âEdit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece after all.â ~Nathan W. Morris
I began 2015 by cleaning out my closet. I sold and donated and trashed the pieces that werenât serving me anymore. Embarrassingly enough, I purged nearly 100 items. It felt great. Getting rid of stuff and seeing beauty behind the clutter was incredible. But this story isnât really about my closet.
Itâs also not about my desk drawers, my linen closet, or my kitchen, which all came next. As it turns out, getting rid of clutter and extra things was just the tip of the iceberg. In the same way that buying things didnât make me feel better, getting rid of things wasnât really the solution, either.
What I initially imagined as an exercise in clothing minimalism has turned into a pursuit of âbetter, but lessâ across all areas of my life. So I started thinking about what it was that I valued most, that I wanted more of most. The answer? Time.
I wanted time to finish what I started. I wanted time with my most important people. I wanted time for pleasure and healing. And I wanted time to go slowly. After nearly a year, the result is more joy, more freedom, more space for what matters.
So how can you declutter your schedule and create better priorities? It’s about crafting joy through not just having less, but doing less. Here are some ideas on how to make it happen:
Honestly look at what youâre already committed to.
None of this works if you arenât honest about whatâs already in your schedule. From major work commitments to how much time youâre choosing to be on Facebook, keep a candid journal on where your time goes. Watch this for a little while. Try not to judge yourself, but look at what youâre prioritizing, consciously or unconsciously.
Once you see what youâre committed to and how youâre spending your time, you can start to edit. Does whatâs on your schedule line up with your values and goals? Or is it time to make a shift?
I realized that I was committed to far too many projects, and that I wasnât able to do them all well. I also acknowledged that I needed what I call âintegration timeââa buffer where I could process new lessons or emotional events.
Since then, Iâve signed up for fewer classes and scheduled more time for myself to integrate what Iâm learning.
Iâve scaled back the number of happy hours I attend in exchange for coffee dates during the day. This leaves me quiet evenings at home for reading, crafting, and relaxing.
Iâve also pared back the number of political causes Iâm a part of, choosing to focus on one or two important projects at a time.
Follow the âthree thingâ rule.
Itâs like the old saying: âIf everything is a priority, then nothing is.â Choose three things that are the real priorities in your life. Start small. What are the three things you want to accomplish today? Start with those as the skeleton of your day, and build everything else around them.
You might not do those three things first, chronologically, but arrange your day so that youâre sure theyâll happen. Or, you may find that unless you make time for reading, meditation, or exercise before work, that it wonât happen.
Iâve noticed that this âthree thingâ rule is also a good boundary for understanding when Iâve done âenough.â As someone who has a hard time switching off sometimes, using the three thing rule as a guidepost can help me to know when to call it a day. If Iâve accomplished what I absolutely need to, then maybe I can afford stop work to go for a walk or make a great home-cooked meal.
Honing in on only three things helps us to clear the noise and distractions so that we can focus on what feels most meaningful. You can start to extrapolate, too: what are the three things you want to make sure happen this week? This month? This year? Choosing only three makes sure that we are ruthlessly clear on what matters most.
Start saying no.
This one is pretty simple. If itâs not supporting your values, your priorities, your âthree thingsâ or your inner well-being, it has to be a no.
I suggest that for a set period of time (two weeks tends to do the trick), everything that isnât already on your plate is a no. This gives your brain and schedule a break from more input before you dive in again.
Of course, there are times when itâs not reasonable to drop everything, such as if youâre caring for a child or aging parents. If this is the case, itâs even more important to pare down the nonessential, and maybe even ask for help.
The ability to craft elegant boundaries and a good rubric for new commitments can be a process. But over time, youâll learn to trust your intuition. In the meantime, get some practice in confidently saying no. People in your life will also learn how to hear your no, and respect it.
If lots of noes seem awkward to you, just remember that youâre actually saying yes to what you really want.
When I was caring for my mom when she was ill a few years ago, I needed a lot of time to recharge in between visits. Some friends were offended when I turned down plans; others actually responded with offers of support.
Just by being honest, and a little vulnerable, with what I needed (time and space to digest), I was able to get it. What a novel concept!
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Iâve spent the last year rigorously employing these tactics to free myself from overwhelm and commitments that stopped feeling good. This has meant paring back my volunteer commitments and some community classes where Iâd been involved. Itâs meant saying no to enticing invitations and choosing not to sign up for fascinating opportunities.
This might have been awkward, but I find that most people are familiar with that feeling of overwhelm. They recognize it in themselves. Most people actually respect that Iâm choosing to honor my well-being in this way, and that Iâm interested in quality over quantity.
The results of scaling back were really surprising to me. Doing less not only gives me more space for my own care, but it actually allows me to make a greater impact. Iâm doing less, but Iâm doing it with more grace and accountability. I do what I say Iâm going to do. I have the time and space to follow through well on my commitments.
By doing less, Iâm able to show up more present for the people in my life and be more grounded in the present moment. By focusing on fewer projects, commitments and calendar-clutter, Iâm doing less, but Iâm doing everything fullyâand with far more joy.
Clock and flip flops image via Shutterstock
About Christy Tending
Christy Tending is an activist, teacher, and writer. She is a self-care mentor for rebellious humans. She is the mama to one small human and a couple of feral cats. She lives in Oakland, California. Visit her at www.christytending.com and on Instagram.