“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” ~Christopher Reeve
I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. My experiences have also caused severe post-traumatic stress disorder.
My father has been abandoning me for my whole life. As a teenager, I went to live with him because my relationship with my mother was so difficult. He sexually abused me for the year that I lived with him.
At the age of seventeen, I sought solace by turning to what I thought was God. For the next twenty-eight years I held a set of beliefs that were angry and judgmental and made me feel cut off from others, including my family and those in my own church.
Because of my experiences with my father and the church, I had a hard time living in the moment and enjoying life. I lived with low self-esteem and had trouble establishing healthy boundaries in relationships, which caused me to continue to create painful interactions with others.
When I was forty-five years old, I sought relief from my depression and loneliness through self-help books. I quickly found my way to author and publisher Louise Hay and began my journey of enlightenment and healing.
Over the last couple of years, through therapy and continued reading, I have discovered some tools to help me feel more positive, peaceful, and joyful. I notice when I use them consistently, I recover faster from periods of depression. Perhaps they will help you, too, when you are feeling depressed.
1. Focus on self-love.
Some ways to do that are: be patient and compassionate with yourself, release perfectionist standards, remind yourself of all your wonderful qualities and talents, and give yourself praise and encouragement.
Doing a self-love meditation is especially comforting and uplifting for me. I talk to myself like I would to someone else that I want to express love to. It feels amazing to give myself what I want and need.
2. Listen to your inner child, without resistance.
Allow her to feel and express what she is going through and grieve when she needs to. Let him know that you are always there to listen and to love him.
When my inner child feels angry, I validate and soothe her. I let her know that she deserves to have relationships that feel good and have healthy boundaries within them.
3. Notice how you feel in your body when you are upset.
As you observe your unpleasant sensations, name them. For instance, I feel heaviness in my chest, I feel like crying, my arms are warm, my head feels like it’s going to explode, my stomach hurts, my muscles are tight.
As you simply allow your sensations to be, you will notice that they start to dissipate on their own. Try it. You will be amazed.
When I do this exercise, I may also notice the thoughts that are causing the troubling sensations. I have learned that in spite of my unpleasant sensations, I can still hold a positive thought or belief and when I do, I feel better.
So, I may say something like this to myself, “In spite of all of these unpleasant sensations, I know that things can work out the way that I want them to.”
4. Ask someone else for what you need.
One day I was feeling very disconnected from others, so I called a friend of mine and asked if she had time to come by and give me a hug. She said she loves hugs and she came over for a short visit to give me one, which gave me the sense of connection that I needed and wanted to feel.
Here are some examples of things you might ask for: a massage, a favor, someone to listen to you or to help you problem-solve, or a date with your partner or a friend or family member.
Something I do on a regular basis is ask the Universe for a gift. I always get what is perfect for me at that time. Sometimes a wonderful new thought fills my mind and lifts me up or I receive guidance on an important issue, and other times I receive an unexpected monetary gift or an interaction with someone that makes me feel loved or appreciated.
5. Participate in enjoyable activities to help you get out of your head and into the present moment.
Some things you can do are: meditate, spend time with (or call) a friend or family member, read, do a hobby that you love, listen to music, take a hot bath, watch your favorite television show or a movie, or treat yourself to something you have been wanting.
Spending time in nature helps me to ground myself in the present moment. It gives me an inexplicable peace and joy that surprises and rejuvenates me. I love going to the lake or for a walk or sitting on my porch, which has a beautiful view of the most wonderful trees.
6. Focus on the thought “All things are possible.”
You don’t have to know how you will receive your desires and you don’t have to figure anything out. Just rest, knowing that the possibilities will unfold.
I specifically remind myself that it is possible for me to: feel well physically and emotionally, be fulfilled and prosperous, and have love, joy, and peace in my life. When I do this, I sometimes get excited as I anticipate the changes and miracles to come.
7. Use a visualization to release your painful thoughts.
In your mind’s eye, place negative thoughts on leaves and watch them gently float away downstream, or place the troubling words on cars of a freight train and watch them zoom away.
When I do these exercises, I place distance between myself and what is bothering me, and I feel lighter.
8. Practice gratitude for the good times.
Notice when you are not depressed and take the time to be fully present in those moments and appreciate them. Notice how it feels in your body to not be depressed.
Now that I am more aware of when I am feeling good, when depression hits, I know that I am not always depressed. I acknowledge that this too shall pass.
9. Be productive.
Sometimes what you need to get out of the pit of depression is to be productive. You may get depressed because you are not getting important things done, or you may be depressed and therefore not get important things done. In both of these cases, productivity may make you feel good about yourself and lift your mood significantly.
When I feel depressed, I don’t feel like doing anything. So, I tell myself, “In spite of how I feel in my body and these upsetting thoughts, I am going to wash my dishes (or any other activity) anyway.” Once I get one thing done, I feel a sense of accomplishment and am usually motivated to get other things done.
10. Let love in.
Surround yourself with positive and loving people and healthy relationships. I remind myself that I deserve to have relationships that feel good and nourishing to me. I may give myself space in certain relationships and release others that are not working for me.
I remember that people do love me, even if they don’t show it the way that I want. I know they are doing the best they can, and if they don’t love themselves, then they are not going to know how to love me. I forgive them for the ways they have hurt me or let me down, and that gives me some peace.
I consistently practice using my tools when I feel depressed and I know that the saying “practice makes perfect” is not true. My human self will never be perfect, and that is okay.
Not all of my tools will work every time to help me move through depression. Sometimes I use just one tool and other times, I use additional ones. I listen to myself so I will know each time what I need. And you can do the same.
*This post represents one person’s personal experience and advice. If you’re struggling with depression and nothing seems to help, you may want to contact a professional.

About Lori Anderson
Lori Anderson is single and has two grown children and five grandchildren. She discovered metaphysics and New Thought five years ago and is writing a series of books about using specific thoughts to create our lives as we desire them to be.
Great post! Thanks for sharing.
Your story is very moving for me. I used to deal with depression a few years ago; and although I still go through my fair share of ups and downs, I myself have grown to be aware of the good feelings I get on good days that when I do have bad days, I remind myself that “this too shall pass.” I think reminding myself that the state of being will constantly change and even though I think my world is crashing down on me sometimes, knowing that it’s not going to last forever is my silver lining. Without the downs, we wouldn’t come to appreciate the ups. Thank you for sharing your journey and I wish you the best as you continue through life.
Thank you Tim.
Thank you Mariel for letting me know that you can relate to what I shared. And I wish you the best as well!
Wonderful post. I have battled with depression since I was a child–at 53 I have learned what to do to get past it. One thing that helps immensely is getting out of myself and helping others. It’s amazing what can happen when you “don’t surround yourself with yourself”
A very nice article. I’m posting those 10 points here on my desk at work as a reminder every day. Thank you.
i want to die .. i have a fail realtionship my ex cheated me everyday i see her happy and i did everything for her . i left job for her evrything i can do i did for her .. when she moved to new loacation she changed . she earning and i m unemployed and she suddenly changed and not want to talk to me everyday i texting her . i req her on my knee .. i want to die . i have nothing i am totaly lost..
I love this post! I, too, have suffered from depression for most of my life. I’m in my 30’s now and feel like I am just now learning how to live with it instead of just trying to cure it or “get over” it. These are all such wonderful reminders that I’m printing this out and hanging it in my office. It’s like my own little gift from the Universe 🙂 Thanks, Lori
Lori, I too love your article. Hearing some of the struggles that you have endured and being able to relate just makes one feel at ease. When you said you held in resentment and anger, that hit the nail on the head. Although I am younger, I too have held in a lot as well. It was effecting every aspect of my life. from relationships to work. I recently tried to put all things in the past and learned to forgive and I must admit, the more positivity the more your brain will train itself to steer clear of negativity. Thank you so much for sharing your story! <3 You sound like one hell of an incredible woman 🙂
Lori,
This is a very well written article and so true. You have so much to share and it will be so helpful to others! Please keep writing and I will keep reading my friend! You are so very talented!
I know it’s tough. I’m going through a very similar thing. Moved 1100 miles across the country to live in the same city as a woman whom I loved with all my heart and spirit. Gave up my roots in my lifelong home to be with her. Four months later she told me it was all for nothing–she didn’t want me. I considered suicide for the first time in thirty years. It’s not easy. It’s not going to be easy, either, but you have to let her go and move on. You can’t live your entire life for anyone but yourself. You are not alone in this. You are never alone.
This is just a moment in time, my brother. Step aside and let it go past.
Wonderful read. I can relate to your circumstances (childhood) and I feel like I’m just coming to realize that depression as it stands now is my battle. I love that you pointed out where in your body do you feel these negative vibrations, I’ve been practising yoga to try to get out of my head and into my body. I admire the courage you have for workingg through your depression. It’s comforting to read one’s advice whose going through it. It makes you feel more connected. So its greatly appreciated Lori (: -love and light
Hey there my bro 🙂 guess what! You don’t need her and you are better off on your own! I’ve been through this same thing twice now, even lost an unborn child. So I can promise you when I saw life will get easier, u just got to learn to live for you. 🙂
You don’t want to die, what you want is to feel better. But right now that seems impossible to you. I promise you that this shall past, you will be stronger because of it. Go through the pain, its the only way to start healing. Their is a light at the end of the tunnel for which you just entered. Stay strong! your hurting cause your human. Things will get better……….
thank u everyone for ur support .. u people dont know me and u r giving time to teach me that means every people here have beautiful soul . everyone rook mark and melloland u guys are so good .. i love u lori for this website and god bless dear
Thank you so much for Julia. Your kind words are quite an encouragement to me. I send you love and light for your journey!
Hi Tammy, I am feeling so blessed by your comments. Thank you so much for your encouragement to keep writing. It means a lot to me!
Hi Sillysphynx, You sure do know how to make someone feel like a million bucks! Thank you for your kindness!
Wow Ap!! I am feeling blown away at the love and gratitude coming my way! Thank you so much for taking the time to share part of yourself with me. I wish you well on your journey and I send you love.
Hi Jeff, Thank you for taking the time to let me know that you liked my article! : )
Hi Sadie, Thank you for taking the time to reply to my article. I am glad you brought it up to anyone reading this that there are other things you can do as well to help yourself to feel better. My original list was 19 things, but space did not allow for them all. lol.
You can and will make it through this. Your good spirit is evident in your writing. Read some Tiny Buddha posts every day while you are feeling so sad. It will help. Little by little, you will remember what a very good person you are. I hate to say it, but I think were to GOOD for your ex. It may take time, but you WILL find someone who really appreciates how much you love. It will happen. Hang in there, bro.
Hi Himanshu Saini, I am sorry that you are suffering. I can see you gave your ex your all. I hope now you can begin to focus on giving yourself all the love and attention that you once gave her. I know what it feels like to desperately want someone else to love me. But, I promise you that after you learn to love yourself, you will not feel this pain any longer. Give yourself the love that you need and want so badly. I know you can do it. And there are many others that will love you. I send you love and light.
#7 is amazing, and i will try it.. putting my thoughts on freight cars and watching them roll away… you have built such a strong sense of character to be able to encourage and motivate others to learn of and be gentle with themselves, and i am grateful for your post. I had a miscarriage last week and am trying to cope and many times forget that the universe and God is waiting here to love me, and be there for me no matter how long i take to be whole again. I have found love and comfort in a few friends, rather than family, and that is okay to me. It is taking time, and the external pressures of the world to contiue on like nothing happened, is overbearing and overwhelming. This post helps me a lot, and helps me see that i am not alone and everyone goes through struggles… we just have to learn how to cope and move forward at our own pace.
This post is powerful, such wonderful insight, advice, and rich with wisdom! Thank you for sharing your story, your experiences and tools, wonderful! That is so true about practice, agreed…..my mom always said “practice makes improvement” for that same reason, something I love by and say to this day 🙂 Thank you again, this post was really GREAT!
Can’t agree more. Very well said Lori. If your in the tornado, hang in there. When life is a little more calm, practise these ideas as much as you can. It really does help.
I really liked this Lori, thank you for sharing xxx
We all get depressed however it is how you deal with it that matters. I have small episodes of depression but I face them. I deal with them. Well have to face the monsters and move on. This was a very good ready, very inspiring. Thank you for this Lori.
Lori, you are a beautiful soul and I am so grateful you wrote this. You’ve figured out how to uplift yourself and in doing so you’ve also uplifted others. You’re a blessing to this world.
Thank you so much Day for your generous words. I feel so blessed by the things you said to me! You are a great encourager! Namaste.
You are very welcome Talya and thank you for taking the time to let me know that you were inspired. My heart is singing with joy today because of the wonderful response from you and other readers!
You are welcome Fin. I am thrilled that you and others enjoyed the article. Thank you for taking the time to drop me a line.
Thank you Joshua. It is nice to know that we are all one and that others share our experiences. We are not alone.
HI Iv2terp, Thank you for taking the time to lift me up with your words! I love what your mom says and I am going to use that for the rest of my life! I am glad you shared that with me. Namaste.
Awesome!!! I’m so glad! 🙂 hugs and Namaste!
Thank you Adriana for letting me know something specific that you liked about the article. Your response is a great encouragement to me. I almost left #7 out of the article because the article was getting a bit long. Now I know it was left there for you. I am sorry to hear that you had a miscarriage and I send you love and healing energy. Take all the time you need to grieve and heal regardless of what the “world” thinks. I also am learning that the love and support that I want and need does not have to come through family members. Namaste.
Wow, Lori. You’ve summed up my 6 months of self-exploration and learning. Amazing. Thank you so much for writing this up! It’s a great set of reminders for the tough times AND in every day living to remember how to live life fully and authentically. Awesome!
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/05/17/grateful-and-depressed-you-can-be-both/
Thank you Ellie! I have been learning these tools a little at a time (along with a few others) and thought it would be great to actually write them up so I could refer to them when I feel depressed. Then I realized that would probably help some other folks as well.
If your experience in church was that bad thats a shame. You were definitely in the wrong church. Jesus taught a different message. But it sadly sounds like where you went they didn’t get the message at all. Some people make of it what they want to fit their life so they can justify there view. God himself taught me and showed me his truth. I didn’t listen to much to what man said. I was seeking His truth. Forgiveness is the way to forgiveness from wrong. I didn’t say it was easy but when you learn forgiveness then you have peace within. Next is don’t judge others because we begin to compare ourselves and.begin to look at ourselves as better than others. Love really at the top. If we will love God first, love others before ourselves, and love ourselves third. Then all other things will line up in our lives.
good to have read the life that went through u n the life u have planned to all.
Thanks @disqus_xivefRq5OS:disqus for these lovely ways to get away from depression!
All the best Lori! This helped me 🙂 Lots of love.
Where credit is owed credit is due 🙂 I think you have made every soul feel like a million bucks after reading your article. Thank you so very much! It really does give some comfort that others can relate. I look forward to reading more of your publications! <3
Really important reading for people suffering from depression. Learning to like yourself is really difficult but I think you have given us some really useful tips there. Thanks Lori
I struggle with depression at times, and I found your post very inspiring, uplifting, and comforting. These are all really powerful suggestions. Thank you so much for taking the time to share what you have learned. I wish you love and light on your journey. 🙂
And I look forward to writing more for readers like you!
You are welcome Fiona and thank you for your praise. You post brought a big smile to my face. Love and light back at you!
You’re welcome Benet and thank you for taking the time to give me your feedback on my article. May we call upon our collective strength when we need it and know that we are never alone.
Thank you for letting me know that this article helped you Animesh. I send you love as well.