“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” ~H. Jackson Browne
I decided to have a homebirth late in my first pregnancy, well into the third trimester. All through the first six months I flip-flopped back and forth, first buying into the message that hospitals were safe for births and homes were not, and then feeling profoundly certain that the best environment in which to have my baby was at home.
The truth is, before I was pregnant I hadn’t thought much about birth. I started my birthing journey wanting to be in charge of how things went, to stay clear of drugs and medical interventions, and to walk away from the experience changed in a positive way. I figured the place in which this happened was secondary, so a hospital might be just fine.
But many of my friends came home from their hospital births just the opposite; they were traumatized by how the experience was wrenched away from them, and took years building back their confidence and pride around birthing their babies. It was clear to me that I didn’t want a scenario like that.
Along with deciding what I didn’t want, I needed clarity about what I did want, and why I wanted it. I turned my questions inward, closing my ears to the cacophony of indecision, and worked the questions until finally an answer appeared.
I began to see this first birth as a way to step more fully into my power as a woman, and I was hungry for that. I wanted to reconnect to primal wisdom, and to tap into strength I suspected lay beneath the surface but hadn’t ever experienced.
I wanted a birth that was empowering, transformative, and authentically mine. I chose homebirth. I said yes while still not knowing with certainty what it might lie ahead for me; my decision required both clarity and a leap of faith.
Once I made the decision, I felt different in my skin. In standing up for what I now knew I wanted at a very deep level, I walked a bit more upright and spoke with more conviction. Having my baby at home turned out to be the most powerful choice of my life.
The Elements of a Powerful Decision
We make hundreds of decisions every day, and most are no-brainers with low stakes results. Whether we choose A or B is a matter of evaluating risks and weighing benefits. It’s more about preferences, and less about impact.
Not so with powerful decisions. These are the ones that change the course of your life. These are the ones that require us to go way beyond reason and logic, straight into our hearts, and find answers that are truthful, though not necessarily popular or easy.
For me, it wasn’t an easy decision to hire a midwife and have my baby at home. I was raised to believe that only experts knew the “right” answers, that you took the conventional course, and that you followed the rules. Homebirth in the U.S. is not following the rules.
Powerful decisions never lead you down the conventional path. Instead, they provide you an opportunity to honor and advance your values: these decisions are real life enactments of what you stand for and who you are.
Each time we make a powerful decision, we step more fully into our own unique, authentic expression.
Staying the Course
Once I made my own powerful decision, I got loads of external resistance from family, some friends, and even from strangers who thought I was taking unnecessary risks. My response was to place my hand on my belly and stay quiet.
Reconnecting to what guided me to my “yes” helped me deal with the challenges and obstacles the outside world tossed in my path.
But then I began to experience my own inner resistance to my decision, which nearly did me in. These inner voices of dread, uncertainty, doubt, and fear are so convincing and clever; it was a daily struggle to stay my course.
Even with a powerful decision, rooted in integrity and anchored by conviction, there’s a battle to be fought. Be prepared for it!
We need well-stocked arsenals to deal with the internal and external resistance that follows a powerful decision. We can rely on resistance showing up just when we are making forward strides, so it’s in our best interest to fill our arsenals in advance.
What are the most effective weapons? Self-love. Self-confidence. Integrity. Discernment between inner voices that come from fear, and those that deliver messages from the heart.
When you make a bold decision, you will undoubtedly find yourself in the uncomfortable place of not knowing what to do next. This is part of the plan. Uncertainty inspires brilliance, which helps you to get absolutely clear about what you want and why you want it. From there, choices and actions appear, steps are taken, journeys are made.
Receiving the Gift
Powerful decisions are not easy, but making them grants us access to what we most long for—to feel empowered, authentic, and capable of stepping beyond what we believe ourselves to be.
When they arrive, recognize these opportunities for the precious gifts they are and choose to act in alignment with your heart. Feeling more confident in yourself and your ability to choose what’s right for you–that is the greatest gift.
What powerful decisions have you made? What did you learn in the process? How have these decisions changed your life?
Photo by SweetonVeg
About Amy Kessel
Amy Kessel is a Certified Life Coach who helps women create healthy change in their personal and professional lives. Her free eCourse, “Reclaiming Your Brilliance”, provides women with inspiration to jumpstart the change process.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
“Uncertainty inspires brilliance.” — thank you for that.
Love the quote by H. Jackson Browne! Great article too. Hits home today.
Amy- What a fantastic post! The power behind those sort of decisions does a lot toward minimizing the influence of external opinions. And Fear Vs. Love is a wonderful way to tap into the integrity or our choices. I love this. Thank you!
I think I would make the same choice you did if I ever had that opportunity. 😉 Awesome job on staying true to your needs and your heart!!!
My take-away: “Not so with powerful decisions. These are the ones that change the course of your life. These are the ones that require us to go way beyond reason and logic, straight into our hearts, and find answers that are truthful, though not necessarily popular or easy.”
How do we encourage and raise children to be able to make these types of decisions given the amount of resistance as talked about in the post?
I’m in the middle of leaving the church I was raised in. My family is devastated. Like you said, I have to keep reminding myself why I’m doing this. That I believe it’s what’s best for my children, even though it’s fracturing my own relationship with my parents. Powerful decisions are the hardest ones. But if our purpose is strong enough, we can overcome any opposition (or die trying :).
This resonates deeply with me. I recently made a life-changing 500 mile move in order to accept a dream job. While I don’t feel terribly anchored to a particular place, I am in a very serious relationship, and my partner and I had just recently made the (powerful) decision to move in together. Taking the job and leaving behind everything I knew, putting my relationship through long distance, and changing the course of a decision I was so excited about, was absolutely wrenching for me. I’ve had many moments of sheer panic and even regret (or something that resembles regret) – lots of doubt, more than anything else. This was only two months ago, so in some ways I am still reeling with the weight of the decision, particularly because I was given very little time to make it, and before I knew it, my life was completely different. However, this is the foundation of the career I have dreamed of, and I know that I made the right decision, though it continues to bring daily challenges.
What I loved most about this article: the distinction between listening to one’s heart, and listening to fear. The “cacophony of indecision” could not have been said better.
Amy- this is wonderful! I’ve been teaching Empowered Childbirth Classes for years, and I think what you have to say about powerful decisions forming us is right on the money. So often, we give away our power without even knowing we had a choice. Worse, we sometimes let other people make choices for us and ignore our own instincts. I will definitely be sharing this with my class next week. Thank you for sharing!
I have made many “powerful” decisions in my life, and a lot of them turned out to be very wrong. I did not understand why decisions which I made with my intuition and which felt right at the moment could turn out to be so wrong.
It took me years of making my wrong decisions right and learning about myself to realize that the reason my “gut” decisions turned out wrong was because I was not in touch with my gut. I was so unbalanced and removed from my inner self that my “gut” decisions were only “I want” reactions to what was happening.
So, telling somebody to follow their gut feelings might not work at all if they are in denial or in a habit of lying to themselves.
How do you know when it is safe to follow your intuition? For myself I know it when I am genuinely happy and feel peaceful. I feel balanced. I don’t have any secrets, so I don’t have to lie. I have wonderful relationships and wonderful career. I wake up every day happy and grateful to be in this world. I stop few times every day to reflect how grateful I am for the people and things that I have. It has been like that for few years now.
Now, most of my decisions are based on my gut feelings and enrich my life. I feel balanced, grounded and wise.
To get to this point I allowed myself to accept help from people who already had the life I wanted. I followed their guidance until I felt strong enough to stand on my own two feet.
I had to work for it really hard to start with and I had to pay the price for my inner peace and it was really, really worth it.
Whenever you make a decision in life, you have to think ahead and ask yourself. Are you ready to take responsibility for your decisions and accept all possible consequences and outcomes?
Childbirth is a wonderful experience and I understand how you wanted to be empowered in your decisions in every step of birthing. BUT, I work in L&D for some years now, and I would never advice anybody to birth at home, just because you put your health and health of your baby at risk! it only take one time, seconds, minutes, to turn your life up side down and experience a disaster of your empowered decision which will stay with you all your life! Nowadays, hospitals and medical professionals are equipped to help you to have a most precious moment in a most safe environment, without sacrificing your values and desire for unique and authentic experience.
Good topic on making powerful decisions, but bad example! Freedom comes with responsibility!
Put a seat belt when you drive a car! Sometimes, we have to follow the rules!
after making a powerful decision, like you say, need to stick with it – even if the whole world thinks we’ve gone made. as longa s we are sure it is the best decision for us at this momet in time, have faith in our own decisions!