“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Recently, a blogger I admire wrote a long note on a social media site identifying blogging practices he finds annoying—and referring to bloggers who utilize them as “fundamentally wrong.” Some of them are things I also choose not to do, but not all of them.
As I read through his list of “blogging mistakes,” recognizing some of them here, I found myself getting defensive. I thought it was wrong of him to call other bloggers fundamentally wrong, implying everything he chooses to do is right, and then I realized the irony.
I was making him wrong for making me wrong. How was I any different?
I shared this story with a friend of mine, and she told me that sometimes, it is black and white. She said we sometimes need to identify other people as wrong, because this is how we learn what we believe to be right—which is a precursor to acting on it.
What I realized amid all of this is that there is a difference between identifying something as right, and identifying it as right for you. And most often, what matters is that we do the latter.
When you believe something is right, you may be tempted to tell other people what they should and shouldn’t do. When you believe something is right for you, you honor that belief, but accept what other people choose to do without feeling the need to negate it.
When you believe something is right, you may be tempted to judge other people if they don’t support your belief. When you believe something is right for you, you realize it isn’t a threat when someone else thinks differently.
When you believe something is right, you may be tempted to fight for it. When you believe something is right for you, you feel at peace whether someone else agrees with you or not.
And now again, a little irony: clearly I believe it’s right to understand that what’s right for you might not be right for everyone. This feels right for me because it helps me understand and accept people while taking care of my own needs.
What do you believe is right when it comes to identifying other people as wrong?
Photo by jumpinjimmyjava
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people overcome internal blocks to meeting their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 