“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” ~Fay Weldon
After an extremely harrowing time dealing with big life changes while working a very stressful job, I snapped.
No, I didn’t reach for the nearest stapler and start attacking my colleagues (though this was a secret fantasy when the going got really tough). The words of that song by The Animals came to mind and I decided, “I got to get out of this place.” At least for a little while.
And so, after much planning, globe spinning, and Google searching, I finally cobbled together an itinerary and nervously asked The Boss Man for six weeks off. Gulp. He said yes! Just goes to show, oftentimes, she who asks, gets.
Fast forward a few months, the tickets are booked, accommodation arranged, I was off on a solo venture to Central America with nothing but a suitcase of dreams and me, myself, and I for company.
Sometimes in life you get these crazy whims and suddenly decide to jump in the driver’s seat, grab the steering wheel, and make a hard right from the road of your life. To some, this may involve a lot of nerve and a yearning for adventure, and true, that is a small part of it.
The other, more interesting part of it for me (for fear of sounding like a bumper sticker) was to feel the fear and do it anyway.
It was about having faith that things will work out and trusting that the universe has my back. Keep the faith if you will.
I didn’t know exactly why I was going away but just had a deep sense that this was what I had to do at this time in my life (or face a lengthy prison sentence for assault with a stapler).
Funnily enough, the whole “the universe has my back” thing became the trip motto, and when I started to obsess over every last logistical detail, I had to give myself a stern talking to.
“Girl, you don’t and can’t control the world. Let it go, it will all work out. And if not, then at least I tried. To quote that fine and wise Irishman, Samuel Beckett, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” Truly words to live by.
Once I let go of the expectation of what the experience should look like and put my inner control freak back in her place, the strangest things started to happen.
I had a small stash of savings lined up that I like to refer to as the “F It Fund.” However, part of the deal with The Boss Man was that I was going to be taking unpaid leave. While paying for my apartment in Brooklyn. Those familiar with the rental market in New York City will feel my pain as I type this.
I had my apartment advertised for sublet but no fish were biting. Instead of panicking, I just accepted that if I didn’t find anyone to rent my place I would be fine. That’s what an emergency credit card is for. As the young kids say these days #YOLO!!
Again, once I had given up any attachment to outcome, three days before I was due to leave I had an email from the sublet agent. They had found someone last minute who wanted to rent my place for a month. Hallelujah!
After much victory dancing in the kitchen, I readied my place for these subletters. I trundled downstairs to check my mailbox only to find a bunch of checks that were overdue to me and I had given up hope of receiving. Taxi! JFK, pronto.
And so, the moral of this particular story is that sometimes in life you need to stop and listen to that little voice inside that’s desperately trying to get your attention. It’s trying to provide you with the wisdom to trust and follow your heart, not your head.
Following your heart does not necessarily have to involve grinding your life to a halt and taking six weeks off work to travel; that’s just my experience. It’s about listening within to whatever it is that your heart is telling you.
It may be telling you to work less and spend more time with your family. Or have more fun in life. Or cultivate more self-care by taking a yoga class on a regular basis, or even taking ten minutes of your day to sit quietly and just breathe.
Whatever it is, know that in doing so you are subtly making a change. It really doesn’t matter how small or how big.
Some people might go all out and create huge life changes, such as moving cities, ending a toxic relationship, or changing careers. Some might just choose to create more peace in their lives or remove a bad habit that no longer serves.
The point is that whatever you choose, if it is coming from your heart know that you will be supported throughout whether you realize it or not.
The end result might not look the way you anticipated or even have any resemblance to it. The universe works in mysterious ways, but will provide the best for you whether you like the outcome or not; after all, we are here to learn and evolve.
Just get out of your own way, let go of attachment to outcome, and simply allow.
Understand that this is a process and we are only human, so do the best you can. I chose to bat this little voice away time and time again, like a persistent fly, focusing instead on my job and generally trying to keep my head above water.
But that little voice kept getting louder and louder until it was a roar in my ear. “Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? I’m not going to stop poking you until you stop and listen.”
Hands over my ears.
“Still not listening? What if I push you out onto the corner of Awful Circumstance Ave & Bad Luck Street until you are so stressed out that you have no choice but to hold up a white handkerchief and surrender yourself?”
It took me quite some time to finally concede, fully surrender, and accept that I had to make some big decisions, and from those decisions, big changes. But finally, cautiously, I stepped out of my comfort zone, peeking my head out much like a bear coming out of hibernation.
It may feel strange deciding to let that little voice take the reins of your life, even for a short while, and even incredibly terrifying, but so far it’s been the best decision I have made in quite some time.
Girl with heart image via Shutterstock

About Victoria Cox
Victoria Cox currently resides in NYC. She has written for The Conversation, Tiny Buddha, Elephant Journal, The Lady Project, Dumb Little Man & LifeHack. You can connect with her on Instagram @vcox23.
I liked every bit of this article and its so true Victoria about “Just get out of your own way, let go of attachment to outcome, and simply allow.”
I am glad that I have too chosen to follow my Heart and given my corporate job in(Semiconductors) Bangalore and moved to my native HUbli(same state as in Bangalore) and pursuing to Teach and volunteer partime for social service…Yes it takes a lot nerve and courage as you rightly said…But then I decided to take the plunge and this is my first month here..I also immensely liked when You say that the universe covers my back its so needed and i have learnt this to say to myself reading your article.. thanks for sharing your exp..It did instill in me that I am living to what makes me happy and not follow the rat race out there!!! CHeers Yesudas.A
Life is meant to be lived on a leap of faith. Taking risks helps us evolve. The only person who is stopping you is you. I have to keep telling myself that everyday. I have to get out of my own way and let things happen and take risks and move out of my comfort zone.
I love this post. It’s so easy to stay in our comfort zone. We make excuses and say we’re being practical but we aren’t; we’re just stopping ourselves from trying something new because we’re scared. It’s easier to have a reason than to say, “I’m too scared.” Kudos to you for taking the leap and doing what you needed to do. I want to make a similar move and let go of the worry of what the outcome will be. Thanks for your inspiration.
thank you soooo much!!! that was just what I needed to read now!!!! and it’s already helping! You found the precisely right words to shake my mind up and remember me how it’s to be done. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!
Best wishes for you,
Ronja
Hi Ronja. Wow, so thrilled to hear you enjoyed the article! All the best, Victoria
Hi Sakura. Thank you for your wise words. It took me quite some time to figure out that was what I needed to do but I finally summoned up the courage, as I’m sure you will also. Best of luck with everything. Victoria
Hi Talya, thanks so much for your insightful comment. I also have to keep telling myself this every day, it’s a work in progress! All the best, Victoria
Hi Yesudas, thanks so much for your comment. Well done you for taking the plunge & following your heart. It can be such a tough decision but ultimately so rewarding. Best of luck on your new adventures! Victoria
This was a very motivating article for someone like me who is moving from Pennsylvania to Oregon on a whim next week. I am not 100% sure of what my husband and I are doing, but I do know it is one of the best decisions we have ever made. 🙂
Victoria great story and I loved your quote “It’s about having faith that things will work out and trusting that the universe has my back”.
I separated about two years ago and got so much positive energy in having faith and believing in the universe. What does someone hang on to when things have still not changed or until they change. Thank you.
I absolutely love this post Victoria and wholeheartedly agree with not playing it safe so that you can start living. Often the fear we experience isn’t just our own thoughts but those put on to us by friends and family.
Last year I moved from the UK to Sydney to start a life of indefinite travels. Long story short, it was a hideous experience and I ended up having to fly home suddenly when I became seriously ill. I thought the Universe hated me. 4 months after going home and receiving a worrying diagnosis (lifetime and incurable autoimmune disease) and responding well to new medication, I am now back in Australia and everything is working out beautifully this time – the Universe most definitely feels like it’s on my side!
LOVE this article Victoria, truly! 🙂
Toni
Great points here to trust yourself and take a leap of faith, Victoria. This post reminds me of a Paulo Coelho (Alchemist quote) which says that if you really want something to happen, the whole world when conspires to help you achieve it. When we listen to our heart and follow it’s yearning, I’ve also noticed how circumstances come together to support us. As you point out, it takes some faith and courage to let go and trust. Even if we can’t see the immediate results, things fall into place. Yes, it’s terrifying but following our heart tends to help us live our destiny.
I’m inspired to let go more and trust after reading this piece 🙂
Hi Victoria, your timing is uncanny…I know somebody who SO needs to hear this Right. This. Minute. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and for doing so, so eloquently.
Hi Gabrielle, you are most welcome and thanks so much to you for your comment. All the best, Victoria
Hi Vishnu, thanks for your comment. So glad to hear you are feeling inspired and ready to let go more! All the best, Victoria
Hi Toni, thanks for your kind words and for sharing your story. It’s so inspiring to hear that you didn’t give up & pursued your dreams. I wish you all the best for your new life in Australia. Victoria
Hi RT, thanks so much for your comment. Wishing you all the best & keep the faith! Victoria
Hi Lisa. All the best for your upcoming move, sometimes in life you don’t really need to know exactly why you are doing something, just that it intuitively feels right for you. Victoria
Really excellent writing! Thank you for the reminders!! 🙂
Hahaha love this article! Thanks for sharing your spot on wisdom!! 😀
Reading your story I so understand where you are coming from. I recently had a very similar experience myself and took a month of work to travel to Bali solo. All I knew at the time was that this is what I had to do, that little voice inside of me just kept getting louder and louder. Recent events in my life with work and personal items just propelled me to take a leap of faith and break out from my life. It has now brought me back to many changes in my life, moving into a new place where I hope my creative flow as a photographer will return. This is what I think drove me at the end of the day to take the trip. I was so desperate to connect with my true passion and also to find my passion for life in general. I feel like I am now on the right path as a result. I hope your article reaches those who need to find that reconnect with really living.