“We are so used to working that not working is the new hard work.” ~Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You know that feeling just as something bad is happening that you can’t control, when your stomach does a backflip, lurches up into your throat, and then drops into your toes?
I experienced it one day snapping back to full consciousness as my car glided off the left shoulder of the freeway and spun in a full 360-degree circle on the gravel.
I’d logged a very busy week at work, been to a music group practice, done some freelance editing, and gone for a few runs in preparation for a marathon. Now I was headed to a weekend event with my spiritual community.
There I was, zipping down the freeway in the fast lane on a crisp and sunny fall morning. I felt drowsy, so I flipped on the car radio to keep myself alert.
In retrospect, I should have also sung along at the top of my lungs. Or, you know, pulled off the road to rest. But I didn’t want to be late for the start of the gathering.
The last thing I remember thinking was “There aren’t any cars close by. I’ll just close my eyes for a second or two.”
Superhero Syndrome
Ever been so exhausted you can’t think straight?
Do any of these sound familiar?
- “There’s too much to do—I can’t afford to stop and rest.”
- “If I just push through, I can get this done and relax afterward.”
- “I can’t ask for help—I’m the only one who will make sure this gets done right.”
- “I have to finish this. [Person or group] is depending on me.”
Thoughts like these have become frighteningly common. We think we need to do it all, so we push ourselves way past our limits. I call this “Superhero Syndrome.”
And it’s not just unhealthy. It’s downright dangerous.
Excessive fatigue is epidemic in our society. According to a 2011 National Sleep Foundation poll, close to half of Americans between thirteen and sixty-four say they rarely or never get a good night’s sleep during the work week.
Exhaustion can lead to all sorts of problems, from impaired performance, poor immune system function, and increased risk of obesity to stroke, diabetes, and heart disease.
Not to mention car accidents.
The first step in avoiding exhaustion—as with most problems—is self-awareness. You need to check in with yourself regularly to see if you’re overdoing it.
The second step is figuring out what to do about it if you are.
The standard advice is true: If you’re overtired, stop what you’re doing and rest or sleep.
Draw firm boundaries around your time and energy by learning to say no to people, things—and sometimes yourself.
Practice good sleep hygiene and try to get a full night’s sleep every night.
But there are times when, despite our best intentions, we don’t—or can’t—do these things. What then?
6 Surprising Tips for Overcoming Exhaustion
1. Ditch the traditional nightly sleep cycle.
If a straight eight hours doesn’t do it for you, consider this: some researchers suspect we’re not wired for it anyway. They say that prehistoric humans slept for about four hours, woke up for a while, and went back to sleep again until dawn.
Others have noted different sleep patterns across cultures, from the midday siesta to countries where multiple naps are the norm.
Experiment and see if changing up your sleep periods makes a difference.
2. Do the opposite of whatever you’ve been doing.
If you’ve been pushing yourself physically, it’s no surprise that you should stop and rest or take a nap, or go to bed early.
But if you’ve been pushing yourself mentally, go do something physical. Take a walk, do some stretching, or run an errand. Bodily movement will clear your head, get your blood flowing, and help bring you back into balance.
3. Hit that snooze alarm without guilt.
I’ve used a trick to psych myself out for years. I work backward from the time I want to wake up, factor in two snooze alarm periods, and set my clock for that earlier time.
The result? I get a brief but lovely time in which to feel a little bit decadent. “I wish I didn’t have to get up now. Oh, wait—I don’t have to!”
4. Pretend you’ve just woken up.
Another mental trick—as you’re going to bed at night, tell yourself it’s morning.
Imagine what it would feel like to go through an entire day, starting right now. Think about all that physical and mental effort. You can even do (just a few!) jumping jacks or deep stretches to give your muscles a brief sense of fatigue.
How many times have you said to yourself, “I just wish I could go back to sleep for another eight hours”?
Now go “back” to sleep for another eight hours.
5. Ask for help.
You’d think this tip wouldn’t qualify as “surprising,” yet sadly, for many of us, it does.
When you suffer from Superhero Syndrome, you’re usually under the impression that everything on your to-do list has to be done by you.
Granted, you may not be in the position to hire a personal staff to assist you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for some help when you need it.
As a fellow Superhero Syndrome sufferer, I know this is scary. But experience has shown me that when people value and care about you, they’re usually very happy to help. They won’t see you as weak or needy, but as someone who is strong enough to advocate for your own needs.
Asking your spouse or partner to handle the kids for a while so you can take a break does not mean you don’t love your kids. It means you love them enough to want to give them your best, fully rested self.
Requesting backup at work does not mean you’ll be seen as incompetent. It means you care about producing the best results possible, and that you’re secure enough to let others assist you with that.
So go ahead and ask for support. You may very well be surprised by the result.
6. Make a to-do list for tomorrow.
Before bed, take five minutes to think about the next day and make some notes for yourself.
For small tasks like calling the doctor, getting gas for the car, or picking up ingredients for dinner, writing them down or entering them into whatever device you use to track things reassures your mind, and you’ll be able to release them for the night.
For longer-range projects, choose one small thing you can do to move them forward tomorrow.
The idea here is that by making note of something in a place you know you’ll see it frees up your mind to relax into truly restful sleep.
Don’t Try to Be a Superhero
I was extremely lucky that day I fell asleep and drove off the road. A few passing drivers gave me very shocked looks as they whizzed by, but I didn’t crash into any of them. I recovered quickly enough to nudge my car back onto the road (and drive to the next exit, where I pulled over and sat there shaking for a while.)
The most enduring result of that day has been that I now realize when I’m too tired to be safe or effective. On good days, I notice sooner and take steps to reverse the trend.
If you’re suffering from Superhero Syndrome and trying to do too much, don’t push yourself to (or worse, past) the point of exhaustion. You may not be as lucky as I was.
Also, just plain old “being happier and more rested” is nice, too.
Sleeping man image via Shutterstock
About Michelle Russell
Michelle Russell does her best to take off her superhero cape before she gets too tired from leaping tall buildings in a single bound. She also blogs at Enoughist.com, where one of the topics is how to know when you’ve done enough.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Nice article, Michelle! I am a huge fan of to-do lists, except instead of doing it each night I do a weekly list on Sunday nights, and each night, I just look through that week’s list and clarify what is the one big thing I have to knock off the list the next day. This has made a tremendous impact on me. Many of your other tips however are a real surprise to me 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
I can relate and I am guilty. I sometimes think I’m a superhero and try to do it all but in the end all I am doing is a great job of doing everything halfway. I am working on slowing down and delegating, then trusting my delegates to complete the job. The trusting my delegates part is the hardest part but I’m getting there.
Hi Michelle really enjoyed this. Some of your tips I do practice, but it’s clear I need to pay more attention to that superhero syndrome! Most of us suffer from it at some point and as you point out being aware of the red flags helps keep you safe…and well. Glad you’re safe and well too. 🙂
Great post Michelle. We definitely have a culture of superheroes these days – it seems to be a badge of honour to be so busy and stressed you can’t function properly. Sub-optimal! Some great ideas, though I had to nix the snooze button when I realised I just kept pressing it for over an hour a couple of times! 🙂
Very helpful post Michelle…this mild-mannered reporter has been secretly running around town as Mediocre Man. Thank you for writing this.
Thanks, Sumitha–and I love the “weekly list” tip. I *try* to do that, but end up doing shorter daily lists on the fly much more often. But I’m not at all surprised to hear how much of a positive impact that has for you. Either way, you’re right–it’s all about keeping the major things in view. While not losing sight of all the smaller but still important ones in the process . . . (sigh). “How to be productive” — that’s another subject entirely! 🙂
Hi Missy–thanks for your comment! Isn’t slowing down so darn hard? But worth it when we can make it happen–for me, it tends to pay off in increased clarity and energy. And yes, I can imagine how tough it would be to trust the people I delegated to (If I had them–heh). Good for you for working on that–the more you can ask for help, the less of a superhero you’ll feel you have to be. :o)
Hey, Elle! Yes, I find that Superhero Syndrome is frighteningly prevalent these days. We’re encouraged to try to do it ALL, no matter what that entails and without considering whether it’s actually possible. (Usually it isn’t!) So unfortunately we have to train ourselves to watch out for those red flags, because no one is going to do it for us. Accountability helps, too–for instance, my best friend knows my tendency to push too hard and will call me on it when she sees me approaching the edge. Again–it’s that hard-but-helpful practice of asking for help. 🙂
Ellen–yes, it’s the whole “badge of honor” syndrome, isn’t it? As in, “I’m so busy I must be incredibly important.” It seems like many of us are in competition to appear more busy and stressed than the next person, just to pump up our own sense of self. I see this all the time–in myself as well as others. But you’re right about how sub-optimal it is. Hmm…maybe we should institute some kind of event or challenge where we compete to see how un-busy and serene we can be! 🙂
Ah, John–being Mediocre Man sounds like something to aspire to! And I’m not kidding! So what color is your cape? ;o)
Yes! Thank you, Michelle. It’s such a relief to hear someone say that taking care of ourselves is something that we *should* be doing. So necessary in our over-scheduled, stressed out world.
I have also this superhero mentality and always not enough time. On the other side I have also some rituals that help me to calm down. Great post Michelle.
I am a university student and i can relate to this post a lot. Trying to do everything by myself. It’s tough, really. Trying to take things slower now, with extra hours of sleep. Please pray for me!
Hi, Jessica–glad to say it, and I hope many, many more people start talking about how self-care is as big a “should” as there is. It always reminds me of the “golden goose” fable–if you don’t take care of the goose, eventually you won’t get any more golden eggs!
Thanks for your comment, Bruno–and if you’re inspired, I’d love to hear what some of those calming rituals are!
Hi Lina–prayer sent aloft for you. 🙂 I remember my own university days, and how tough it was to accomplish everything I wanted to get done. I’m betting from your comment that you set a pretty high standard for yourself! But yes, extra sleep is wonderful–you’ll get more done during your waking hours, more effectively, than you’d expect, so the investment in more snoozing should pay you some wonderful dividends. Good luck!
I think we’re at the brink of a societal awakening. At least I hope that we are! And, every single one of us working to bring this change takes it one step closer to reality.
Jessica, I think/hope so, too. And you’re right–every person who steps up and encourages us all to take good care of ourselves is important and their voice is needed and welcome. Not just through blog posts and social media, but (maybe mostly!) in our “in real life” relationships, too. So let’s all keep reminding each other. 🙂
Michelle,
I laughed out loud on #4. I do that on days when I am too wired to sleep. Great tip!
I also make ‘not to do’ lists these days to gain focus.
Pratima, you do #4 too? That’s great–I’ve never met anyone else before who has–or who has admitted to it, anyway. 🙂 And the “not to do” list is also a fantastic idea.
I use a kind of meditation with audio that lowers my brain frequency to the alpha level and lower. Another thing is to go hiking to the mountains.
Ah, okay. Good to know. Being out in nature usually does it for me, too. Thanks for sharing!
Great post, Michelle. Pretty scary way to get a “wake-up” call on this topic–glad you are okay. Something else to think about is watching what you eat and drink in the 3-4 hours before bedtime. Carbs and alcohol — however much fun they are 🙂 — can impact sleep quality quite a bit.
Mary Anne–it was certainly a wake-up call all right. Literally! Good point about carbs and alcohol, too. I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t personally have to worry about that part, but late-night starchy carbs, on the other hand . . . (*blush*) Guilty as half a bag of oyster crackers in a bowl of soup. 🙂
Great points Michelle. I am an inveterate snooze alarm user and it’s a problem because I always end up getting up 20 minutes late. I LOVE your idea in #3 to factor it in. I’m stealing that one! 😉
A good reminder to slow down….Thanks for the post!
Susan, please, steal away! That trick works wonders for me. 🙂
You’re welcome, Jamie!
Hey Michelle,
Great post. I really like the last point about making a to do list for the next day. I don’t do this every night (I wish i did) but on the occasions that I remember to do it I find the next day is far far more productive. Such a simple little hack makes such a huge difference. Making a list the previous day means my next day is all about execution rather than hand wringing and agonising about whether or not to do certain tasks (i.e. Are they important enough to do now or should I do them later?)
Some great practical advice here. Thanks for sharing!
I look forward to your next post!
Thanks for the advice, Michelle. I have found when I don’t follow tips such as these, my body will invariably make sure that I slow down… I can trace numerous colds and minor problems to exhaustion and overwork. It would be so much simpler to find balance in the first place!
Ash, I really like this: “…means my next day is all about execution rather than hand wringing.”
Exactly. There’s a term called “decision fatigue”–when we are forced to make too many decisions in too short of a time span, those decisions tend to get worse (and we feel burned out by having to make them all).
But making a list the night before means you’ve already “pre-decided” what to focus on . . . and as long as you trust the decisions you’ve made, you can just get moving on them without any extra angst. So I’ve found the same thing you have–when I manage to follow that tip myself, it does make a tremendous difference the next day.
Thanks for your comment!
Hi Kerrin! I’m chuckling at your comment because the same thing happens to me. Our bodies will only let us stray so far before forcibly dragging us back into line, right? I always try to remember that my body is ally and not my enemy when it pulls the brakes on my over-active mind . . . but you’re right that it’s far better to find that balance to begin with if we can. Let’s hear it for being works in progress . . . ;o)
Hi, Michelle! Great post. Love your tips. It’s so easy to push yourself too hard. I did that for years and years. But sometimes that’s not the only problem. Once I found myself nodding off at the wheel–because I had pasta for lunch. If I have too much carbs, especially if it has gluten, I fall asleep. Luckily, my husband took over. Anyway, I’m going to urge some of my friends to read this post. They really, really need to follow your advice!
Hi Cherryl–I hear you on the pasta–starchy carbs are a great love of mine, too, and they can sure make you sleepy! Glad your hubby took over the driving that day. 🙂
Important issue!
For me, it really helped to learn that even short naps have been shown to improve energy and mental focus afterwards…But I’m still bad at making myself take them (partly because I also want to take a short walk as a break too).
Hey Michelle, I’m so glad you’re raising this SuperHero tendency.
I think we’re all guilty of ‘magical thinking’ from time to time; we set a ton of (unrealistic) goals for ourselves, then wonder why we end up exhausted and achieving less than if we just paced ourselves better.
I’ve recently experienced the inevitable negative effects of taking too much work on without a break (12 days in a row). I was getting tired and sluggish and in my desperation I resorted to multi-tasking. However, mistakes, errors and forgetfulness quickly showed up.
My experience luckily wasn’t life threatening, but certainly reminded me of that 1) too much hurrying leads to stress and 2) it’s not worth engaging in so called multi-tasking, however desperate the situation may seem to be…
So I totally agree – Lack of good sleep and rest have a lot to answer for!
Hi Leslie–yes, isn’t it funny how *knowing* what to do doesn’t always translate into actually *doing* it? I hear you on that. 🙂
Thanks for your comment, Andrea–funny, I hadn’t thought about it in terms of “magical thinking,” but you’re absolutely right. Your 12 days in a row sounds like it was quite hellish–hope you’ve had a chance to recuperate! And I think people are finally, starting to wise up, at least a little, about the dangers of multitasking. Maybe you’ll join me in my quest to make “unitasking” a household word. 😉
Michelle, thanks for the great post, and for the reminder to ask for help. I think this is especially challenging for parents of small children who may not live near family. Without built-in support mechanisms, asking for help can pose a real challenge, but is more important than ever.
Your post reminded me of that story about the goose that lays the golden eggs. Each of us is that goose and we need to take care of ourselves. Pushing too much is actually counter-productive, or, as you alluded to, could be catastrophic.
Angela–oh, gosh, yes. Kids. Those wonderful beings who bring such joy to our lives…and complicate everything in the process. 🙂 I like how you used the phrase “built-in” support mechanisms–I think that if you have something pre-established, such as your spouse or partner taking the kids for a couple of hours on the same day and time each week, you’re more likely to actually build that rest-and-recharge time into your own routine. Yes, asking for help can be challenging–but like every other habit, you can (maybe should!) start small and go from there. Every little bit helps. 🙂
Rob, funny you should mention that because I ALWAYS think of the “goose/golden egg” story as an illustration of what I’m talking about. Want a steady supply of those golden eggs? Take good care of that goose! Thanks for your comment. Great minds think alike–heh. 🙂
Being a superhero is not that bad… Unless you have Kryptonite stuck to your shoe and did not know it. The bod does need rest and a break from time to time. It comes down to really listening to what its telling you and acting on it. Great Post!