“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.” -Charles de Montesquieu
There is a very specific type of post I look for when reading guest contributions. It’s not expert advice, though clearly it helps to have a thorough knowledge of a topic. It’s not beautiful prose, though obviously it’s enjoyable to receive a post that reads like poetry.
What I look for is bravery in honesty. You can clarify the wording and expand on the advice, but you can’t create authenticity through editing.
I’d far prefer to read a post about depression from someone who admits their own experiences than from someone who only discloses where they received their PhD. I’d be much more interested in a post about fear from someone who admits what terrifies them than a well-crafted article from an author who seems to be without struggles of his own.
I haven’t always written vulnerably because once upon a time I thought this undermined my authority–and I wanted people to trust me. Then I realized that the people I trust the most in life are the ones who aren’t afraid to show me that they, too, are fallible.
We, as a society, often set ourselves up for massive falls from grace by catapulting ourselves and our public figures onto pedestals, where we’ll inevitably fall.
We are all only human. And none of us have it all figured it out–not even the people we trust to lead, guide, inspire, and blaze a trail for us. No matter how much we have to teach, we still have much to learn.
Admitting this isn’t insecurity; it’s honesty. Of course, there’s a balance to be struck. If we hope to be a force for good, we have to be good to ourselves so that being humble doesn’t preclude us from being strong.
The point is that we can’t reach other people by extending a hand from 1,000 miles above them. We have to acknowledge that we’re in the same boat in order to help steer each other straight.
I may not know you, but I know I am a lot like you, and that we can relate to each other. I know that we are not alone with our challenges and feelings. And knowing that is truly great.
Photo by Akuppa
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Typo alert but so perfectly placed it almost seems intentional.
In paragraph 2 you write: “….(they) are the ones who aren’t afraid to show me that they, too, are INFALLIBLE.”
What I think you meant to write here is ….”(they) are the ones who aren’t afraid to show me that they, too. are FALLIBLE.”
What better time to prove you are fallible then when writing about being fallible. And yes, I was at one time on the path to become an English teacher. Please forgive the grammatical scrutiny. 🙂
Great post.
LOL I wish I could say that was intentional, for irony, but it was just another indication that I am *fallible*!
Lori – a typo I am sure – but in your article today you talk about being infallible – I think you mean fallible which the article talks about so eloquently. As far as I know only the Pope is infallible – meaning his decisions and beliefs on the Catholic church are always correct, never wrong… the rest of us well, we blunder along making mistakes regularly thus are very fallible.
Best – love your point of view
Oksana
“I may not know you, but I know I am a lot like you, and that we can relate to each other”. I am not even a buddhist…but those words are simply beautiful, lori.
p.s I found you from leann rimes RT.
I admire honesty
Thank you Lori, for the reminder that we are great in our humble learning and sharing of difficulty. Am learning that greatness can be found anywhere. In people who care for their ill loved ones, in nurses, in our daily interactions. As long as we open our hearts, and care. Greatness really is everywhere.
Well I guess the fact that I don’t even know what fallible means, means that I too am fallible (although I can pretty much gather the meaning from this post). LOVED this post Lori. SO very true. Many people think it’s necessary to portray that you’ve got your shit together, but people will actually relate more if you don’t! Hope to have a guest post to you soon 🙂
I wonder why people are so afraid to show some vulnerability. When I started blogging about my divorce…I made a decision to be honest. Very few people who I actually knew read it…but I knew that there were many people who had to feel exactly the same way I did. Being honest about myself and my feelings and my mistakes was bound to touch someone else…
I needed it to heal myself…
Thank you, Ivana =) I’m so glad you found your way here!
Haha we all are! I will look forward to reading a guest post from you =)
I bet it was really therapeutic for you, as well. That’s how I feel when I really put myself out there. It feels freeing and empowering, and it also feels great to think perhaps it may help someone else.
What a beautiful comment, Uzma. =)
Thanks Oksana! I appreciate that you let me know.
Excellent article, Lori!I’m honored to be one of the people that you found authentic enough to allow a guest post from. I think one of the reasons why this blog is so good is that it’s authentic, and I think all the blogs have that in common.
They may be about personal development, movies, or whatever. They can be negative or positive or anything else. The only single, common aspect is that they are completely 100% authentic and congruent with the writer.
Good point.
Thanks Fred! I loved your post and your SEAT philosophy. Thank you again for sharing that post with the Tiny Buddha community. =)