yes my past has been bad, who’s hasn’t and i accept it for what it was.
I feel like a bored spectator at a show. I could do with some advice, i don’t know where i am, why i’m there or even how to walk out that door and start feeling alive, this is not really a new thing for me, it’s always been there, i used to self-harm just so i could prove to myself i was alive, i don’t do that now i made a promise to the Goddess that if i were granted the gift of a child the Drs said i’d probably never have i would stop and i have but i still don’t feel like i’m really here.
Please HelpAugust 16, 2016 at 2:53 pm #112520
AnonymousInactiveHi Indie
I can relate to this . I feel like an observer in the world . I can be in a room full of people and feel totally disconnected from it . My past has been bad too. Lots of trauma and heartache . I am glad you don’t self harm & have been blessed with a daughter how wonderful :).
I am wondering if to make you feel more alive you could do something that either involves meeting new people , something physical or totally different?
Also I am wondering if you are depressed , I have never been formally diagnosed but I certainly suffer depression and it really takes the shine out of life .
Kat
August 16, 2016 at 7:32 pm #112542
Jet GaribayParticipantOne word: CREATE
You ARE the Goddess too remember.
You feel like a spectator so do the opposite. Your spirit is ready, thats why you feel this way.
Action is called for. Do something that makes your heart sing, and do it again and again. Practice makes perfect.
And journal your efforts so ten years from now you can write an even better self help book.
I will read it and know your success!
Author’s Thanks: To Jet61 who told me ten years ago CREATE!
BLESSED BE
August 16, 2016 at 8:17 pm #112550AnonymousGuestDear indie:
Like I have been, you are dissociated. Other terms: depersonalization. If you haven’t so far, you can google these terms. It is the brain shutting down best it can because it was overwhelmed with fear and hurt. Psychotherapy with a competent, empathetic therapist is the way to deal with this, to re-integrate the emotions that are now disintegrated/ dissociated.
When the brain shut down, it … locked away most of your fear and hurt, removing those from your awareness, but in so doing, the other emotions are locked away too. Re-integrating your emotions into your awareness in the context of competent therapy will move you from observant to a participant in life.
anita
August 17, 2016 at 4:51 am #112640
InkyParticipantHi indie,
Try yoga and Reiki. Walk barefoot outside. Talk to a counsellor. Anything to bring you back into your body and start to feel. Get a physical if you haven’t had one this year, sometimes something could be off.
I agree that your brain has numbed itself as a defensive mechanism. Google “tapping”, some people have had great success with it.
Blessings,
Inky
August 19, 2016 at 1:14 pm #112866TraceyParticipantThank you for your help, after much help from the blogs and quotes on this site, which led to much deep inner thinking, i think i may have discovered my own answer to my problem.
All my life i have been told negative things about life, people and myself and have been badly emotionally manipulated as well
My Dad and myself are from the type of non-smiley people and have been plagued by others asking “whats up?” or cheer up, it might not happen ect, also i found it hard to accept praise and gifts which led to people asking if i were disappointed or upset. i believe i have grown to believe that my own feelings and responses are inadequate, so ive withdrawn them completely.
in the past my showy little mask was enough but i have a dad and a lovely husband who can see straight through it, my husband wants me to be me the real me, he says ive been through enough and its time for the real me to stop hiding.
so i have been trying to find me but until i came across this site i never realised how hard and difficult facing your inner truths could be.
I’d like to really thank this site, after years of trying to find myself i think im getting really close, not that its going to be easy because the problems we have are littered with truths that most of us do not want to faceAugust 19, 2016 at 7:27 pm #112880AnonymousGuestDear Tracey:
You are welcome. You wrote: “my husband wants me to be me the real me, he says ive been through enough and its time for the real me to stop hiding.”
It is a loving encouragement from your husband, encouraging the real you to come out of hiding. Do so with him, little by little. It is possible to come out of hiding when you are in a safe relationship, when you trust your partner to welcome the real you as she reveals herself more and more.
Please post anytime as you exit the Glass Box.
anita
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