“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy
With apologies to everyone who is from somewhere else or lived before 1776, we Americans want everyone to believe that we live in the greatest country in the history of humanity and that makes us the greatest humans beings ever.
We even have data to back up our bravado: our GDP, the quantity of our millionaires and even billionaires, and our weapons power. We have more movie stars, more rock stars, and more celebrities who are celebrated for being celebrities than anybody. That’s right, by anything we choose to pay attention to, we’re the greatest.
America certainly seems to be the land of achievement. So how did I get to be so lazy? It seems I have had an attraction to “low hanging fruit.”
I am intrigued by solutions that come in the form of a pill. I want growth without the necessity of change. In short, I am a typical American.
The fact is I am a product of my environment. I have spent my life being inundated by marketing messages telling me “you deserve it,” “do it the easy way,” and “lose weight while you sleep.”
There seem to be such an abundance of easy solutions. Why on earth would I ever consider doing anything hard or time consuming?
I had to turn lazy. I wasn’t born that way. Like everyone else, I came into this world with nothing but possibility. I had no notion of limitation. “Work” wasn’t a dirty word. In fact, I worked at everything with joy.
Do you know I learned how to both walk and talk with no schooling whatsoever? True, Mom and Dad were encouraging. But I have a sneaking suspicion I would have figured it out anyway. I really wanted it.
America, the Land of the Free
As I got older, I formed a really bad habit: I began comparing myself to others. Were my grades as good as other kids my age or my siblings? Could I run as fast? Did I have as many friends? I developed an aching need for these things. I wanted this stuff and if I could get it on the cheap, so much the better. In fact, free was better yet.
My world offered a lot of “free.” At least, they said it was free. But it wasn’t really. There was always an unspecified cost. I just started accumulating the debt of it.
Since everyone else seemed to be amassing that same debt too it all felt normal. Normal was proclaimed by gifted marketers and copywriters as highly desirable. Who was I to argue?
Being cool just came with drinking the right beer. Being refined came with wearing the right clothes. Being successful came with driving the right car. Never mind that I wasn’t even sure I liked beer. Fashion is such a moving target I secretly felt I would never grasp it. And cars, they just got more and more expensive.
When did free become so hard and time consuming?
Too Fast for My Own Good
So I graduated from free to fast. Okay, I am now willing to pony up the bucks so long as it’s lickety-split. If a Porsche makes me instantly debonair, I’ll fork over the dough. Bring on the shortcuts!
Years and years of this kind of reasoning saw millions of dollars run through my hands. But all of this stuff was consumable. It went away, washed down the drain, and wore out. Sure, I had fun. But what did I have to show for it?
I will not discount the thrilling experiences, fond memories, and good times. But there was no permanence in this life of quick fixes.
After many lessons (more than I care to admit) and much pondering, I started to turn the battleship that is my mind. Maybe counting the cost is a good idea. Maybe the purposeful expenditure of time is worthwhile. Those were the new theories anyway. So I determined to test them out.
Something for Something and The Slow Fix
What I discovered was that a mindful use of my time and resources created a new and bigger world. I built useful foundations that can take a beating and still stick around. I found that selfishness had too high of a price tag on it and that indolence just wasn’t worth it.
These days I focus on abundance. The fact that there is a price for things makes them valuable. The requirement of time makes them precious. Abundance springs from a mindful investment in value.
It is no longer about give and take; it is about giving and receiving. Taking requires no willing giver. In fact, it usually prods unwilling givers. But receiving requires cooperation, collaboration, and acceptance. It also draws these things. True giving cannot exist without true receiving and vice versa. It’s a package deal.
All the money that washed over me and away is gone, but it wasn’t meant to stick. The money I encounter these days has a new adhesive quality unknown to me when I didn’t truly value it.
I am older now. Arguably, I have less time left. But I don’t mind expending my shortening time for worthwhile things. After all, that is what time is built for.
It turns out I can’t afford the phony promises of something for nothing and I don’t have time for quick fixes. From here on out it’s slow food, quality over discounts, and nothing free with strings attached. I am starting to suspect that this was the American Dream all along.
Photo by Luz Adriana Villa A
About Kenneth Vogt
You know how many small business owners have lots of ambitions but can’t seem to get clear about how to turn them into reality? Kenneth teaches them how to make their ambitions real at www.VeraClaritas.com.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Thanks for writing this 🙂 It’s a whole lifestyle that needs to be re-learnt. But it’s never to late to start. It can be challenging and it’s easy to go off track even on the “right” track.. But small steps will bring you somewhere one day
Thanks for the post! I love the way you shared about your experience and giving your own perspective in our world.
Great post!
Amazing!
A read a wise quote years ago from Will Smith that applies here: “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.” Glad I read this when I was younger as it’s helped me numerous times since then!
That track has a name: it’s called life. The destination is always the same, it is this moment. I don’t worry about the past me that didn’t know what the present me knows. Someday I will look back on the current me and realize how naive I am still. It’s all fine. It is an upward spiral, so long as you take a large enough perspective.
Truth is truth wherever you find it.
This article really hit me…like many others, I spent most of my adult life chasing the so-called “American Dream” only to lose everything when the economy came crashing down five years ago. I became so bitter and cynical with the “American Dream” and our whole way of life in this country that I came very close to leaving the US and even renouncing my citizenship.
I still believe the “American Dream” and our system of capitalism is fundamentally broken beyond repair, and a new system must rise up to take its place. Not capitalism, not communism, but something completely new and different. Perhaps the new “sharing economy” concept is the answer, perhaps it is something that has not even been thought of yet.
I am finally learning to stop listening to the voices and “shoulds” and lies of others, and start listening to myself and my own soul. I now live a life that is much simpler and less materially oriented, focused on reuse, recycling and localism, and I am pursuing work in the social justice sector that will feed my spirit, even if it does not feed my pocketbook nearly as much as my previous life.
Not everyone understands my life now; I have had to tune out some friends and even family members who are very negative. But I cannot help but notice that many of those same people are depressed and anxious, like I was, even as they continue to chase the world of “bigger, better, faster, more,” I am finally, for the first time in my life, finding peace.
Great article Kenneth…really makes you think! Thanks for sharing.
I found this rather rude and insulting. This shows the heart of the author, not of America. My experience is that we are a nation of primarily kindness, openness and generosity, ESPECIALLY when compared to other places.
The problem with these types of comments is the lack of exposure to other places. When you live a small life and limited experiences, one can see how bitterness is the end result.
Is is yours. It is not America’s!
There is your truth and my truth. Not THE truth.
Fantastic message, wonderful and captivating writing! Thank you for sharing your lessons learned! 🙂 Love this!
Hi Doc, I honor your comments. Please understand this is hyperbole. In my “small life and limited experiences” I have lived all over the US plus England and Mexico. We as Americans must face the truth about our shadow side. We are exporting the hype as well as the generosity. We have to be big enough to say we can be better. We got as good as we are by that attitude.
Doc, that right there is a big topic worthy of a lot of posts and maybe a book or two. Better yet, it is worthy of an ongoing dialog.
A fundamental truth about capitalism is that it works best when individuals focus on the good of the individual AND the group. Ayn Rand was wrong and John Nash was right.
I remember during the House debates in the run up to the first Gulf War when Congressman Dick Gephardt opined, “America has the greatest system of government in the world…and it stinks!” I am also drawn to recall the bible book of Jeremiah where it states, “It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step.” We’ve got a ways to go as humans. But I believe we are on the right path.
Perspective — that’s all we’ve got. As another commenter noted, we need to be watchful that we don’t start thinking our perspective is The Truth. But is can still be true. I hope what I described can uncover a little truth for whoever is looking.
I can relate to this post. I’m in my early 20s, graduated college and “suppose” to be living the “good life” by now. Many people around me have found success and as I compared my life to theirs the more insecure I felt about myself because I have not reached that level of success yet. I am currently still trying to find my way in life. It’s not their fault that they were making me feel bad about myself, it’s my own thinking and comparing. I have learned to stop the comparison and accept where I am now and I am feeling better about my situation.
Comparison is overrated. Which is better, an orange or a donkey? We often make comparisons to other people that are no more sensical than that. Ok, they have a corporate job and you don’t. They are married and you aren’t. They have kids and you don’t. They have a car loan or house mortgage or club membership or whatever and you don’t. The facts may be worth noting. But the meaning you give them is everything. Choose a meaning that supports you rather than supposes you.
You are both right, just coming at the same immutable truth from different angles. In my experience, the true American spirit that Doc describes is that which has made this country great…to date. However, I have seen a dubious shift in the last couple of decades that very much threatens that spirit and greatness. Indeed, I have been fortunate enough to have lived and travelled fairly extensively around this world, and have witnessed kindness far greater from those with far less. We have capacity, opportunity and capability as Americans, far in excess of much of the rest of this world we are a part of. The question I find troubling today is whether we will choose to use, and hence maintain, these gifts.