“If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy.” ~Proverb
I grew up on a farm with a father that was a hired hand and a mother that took care of the elderly.
I had six siblings and was the fifth in line. We had little money, but I always felt loved, not deprived. In many ways I was a rich person.
When I was four years old I lived in a two-room house, with two bedrooms built on within the year.
We had no real kitchen (it was just a room), no running water or indoor bathroom, no TV or telephone. (No, I did not grow up with the dinosaurs). We did have electric lights.
What did I learn by growing up in these conditions?
1. I learned to share.
There were four of us girls and we all slept in the same bedroom—two in one bed and two in another (both twin beds). You name it, and we shared.
2. I learned to take good care of what little I had and be grateful.
We each had one pair of shoes, very few clothes, and one toy for Christmas, so we took good care of what little we had and did not take it for granted. For birthdays, there was a cake baked and our present was getting to lick the bowl for the cake and icing.
3. I learned to use my imagination.
With very few toys we had to make your own. We walked on tall tomato cans with strips of rubber attached to hold them on our feet. We played with old tires and five gallon barrels by rolling them on their side. And stilts, we made ourselves.
4. I learned to eat until I was not hungry any more rather that when I was stuffed.
Food was limited, but balanced. We each got our share because my mother cut it up equally among us. (I never knew you could scoop ice cream out of the carton until I grew up, because my mother always cut a half gallon of ice cream into 10 equal pieces and that 10th piece was cut into 10 more pieces. (My father got the extra piece.)
I have never had a problem with weight, and this is because of the good eating habits and appreciation for the food we had.
5. I learned that it was the people that made a home, not the size of a house.
We may not have had much, but we had each other. We had each other to talk to, play with, and laugh with. (Sometimes to fight with.)
6. I learned to work together.
When you live in a small space you have to work as a team. You learn good working skills and what hard work is.
We earned money by working in the fields for the farmers, helping irrigate when it came to watering the crops, and keeping the four rooms of our house picked up, so there was room to walk.
As I look back on my childhood and the values it fostered, I realize I was a very lucky child. Yes, things are much better and easier now, but I know what to appreciate and what’s important to be happy.
It’s the people you share your life with—the memories you build and laughter you share.
Things are not what make you happy. It’s living in the moment and living everyday with love in your heart.
I only buy what I need, which controls the clutter. I have food, shelter, and water, air to breathe, and people to love that love me.
I appreciate what I already have to add comfort to my life. I take good care of my furniture, appliances, and the little things that make life more comfortable and easier.
We have the choice to change our life if we want. With hard work and a dream anything is possible. Obstacles can always be overcome. We learn from them and keep moving forward.
True happiness does not come with a price tag. Happiness is something we choose with our own attitude and gratitude.
I look at people today and all the material things they acquire, thinking they are going to find happiness, but happiness cannot be bought.
It’s in our attitude. The love in our heart. The people we know and love. The memories life brings.
When death is knocking at our door, what will be important is the way we loved and the memories we leave for the people left behind. They’re not going to remember the house you lived in or the beautiful things you may have had.
People will remember the laughter they shared with you, the long talks, lessons they may have learned from you, and most important, the love that was shared.
In the end it is who we were, how we touched other’s lives, and the love we gave and received that is going to count and be remembered.
Are you building those kinds of memories? Are people going to smile and laugh when they think of how you touched their life someday?
Photo by T Sundrup
About Debbie Bills
Debbie Bills is a writer, wife, mother and grandmother. As a single mother of three daughters she overcame many obstacles placed before her. Now she is sharing and helping other mothers in her new blog How Not To Raise a Serial Killer.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Imagination is the most important part in the path to success. Imagination leads to risks. For taking risks you have to be fearless. For Imagination is the Main Key to open the doors that lead to success.
http://www.theinternallight.com
Beautiful, Debbie, thank you for sharing your story!
What you said about not gaining weight because of “good eating habits and appreciation for the food we had” completely undermines the weight gain people experience due to genetics, mental disorders, or other sicknesses. There is such a thing in the world as fat people who have good eating habits, there’s not only one cause here. Also remember that in these modern times, people who live with little money as you did will not be able to form these so-called good eating habits because good food is not affordable and if you’re on food stamps you can only afford junk. Good article, but I’m so sick of everyone assuming that fatness is directly linked to a lack of responsibility and caring.
Awesome!! Thanks
Beautiful
Wonderful post! Thank you!
I have to agree with Faith. Overall, this is a great article, but I was taken aback by the statement that being raised poor lends one to good eating habits and could be a reason for not having weight issues. In fact, working poor in the U.S. are more likely to be obese, and this is often attributed to poor food options and other health problems. My husband, the child of immigrants who fled a worn-torn country, learned habits I believe may be more common in a limited food home. He was taught that food is scarce, and that all food must be consumed, always. He eats things that many first-world people consider inedible (shrimp tails, cartilage from bones), and is actually stressed when there is any unconsumed food left on the table (not just on his plate). I have had to “retrain him” so that he does not consume all of the food on the table, and remind him that it can be packaged as leftovers.
Why does someone speaking of their own experiences have to undermine someone else’s problems?
All she said was, she didn’t have a weight problem because she didn’t over eat. That was a fact.
How does that undermine anything? I mean if I said I am not in debt because I wasn’t careless somehow undermine someone who is in debt because of medical reasons? You are being overly sensitive person.
I agree. When someone looks for something objectionable, they always find it.
A good story. Living with less not only teaches appreciation but resourcefulness. Making do with little sparks the imagination. You were lucky indeed as you were taught valuable skills for life, and you had many loved ones around you. We should all be that lucky.
I don’t read articles with the intention of finding an argument against them. I knew that posting my opinion would probably get negative feedback, but just the way it was worded really threw me off (specifically that the word weight was used instead of health, I dislike when the two are used interchangeably because less weight does not equal greater health and vice versa) and I wanted to add another perspective. I realize I was a little mad when I wrote the comment and should have waited when I was a little more clearheaded. I just keep noticing direct/indirect references of obesity being linked to being irresponsible or lazy when it’s just not the case. I realize the author wasn’t trying to attack this population, but it’s also something that needs to be thought about, hence the comment.
I wasn’t attacking the author’s own experience: I think the points she made about growing up with less leading to a greater appreciation of things and experiences when she was older were really great, but when it concerns food and weight, is just not applicable today. Before the food system radically changed during the 50s, being overweight was mostly attributed to being wealthy and having an excess of food. Now however, with the presence of massive food corporations, food subsidies, etc. it is actually those experiencing poverty (in the US anyways) who are most likely to be experiencing weight and/or health problems from their diet. Then there’s also those who can attribute it to genetics etc. like I mentioned above. I’m trying to offer a different perspective here that I think is largely not thought about. Yes, I am sensitive when it comes to these issues because these are not ‘someone else’s problems’ they are gravely important problems within our society/current system that people should be paying more attention to, especially in reference to our government’s treatment of the food system and poverty. We can’t continue to blame health problems solely on individuals when in most cases is based on a system-wide problem.
Anyways, I figured I should reply to you, but I don’t want this whole thread to turn into a conversation about food/health/poverty because that’s not what the above article is about. My purpose was to offer an additional perspective that hopefully people read and think about.
It seems to me more like you have a pet issue that you are very sensitive about than there being anything actually offensive about what he said. Like you resent anyone that ever implies a person has any power over their weight at all no matter what the context.
You have some good points about the weight issue but this is definitely the wrong place.
What you said about learning to clean the plate when you are poorer seems to be true in my experience also, but it is also true that you may also tend to not eat until you are full because there isn’t enough food for that. The guy who wrote this article said that it taught him to eat less, that’s his personal experience. Your husband learned the opposite from poverty, that’s your husband’s personal experience. Why on earth would you be taken aback about someone talking about what happened to them personally? How can someone be wrong if they are simply describing what happened to them?
Lovely article! You sound like you are living a happy and blessed life.
Great entry, and your blog sounds fun! Well done 🙂
i grew up poor but with a family that I love but couldn’t take care of us because my mom and dad were both disabled and could not work. they had 6 children and two of them died at birth and then my older sister, me, my brother (who was taken away at birth and my younger sister. my dad was mentally ill and physically disabled and my mom had polio and so we grew up on welfare, people made fun of my dad and mocked the way my mom walked, made fun of us because my mom is Native American and Spanish and my dad is white. made fun of our clothes our last name and that we had to use food stamps… i did not get to live with my parents for many years… so what did i learn… i learned shame and embarassment… that people were cruel that included relatives… not many people would invite us to family get reunion… that people will make fun of you and when you stand up they will make even more fun of you because you don’t know how to be mean like them…. it will have of feeling that you are not good enough that you are unlovable… and you will PROMISE yourself to never be like them to never make fun of anyone, to never be mean to anyone, to accept and respect the feelings of all people…. it was a confusing time a sad time for many many years… my parents are gone now… for many years but I loved them so much… it was the best of times and the worst of times… I was always sad and angry and I was always wanting to be someone else. But being poor was not as bad as how people treated us… I didn’t want to be part of that kind of treatment that I saw how people treated the poor, the people who were of different nationalities, and people who were mentally and physically disabled. I saw the worst of the worst and the sad part is I still see it today 50 some years later. But I am not that way and never will be… because that is what being poor, being unloved, being treated badly does to a human being it makes you sad and it makes you angry… for me it made me kind to everyone… and these are the lessons I learned from being poor. Money does make you a better person, only you can do that for yourself no matter your circumstances. peace
There is nothing wrong with someone describing what happened to them in their experience. I understand that is the author speaking from her own experience. However, the intend of this site and articles is for others to gain from the insights of the authors (or at least that what I have taken from it). My response and comments were that I did not think her eating habits — or her weight health — were a common experience from being poor.
“What you said about not gaining weight because of “good eating habits and appreciation for the food we had” completely undermines the weight gain people experience due to genetics, mental disorders, or other sicknesses. ”
To me, that counts as an attack. The author was just narrating her experience, and you shoehorned in this whole debate about poverty and weight gain. I understand that it maybe a sensitive issue to you, and you could have just offered a different point of view – except you didn’t just do that.
Also, speaking from personal experience, its really not that hard to eat healthy on tight budget. As long as rice and beans are affordable, there is no reason to ever eat at McDonalds 🙂
Some people just have to bring their agenda into every conversation. .
Your comment is very dismissive. I find that very odd for a site that is supposed to be accepting of different people, different perspectives. What is the point of the comments section if not to add new perspectives to the article? Rah-rah comments are nice — we all love them on our own posts — but substantive conversations can make an article really impactful. It can provide a further level of discussion and thought on the ideas that the author brought up. I’m not dismissing the author’s ideas. I’m offering other perspectives.
We weren’t poor by any means, although my Father worked 2 jobs always to support us. Came from a family of 15 and all of these attributes are what I take away from my experience. My Mother and Father just celebrated their 51st Wedding Anniversary.
You are right Manoji. Imagination can lead the way to success in
many ways. It does make you fearless and willing to try new things. It
opens doors and when you find one door closing you know that there is
another door that is going to open.
Thank you for sharing your thought.
Debbie
Thank you Shravan. I do appreciate the beautiful.
Debbie
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so proud of you. You learned not to treat others badly. Do you realize that you are way ahead of all the people that hurt you. They are probably still hurting others and not leading a very happy life.
Now I do remember lying to my teachers when we would get back from Christmas break and they would go around the class asking everyone what they got for Christmas. I would always list 3 or 4 things instead of just the one little thing i received.
Maybe because I lived on a country and on a farm the people are different. Though I do think my mother was very good at hiding just how poor we were. She always make sure we were bathe and clean. And our one pair of shoes was polished.
Blessing to you and again YOU ARE GOOD PERSON because of what others did to you. You are a survivor.
Debbie
Hi Faith,
Sorry that you took me wrong when it comes to the weight. I did have s sister that when she grew up had to watch her weight. What I learned is not to eat until you were full, but until you were not hungry anymore.
My husband has a weight problem and when I watch him eat, I can understand it. When he was a kid he was taught and made to always clean up his plate. (One of the worst things you can do for a child.) He also eats until he his full, not until he is know longer hungry.
As for eating the right foods. We ate meat, potatoes and a vegetable (and the vegetables were canned unless it was garden season). We didn’t have many fruits. That was a treat for us.
I do agree with you that what they call eating right can be expensive. I was a single mother for many years and me girls mainly ate the cheaper food. I did teach them to only eat until they were not hungry anymore.
Again i am sorry if you took me wrong. I didn’t mean to put anyone down, because I do know that we are all different and special in our own way.
Thank you Faith for giving me a chance to explain.
Debbie
Thanks Patch for the thumbs up. I was not trying to undermine someone else’s problem. Tell you a secret though. I have to watch my weight in the fact that when i get busy i can forget to eat. Then I have to work hard to put some weight back on. I believe that does come from not having a lot of food. You just kind of get use to not eating much. Which we all know can be as unhealthily as eating to much.
I like the way you used a medical reason for being in debt. thanks again and have a good day.
Debbie
When we are sensitive about something it mean we are hurting. This is what i have found when it comes being objectionable. Have a good day Valerie and thank you.
Debbie
Given your upbringing, I don’t think it would be possible for you to intentionally undermine someone. You had very humble beginnings, and that makes you appreciate life more than other who had things handed down to them.
Of course, those looking to get offended would always find a way to do so.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with offering a different perspective. In fact, more often than not, that’s a good thing.
Like I said to the other person, you are cherry picking for things to get offended at. No where in the article did the author say anything about poverty leading to good eating habits. All she said was, her family didn’t have a lot of money growing up, and therefore, she didn’t overeat.
You decided to interpret it that way, there by arguing your own agenda.
Yes you were right Faith. I was not even thinking about obesity, but I can see how some may take me wrong. After all that is what the world has come too. We have turned into a race of judging other by the outside not what is inside. Hope you can forgive me if i offended you.
Debbie
Faith has a point, but I do realize being a write everyone is not always going to agree with what you say and sometimes even how you say it. That is ok she is making a good learning experience for me.
Debbie
You are right Faith. The problem that I have when it comes to society these days is that someone lacks something to do so they fall into the research field and all the sudden they have the answer for everyone. Whether you are eating to much, smoking to much or drinking to much it is most likely not good for you. Everyone has the right to make there own choices they just need to remember they are the one that pays the price for that choice.
I have found it rather interesting the turn my post as taken with the comments.
Thank you,
Debbie
I have found that banana’s are about the cheapest thing you can every buy and they are real good for you. yes, Patches you can still eat sensible on a low budget. I did it with my girls back in the day.
Debbie
Hi Valerie,
Yes i do feel like I was very lucky and blessed. i will always be grateful. I see these parents now days giving there children everything they want and my heart hurts for them. They are not doing the kids a favor.
Thanks,
Debbie
you are very welcome Sarah. H ave a good weekend.
Debbie
You also are welcome KP. And you have a good weekend also.
Debbie
you are welcome Tana. I hope you are having a beautiful life and find every day a wonderful blessing.
Debbie
Hi kt,
The lack of food can affect people in different ways. I do believe it does come down to the parenting. How they teach there children good or bad habits about eating. yes I can see where your husband is coming from. I also remember that when I was kid there were some things that i just could not eat and i would go hungry before i would eat them. (However my mother would fry me an egg when this happened.) I was grateful for that egg. If i had eaten what she made it might have just come right back up for do overs. LOL
it is up to us as adult to break some of the habits that are not so good when we are grown.
Keep reminding hubby that leftover can make a good lunch or second meal.
thank for sharing,
Debbie
Thank you Traveller. Yes, i was just telling my story and what i learned from it.
Thanks again,
Debbie
Guess everyone does deserve a voice. Things could be pretty boring otherwise is the way I look at it, Patches.
Thanks for responding.
Debbie
And i am enjoying this kt. thank you with a smile.
Debbie
From my experience it did make me who i am alone with the eating habits. Hope that isn’t a OOPS?
Debbie
Good for your parents. Wow 15 how did they come up with names for all of you? Big families are fun. But we always have to remember we are all different. That were the unconditional love comes in big time!!
Thanks for sharing
Debbie
Thanks Alexey. Yes, the blog is rather new, but we are hoping to have lots of fun. Just hop on over.
have a great day,
Debbie
Yes, Traveller I am living a great life. It is full and i am blessed. Coming from a large family, having 3 daughter and now 8 grandkids. Life couldn’t get any better.
Will maybe sometimes, LOL
Thank,
Debbie
I agree. I think my husband got the “survival skills” version of parenting. Considering his parents’ background, it is no surprise that they stressed the importance of not wasting food. We heard stories of friends and relatives who were not able to escape, and lived for years on yams and little else. He never was given the option to turn down food, and even spoke of some embarrassing items that appeared in his lunch box (seaweed, dried seafood). After we first got married, my husband gained a bit of weight because he would always eat whatever food was left on my plate (I thought I was being nice to let him have it if he wanted it — he always did). I realized after about year or so of this, that I had to let him know that he could not have my food, even if that meant it was going to be thrown away.
You are right Debbie, I understand how obesity is a sensitive subject and I completely get where she is coming from even though I thought she misinterpreted what you said.
“people will make fun of you and when you stand up they will make even more fun of you because you don’t know how to be mean like them”
I get you so much on this one.
I’m glad that your experiences turned you into a wonderful human being, so that we have more decency in the world to outweigh the negativity. I feel that you are a great blessing to the world and I’m glad that you are here.
Yes she did misinterprete what I was saying. When i wrote it i wasn’t thinking about the weight problem that others might have. More the appreciation for food and what we do have. It is interesting how other interprete what we can write. i have learned something.
Have a good weekend Traveller,
Debbie