Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway. They are:
- KimCanDoIt
- Shonda Scarborough
- The Sunrise Project
- Emily Meerstra
When I first saw the title of Karen Maezen Miller’s book, Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life, I wondered how many people might feel hesitant to define their lives that way.
Most of us don’t want to be ordinary. We want to be special. We want to live bold, extraordinary lives punctuated by moments of passion, excitement, and adventure.
We want to fill our days with people, things, and activities that make us feel vibrant, and outsource the rest to someone else, someone paid to handle the mundane.
We want to take all the uncertainty that life entails—all the potential for loss and sadness and the truth of our mortality—and offset it with undeniable achievement.
We want to discover something, uncover something, build something, invent something, found something, prove something—be something. We want to be extraordinary. We want to be great, or at least moving in that direction.
We want our lives to matter.
If you’re a practicing Buddhist, you probably noticed a lot of ego in this introduction, though with compassion and minimal judgment. But I’m guessing the average reader for Hand Wash Cold is not a Buddhist.
The average reader is someone who has spent their life reaching for happiness beyond this moment, in adventures, dreams, hopes, and people—that elusive joy that exists out there. In marriage. In the American dream. In a windfall or lottery win.
Someone who might instinctively disbelieve it’s possible to “fall in love with life you already have,” as written on the back of the book, but is willing to suspend disbelief through 181 pages for the possibility of an answer.
Ultimately, that’s what we’re all seeking: a concrete guideline for what we should do to experience the type of happiness we’ve been planning for.
Karen Maezen Miller doesn’t give us any answers we can’t see, feel, and experience ourselves. That, to me, is the best possible care instruction because life truly is wherever you are.
Standing in the kitchen washing dishes. Folding laundry while your four-year old breaks the sound barrier with her rendition of The Song That Doesn’t End. Removing weeds from a garden that may or may not be fruitful.
Or maybe that’s not really your life. Maybe you don’t actually hand wash anything on your own except occasionally a piece of fruit.
Still, life takes place in typing, the Skype messages, emails, and business plans. Life isn’t what happens after you send them. Life is the actual typing. The way you fill your moment at any given time defines your life in that moment.
Life, by nature, is ordinary. It’s because of our resistance to that word that it often slips away.
Karen Maezen Miller doesn’t write about her journey navigating a foreign country while filming a documentary, or her experience running a billion dollar Fortune 500 company, or her extraordinary life as an heiress, actress, singer, model, athlete or politician.
She doesn’t write about a life all of us wish we had.
Karen Maezen Miller writes about the satisfaction we can experience when we consider that maybe right now is a good time to be happy. That maybe we’re enough, that this is enough.
Or as I quoted recently on the Tiny Buddha Twitter stream:
“Happiness is simple. Everything we do to find it is complicated.”
Now to address the elephant in the room: Karen Maezen Miller does live a life most would call extraordinary.
In addition to being “an errant wife, delinquent mother, reluctant dog walker, expert laundress and stationmaster of the full catastrophe” as summarized on her site, Karen Maezen Miller is a Zen priest, published author, and public speaker.
The irony is that she became extraordinary for accepting the ordinary and sharing it.
But what interests me about this is not the irony; it’s that I’m certain after reading her book she can only appreciate that success for having learned to accept the moment. Its impermanence. Its existence beyond the stories we create about it. Its lack of meaning beyond the meaning we give it. Its messiness. Its potential for inconvenience. And yet in all of that, it’s splendor.
I wasn’t sure I’d enjoy this book. I thought it might be preachy or that I might find it difficult to relate to the author—and remember, I’m Zen adjacent. I was wrong on both parts. Karen Maezen Miller shares her experiences, both flattering and unflattering, with honesty and poignancy.
She turns herself inside out to reveal her vulnerability, her ego, her humanity—everything you might assume doesn’t exist underneath the trappings of priesthood. It’s all there. The struggles, the disappointments, the bad memories, the losses, everything that makes it tempting to pull our attention from now and displace it to somewhere, anywhere else.
She is unfailingly generous in sharing her own journey to right here and now. My copy of Hand Wash Cold is underlined, earmarked, and well worn. I daresay it’s an extraordinary book.
To win a copy of Hand Wash Cold:
1. Comment below.
2. For an extra entry, tweet:
RT @tinybuddha Book Review & Giveaway: Hand Wash Cold http://bit.ly/dvKN7u
You can enter until midnight on Sunday, September 12th. I will choose four winners using Randomizer and announce them on Monday, September 13th. One of those winners will receive an autographed copy. Thank you Karen Maezen Miller!
FTC Disclosure: I receive complimentary books for reviews and interviews on tinybuddha.com, but I am not compensated for writing or obligated to write anything specific. I am an Amazon affiliate, meaning I earn a percentage of all books purchased through the links I provide on this site.

About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Sounds like an amazing book! I’d love to win a copy! 🙂
This sounds like the kind of book that’ll cleanse you of any bad preconceptions. Something that’ll maybe change your perspective just a little, but leave a huge mark on the way you continue to live your life. I’d love to get my hands on a copy 🙂
Ben
this sounds really interesting! awesome review too.
I could really use a book like this in my life right now because I know for certain that I don’t currently place enough value (if any) in the ordinary.
I would LOVE a copy 🙂
Sounds like a great book! I’d love a copy!
I’m one of those who are reaching out for something just beyond my fingertips. This book sounds like a concrete way to create abundance instead of tired muscles. Your review was excellent, I would love to win a copy of this book!
You have piqued my interest in this book and I too have had difficulty finding joy right where I am, but I’m learning.
this is something I’ve been working on for the past year. Really noticing and appreciating the things that I love in my life right now. In the past I always looked to past boyfriends, other places to live, other people’s lives and what they were doing and felt that I was lacking. Everyone else seemed to be having more fun and leading “better” lives than me. When I did enjoy I felt I had to apologize or explain away my good fortune. Now I consciously try to appreciate what I have and to really live. Life isn’t about the big moments. It’s all the tiny ones you have getting to the big moments that make up your life.
I would REALLY LOVE a copy of this book. I have been trying so hard to turn around my negative mind and think more happy and simple thoughts about life. I read your site EVERYDAY and I am also a Fan on FB……. <3
I think I would really progress with a book like this. Tinybuddha has been such an inspiration to me and has really changed my life. I think this book would help me progress to be exactly where I want to be. In the here and now without worrying about what I don’t have.
After having a major surgery this summer, my life has been changed forever. Impermance is something you realize truly exists. Now that i have health back, I realize I must live in the now, appreciate what I have now, not what I may have in the future, but how I can change my life now. I may weep at the drop of a hat now, as I experience things i never have before, but a few tears on the page of understanding the beauty of life, seems like a pretty nice exchange for never understanding the small and large marvel of life until now!! Looking forward to reading this book and learning more about changing my life for the better.
Really enjoyed the review – I’d definitely like to read this 🙂
I tweeted:
http://twitter.com/aikchien/status/23252749115
I’d love to enter!
aikychien at yahoo dot com
This site has really helped me transition from my old life into my new one. I had been planted in simplistic living, and buddhism my entire life, but after moving and starting a new job that I dislike, I lost touch with MY reality.
After a much deserved vacation, I undid three years of uprooting and replanted myself. I am on a never-ending search for inspiration, TINYBUDDHA, TOLLE, and others have really held a large role in this rebirth.
I repost the daily emails on Facebook and have recruited many new followers, since you have inspired them too. Thank you for a wonderful blog and thank you for helping me along my path.
I can’t believe how much I got just from the book review – writing this comment is my life right now! Next part of my life – ordering the book. Thanks for an amazing review.
*happiness is simple… everything we do to find it is complicated…*
Love your site – the book sounds great – hoping I’ll win but enjoying the typing.
I’m very interested in getting my hands on this book. If I don’t win it, I’ll be sure to track it down. Thanks for sharing the review.
Hello!! I discovered Tinybuddha.com this spring. Someone that I was following was following Tinybuddha. I checked it out and have been a loyal follower ever since. I fact the best part of my day is when I receive the daily email in my inbox at work! I just know that what I’ll be reading is going to lift me and get me through my day. Thanks so much for what you do! I absolutely love it!
Shonda
When I receive your messages, it is a jolt to my senses and helps me to wake up, again and again.
thank you!!
Brenda
A Zen priest I am far from, I have only just begun my journey to introduce Zen in to my life. What I do have in common with the writer of the book is that my 4 year old can’t stop talking and keeps me running all day. My days revolve around doing the dishes, the endless laundry, trying to cook healthy food on a low budget. My almost all male family life is filled with, not only my lively youngest son but also the moodiness and touching awkwardness of two teenage boys. My oldest son is on his own but still very much in my heart. My husband completes the testosterone mix.
I understand that I will, and do find, my happiness right here in this old trailer we live in. It would be very interesting to read about another woman trying to find sparks if happiness in her everyday life.
I love your site! Just discovered it recently, but find it so inspiring for my life!! Thanks for being there, for sharing, and for being an inspiration as a blogger as well!!
I invite you to visit my dharma poetry blog (most of it in Spanish, though!) http://www.tarsicoymarron.blogspot.com
Lilyán
P.S. The books looks fantastic!!
Thanks for the review Lori! It sounds like a really good read
Kudos
This sounds like the answers to the struggles I’ve been having. I’m on the cusp of unemployment and the uncertainty of the future has me grasping for security. This is a good reminder to stay in the moment and to appreciate what I already have 🙂
Nice, would love to win!
I definitely want to read this book! I struggle to go with the flow and find meaning in everyday challenges. I welcome any wisdom to help me stay in the moment and appreciate all that life brings.
The Tiny Buddha has contributed more to my understanding of the “power of now” then any other source.
Just subscribed. Thanks!
msred5@yahoo.com
Just subscribed. Thanks!
msred5@yahoo.com
already subscribed, but I added my name and email anyway– I love freebies! (:
Thanks for the review and recommendation…I can’t wait to pick it up!
I read your blog every morning with my tea… it’s a great way to start the day!
Sounds like a wonderful book. I look forward to reading it. Blessings!
sounds like it would be a good read…need some extra UMPH in my life, this might just do it 🙂
Sounds fascinating!!!
I would love to have a copy of this book! It sounds exactly like what I’ve been hunting for. 🙂
Subscribed and looking forward to many more beautiful reviews and insights. I have always believed that life is made up of ordinary moments that bound together to make it extraordinary!
I love your blog!
This looks like a wonderful book.
This definitely sounds like a book that I would benefit from. I’d love to have a copy.
Thank you for the review. Also, thank you for running this site. I find it very inspiring.
I can’t wait to read this book – I look forward to enjoying it by the fire this fall.
Thank you for the book review. I’m looking forward to reading the book.
WOW! I would like to own this book 🙂 Looks just like what i need!
Subscribed via e-mail
This book sounds great! Thanks for the opportunity.
This book looks like a wonderful read! I’ve been reading a lot about Buddhism and am wanting to incoroprate it more into my everyday life.
ladymink@gmail.com
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