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35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful

Beautiful

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” ~Sophia Loren

Even though I got Joey McIntyre from The New Kids on the Block to sign my scoliosis back brace in the sixth grade, I still felt ugly wearing it.

I didn’t realize the irony back then, but in retrospect it seems a little funny that I grew crooked considering I convinced myself I was wilting in my sister’s shadow. (I also had braces and headgear, but that’s another story.)

I was a kid who wanted to be beautiful, but more desperately wanted to feel loved. My self-esteem increased through the years, but I never quite shook the sneaking suspicion I’d never be beautiful enough. Or maybe lovable enough.

It would be easy to blame it all on society and the Kate Moss era of modeling, but I think it’s more than that. I just never learned to notice and appreciate all the beautiful things about myself. The stuff that had nothing to do with my waistline, skin tone, or eye lashes and everything to do with who I am.

I never learned to give myself the credit for all the good I do in the world. I was too busy cataloging my weaknesses, mistakes, and flaws to recognize it.

It seems like such a cliché to say that pretty is as pretty does, but the truth is, physical beauty is subjective. And even if someone perfectly matches your ideal of physical perfection, their looks will eventually fade. What endure are the qualities, passions, and habits we nurture.

That’s what makes us beautiful—and believe me when I say there is something beautiful in everyone. If you’ve done any of the following lately, you are absolutely beautiful:

1. Smile. As the quote goes, “I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.”

2. Be there for someone who needs you even if there’s nothing in it for you—give without expectations.

3. Make a sacrifice for someone you love.

4. Admit a mistake, even if it’s hard to say you’re wrong, and work to make amends.

5. Share your struggles, putting your ego aside, to make someone else feel less alone.

6. Create something that helps people. A song, a blog, a support group, a non-profit—anything that inspires.

7. Help a child feel good about him or herself.

8. Tell someone what you appreciate about them, even if you feel vulnerable.

9. Forgive someone without needing to hear the words, “I’m sorry.”

10. Create positive energy around you by thinking positive thoughts and acting with positive intentions.

11. Sit with reality without judging anyone or anything.

12. Accept someone for who they are instead of trying to change them to who you want them to be.

13. Treat people as they want to be treated.

14. Notice something simple but beautiful in the world around you.

15. Acknowledge the beauty in others instead of feeling threatened or competing with other people.

16. Be the change you want to see in the world, as per Gandhi’s suggestion.

17. Tap into your personal power and do something that makes a difference in the world.

18. Find strength in a challenging moment. It’s not easy to do, and you deserve credit for it.

19. Talk kindly about the world around you instead of gossiping or complaining.

20. Forget yourself for a minute and do nothing but listen to someone who needs it.

21. Measure a person by their best moments, not their worst.

22. Give yourself the same courtesy—focus on the good you’ve done, not the mistakes you’ve made.

23. Take the high road when someone hurts you instead if being cruel or catty.

24. Make someone laugh. A smile can literally melt stress and pain away. How beautiful of you to do that for someone else!

25. Make someone cry—tears of joy that is. People want to feel moved, inspired, motivated. Never underestimate the power of touching someone’s heart.

26. Keep an open mind instead of sticking with a judgment or assumption.

27. Love what you’re tempted to fear.

28. Be the voice of optimism when the people around you need it badly.

29. Show humility when your accomplishments would make it easy to stand above people.

30. Handle rejection or failure with grace. It’s far more easily said than done—and it sounds so cheesy and cliche—but accepting loss gracefully makes you a true winner.

31. Show unbridled enthusiasm for something that excites you. All children are beautiful, and I think their unadulterated joy has a lot to do with it.

32. Hear what someone means, not just what they say. Anyone can nitpick. Not everyone actively works to be understanding.

33. Imagine a world where people know peace, and do one small thing to create it.

34. Honor the values that matter to you. Showing integrity is the first step to feeling good about yourself.

35. Accept and love yourself, just as you are in this moment.

And now a disclaimer: some days you may not do anything written above—in fact, you might do the exact opposite. On those days you are still beautiful.

There are times when, like Alexander, I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Times when it seems like I might get swept into the tornado of chaos around me. Times when the voice in my head is unkind, and I interpret everything that happens through a negative filter. When I think the worst of people and complain about it; when I expect the worst of my day and lament it.

This admission might seem like the biggest possible acknowledgment of hypocrisy, but I have nothing to give if not my honesty. And the reality is I am imperfect. We all are. We all have moments of weakness—but they’ll only define us if they far surpass moments of kindness, compassion, love, and strength.

Being beautiful doesn’t mean adhering to some picture-perfect fantasy, or living every moment that way. It means realizing this moment is a new opportunity to be who you want to be, and making the effort to seize it.

How will you be beautiful today?

Photo here. This was originally published in 2011.

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.

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[…] As today’s blog post highlights, pretty is as pretty does. The best way to be beautiful is to practice it. If you’re not sure how to do beauty in the world today try one of these 35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful. […]

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Brittany Turner

Thanks Lori. This is a beautiful blog and so very true.

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sandra Bradshaw, kurio's resource. kurio's resource said: 35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful http://dlvr.it/1Qqjk […]

Ben Reyna

I love this. Its little things like these that make everyone life so much better. Thanks again for showing how beautiful we all have the potential to be.

Nick Kirkes

Great tips, Lori. I think your disclaimer that beauty exists even when one doesn't feel so is incredibly important.

Marie

Thank you for sharing these thoughts . . . after reading this, it was easy to give myself credit for having a beautiful spirit!

– Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)

[…] Link original  : 35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful […]

[…] not alone. Happily, there is a more positive ending to this post. The funk is lifting. Courtesy of this website and two quotes in […]

Maja

Beautiful post! Thank you…

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~Kahlil Gibran

axel g

That was a truly heartwarming post!

“I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful”

How true +_+

[…] How will you be beautiful today? via tinybuddha.com […]

Lori Deschene

Thank you for the comments everyone. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hope you had a beautiful weekend =)

[…] 33 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful […]

Amara

Thank you..i love this blog and everytime i read it..it makes my day!

Uzma

WOW. this is so beautiful. Its a list of a creating a beautiful soul. Am going to share with all my friends. Thank u .

Tree_Spirit

Wow great post tinybuhhda..<3<3..I really love this blog and wisdom i get from it!!

Hannah Uzelac

Retweeted this.. such a great message. Thanks =)

JeffC050309

re-tweeted this – what a simple and fantastic message wrapped into one.

Nikhil

Thanks a lot.Really inspiring.

Fail Post

Sorry but major FAIL! you can do any of that nonsense it still won't make you beautiful let alone remotely pretty. I mean will it give you a nose job? will it color your eyelids? will it straighten your teeth? Will it slim your waist? No. So MAJOR FAIL. It might be a valid post in another category. idk how to make ugly insecure people feel better about themselves and forget about being loved and beautiful. Let's face it if you live in USA and you're ugly, you fail at being loved and in business. That's why there's plastic surgery. use it.
oh and thanks for the sob story at the beginning. Consider CHANGING YOUR NAME from tinybuddha to BIG FAT BORE!

Stella

I really enjoyed these tips ~ thank you for always posting such wonderful messages… they really remind all of us that our happiness really is in our own hands!! It's also great to know special ways to spread the happiness to others as well!!

shirley malla

I follow you on Twitter(not Facebook ) as in last comment. Will be watching for you regularly

shirley malla

I discovered Tiny Buddha just a few days ago and now I am following you on Facebook. Your messages are wonderful and so full of insight.

Lori Deschene

Hi Shirley. Welcome to the Tiny Buddha family =) There are some amazing people reading and chatting on Facebook. I'm happy that you've joined in the fun!

Lori Deschene

You're most welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed this post. Nothing makes me happier than writing here. =)

[…] Here is a list of 35 simple ways to feel beautiful. […]

Piacguerrero

Would love to cross post this on our site: http://www.adiosbarbie.com. We would definitely link back to your site and give you and the site credit. We are a non-profit site whose mission is to promote healthy and powerful self and body image for folks of all races, sizes, ages and abilities. – Pia (Founder and Editor) Email me: teamadiosbarbieatgmail.com
🙂

[…] may not even realize all the different ways you’re beautiful, but you are. Smile and enjoy the […]

[…] always say beauty is on the inside and I agree. In fact, I wrote about this in a blog post called 35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful. But I’ve noticed it’s a series of physical and abstract things that make me feel […]

Fail Post

Sorry but major FAIL! you can do any of that nonsense it still won’t make you beautiful let alone remotely pretty. I mean will it give you a nose job? will it color your eyelids? will it straighten your teeth? Will it slim your waist? No. So MAJOR FAIL. It might be a valid post in another category. idk how to make ugly insecure people feel better about themselves and forget about being loved and beautiful. Let’s face it if you live in USA and you’re ugly, you fail at being loved and in business. That’s why there’s plastic surgery. use it.
oh and thanks for the sob story at the beginning. Consider CHANGING YOUR NAME from tinybuddha to BIG FAT BORE!

[…] The beauty of it. No matter how bad things get, there is always something beautiful to keep us going forward. (Noel […]

[…] 35 Simple Ways to be Beautiful […]

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Lisa Marie11

I love this!!!!! Really beautiful!

Rachel

Wow. That is truly amazing and I know it will stick with me forever. I will never again relook the meaning of beauty. It’s great that you have written these posts, Lori. I have showed this to many of my friends and they’ve all been inspired by your words. I think you have just changed my life. 🙂

Lori Deschene

Wow that’s awesome Rachel! I’m so glad this post affected you in such a positive way.

Lindyv321

Thank you

Joyelle Brandt

I love this! It is such a good reminder that we can all use. I am always looking for new sources of inspiration, and your site is going on my list!

Lori Deschene

Fantastic! I’m so glad you enjoy Tiny Buddha =)

[…] Love: Be Beautiful October 2, 2010 by Leigh 35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful by Tiny Buddha tugged at my heartstrings. I thought I’d share some of my favorite suggestions […]

[…] when you think of a beautiful person, it really starts on the inside. Lori Deschene gives us 35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful, none of which have anything to do with me buying another shirt at Forever […]

[…] 35 Simple Ways to be Beautiful from TinyBudda […]

rashmi thapa

i really enjoyed your tips that really makes me feel all are beautiful and so is our world…thank you for ur messages dear lori deschene.

Sicarmen_ito

I love this post. Can I share this to my blog and direct them to your website?

Shanni127

I was an “ugly duckling” as a kid/teenager, and all I wanted was to fit in. But at 5’9″ in the 7th grade, I stood out like a sore thumb, literally. Not to mention the lack of hips, boobs, headgear (indeed, I had it, too!) bad perm, acne…oh, my!
But I became grateful for these “defects” once I matured a bit. It taught me how to be beautiful in the true sense, and now that I am approaching 40 and battling the dreaded “middle age spread”along with other physical maladies, I miss and honor that young girl. As I reflect on my life, I have true gratitude for my life, and the beauty that I experience, in every sense of the word, as I live in today. Thank you for writing “my” story.

Lori Deschene

Hi Shanni,

What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing your experience!

Lori

guest

that was lovely, thank you 🙂