3 Reasons to Stop Worrying About Your Negative Thoughts

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Negative Thoughts

“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Do you ever catch yourself being critical, judgmental, or full of fear and worry? And do you ever worry about how many negative thoughts you have? If you do, this post is for you.

We’re taught that negative thoughts are bad, that they’re “toxic,” they “lower your vibration,” keep you stuck, and so on.

We’re taught that in order to feel self-assured and confident, we should banish negative thoughts from our lives. Kind of like, goodbye, negative thoughts; hello, higher vibration, better boyfriend, nicer car, inner peace, and so on.

So what do you do with all that negative junk in your head? How do you make it stop? And is trying to jam a positive thought over a negative one really the best way to manage the situation?

The reason I’m thinking about this today is that it’s 7:30am and for the past three hours I’ve been watching Mad Men. Yep. Instead of setting myself up for the day with a restful sleep, I’ve been watching T.V. for half the night.

To be fair, it’s an unusual thing for me to do, but still, you should hear the rubbish my mind is telling me:

You’re such a lazy little missy.

You’re going to have a bad day.

You’re not going to get anywhere like this.

Yikes.

People often advise you to trade a negative thought for a positive one using techniques like affirmations. Quick, quell those negative thoughts! But is this really the best way forward?

Most people misunderstand this whole negative thinking debacle because they misunderstand what thoughts are in the first place.

Happiness doesn’t depend on how few negative thoughts you have, but on what you do with the ones you have.

This brings me to the first piece of good news:

1. It’s normal to have negative thoughts.

The human mind thinks about a squillion thoughts every day, and on average about a squillion minus a hundred are negative. It’s true. I Googled it.

Most of us are awash with negative thoughts. Even ones that seem positive, like I’m so great because I just got a new car, are really only negative ones in disguise, since they reinforce the belief you weren’t great before you got the new car.

And that’s the good news—negative thoughts are a normal part of human functioning.

This means you don’t have to worry about the fact that you’re having them in the first place. No matter how gnarly they get, it’s all pretty normal.

This brings me to the second piece of good news:

2. You don’t have to believe your negative thoughts!

Nope.

You don’t actually have to believe your thoughts. It’s as simple as that. Sort of. No, it is, but let me explain.

Your mind would like you to believe that all of your thoughts are correct. One of the ways it does this is by having you think that you and it are one. The truth is your mind is just one part of you; it isn’t you.

Being able to separate your thoughts from your sense of self is one of the most useful things you can do. Try this: think of yourself as being made up of four parts.

Mind
Physical body
Heart
Spiritual aspect

This means: You. Are. Not Your. Mind. Your mind is just a tool for you to use.

All of your thoughts and perceptions are filtered through your unique belief system, and it’s this filter that causes negative thoughts. The negativity is in the filter.

When you try to “heal” and “grow,” what you’re trying to do is change the filter; you’re trying to change your belief system. You are the bit underneath your thoughts, and you will never change. You can’t—nor would you want to. You’re perfect.

You don’t have to analyze your nasty, critical thoughts, or worry about them. They’re just thoughts. If you really want to have fewer of them, stop listening to them.

Feeling solidly peaceful and contented occurs when your mind is quiet, or in the moments, no matter how small, when you remember that you don’t have to believe your thoughts.

Or, as I like to say, ”I don’t feel bad; my mind does!”

One thing I find helpful for dealing with a long held critical belief is to treat it like a game.

I think to myself, what if I didn’t believe this, even for a few seconds? The result is always strangely exhilarating. I can actually feel what it’s like to not believe it. (And sometimes it does only last for a few seconds!)

So what about thinking positively—that’s good for me right?

Sure, but the trick is in how you go about it, which is the third piece of good news:

3. You can get positive about negative thoughts.

There’s nothing wrong with choosing to have a positive thought. Just know that the negative thought didn’t matter in the first place. It probably wasn’t true and it doesn’t “mean” things about you.

When you jump on “negative” thoughts and reject them in a knee-jerk way, you’re saying to yourself, “I’m not good enough. If I were good enough, I wouldn’t have had that thought in the first place.”

This is at least as negative as the initial thought.

It may seem a subtle difference, but that tiny step of noticing the thought and not believing it is where the growth lies. And the more you do this, the less “negative thoughts” you have and the easier it is to recognize them when you have them.

People think that “thinking positively” is the way to healing, but the quickest way is to first accept that the only reason you feel bad in the first place is because you’re listening to the rubbish your mind is telling you.

You could try and figure out where your negative thoughts come from—but since they’re just based on faulty beliefs, why not just ignore them?

Learning to ignore the voice inside our head telling us we’re not good enough, not worthy of love, and so on is what we’re here to do. Next time you have a thought that makes you feel uneasy, try this:

Notice your thought, as in: ah, hello, thought. I know you’re not real; you are just a thought. Oh well, you can stay there if you like, but I have things to do today so I’m just going to go ahead and do them.

Then if you want to think a positive thought, go right ahead!

And as for me I’m headed to the kitchen to make porridge after which you’ll probably find me tucked up on the sofa having a nap.

Oh well.

Negative thoughts image via Shutterstock

fears happy mind negative Peace peaceful positive thinking thoughts wisdom worries

Comments

180 responses to “3 Reasons to Stop Worrying About Your Negative Thoughts”

February 21, 2013

Adam Prieto

Thank you so much for this post, Lisa! I find myself inside my head so much throughout the day. I’m often convinced to believe such false ideas since I sometimes look at those ideas with eyes of the past. I’m defiantly going to try and utilize your tips. Thanks again! 🙂
February 21, 2013

Red Janssens

1) excellent post! Its as if the universe dropped this on me at just the right moment for it to be super relevant ans helpful! 🙂 and 2) excellent use of the word “gnarly” haha! Namaste!!
February 21, 2013

KR

I have a question I would love to get others’ feedback on, though. What if we really did something wrong, say, hurt someone, either intentionally or intentionally, and our mind keeps telling us that we did something wrong, are not worthy of love, etc.? For example, I know someone who keeps hurting his family, beats his wife and does not take care of his children. Should he dismiss his negative thoughts, too, even though it looks like he is not conscious of the extent to which he’s causing them to suffer? In this case, do we not need those negative thoughts to get us back on the right track, to change for the better?
February 21, 2013

indu

thanks a lot for ur such a great thought,its actully meant for me………..
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

Thanks Red! Pleased you enjoyed it:)
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

hi KR,

Thanks for your question. It’s a really great one too.

I can see where you’re coming from, however, the example you give is an example of you making a judgment of someone else. My advice would be to reflect on the idea using a ‘negative thought’ about yourself:)

Thanks again,
Lisa
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

My pleasure! I agree, it’s such an easy thing to do. And I love how you put it too – ‘with eyes of the past.’ Thanks again:) Lisa
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

My pleasure. I’m pleased it struck a chord:)
February 21, 2013

Melissa

Thank you. Too often we focus on “OMG!Must get rid of all bad thoughts ever!” and don’t realize that what we should really be doing is not fighting ourselves to get rid of them, but not letting them control us. It is all too easy for the “Must get rid of negative thoughts” to become “I’m a terrible person because I had a negative thought” which is, in itself, a negative thought, and heading into a downward spiral.
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

Exactly!
February 21, 2013

Jay

This helped me tons . Thanks .
February 21, 2013

Susie

I loved this!! Thank you so much – I struggle with doubting my decisions and second guessing myself all the time. I love the simplicity of your suggestions and the light touch you gave.
Thank you so much for your insights and for sharing it!
February 21, 2013

kiw

Thank you so much- this was incredibly helpful, exactly what I needed right now and probably have needed for the past few years. Thank you thank you thank you! Hope you have a wonderful day!
February 21, 2013

PB

I’m surprised there was no mention of meditation in this post. It’s through meditation and mindfulness that we train our awareness to more easily recognize and release these thoughts.
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

And a wonderful day to you too! Thanks so much for your note:)
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Susie,
Great to hear it resonated with you! Thanks so much for your comment:)
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

Excellent! My pleasure:)
February 21, 2013

EIW

Best post I read in a Long Long While.
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Phil,
Thanks for your comment. I agree that practicing meditation and mindfulness can help us notice our thoughts more easily – though they’re not the only ways (I’m also a big fan of being silent and actively ‘doing nothing’). This article didn’t include that side of things because I wanted to make the point as clearly and simply as I could, that “negative thoughts, in and of themselves aren’t bad.” I think this understanding is useful whether we’re ‘meditators’ or not. :))
February 21, 2013

Lisa Esile

🙂 Pleased to hear this resonated with you.
February 21, 2013

Amna

Needed this today 🙂 After a year of ‘healing’ and ‘growing’, I can have some wonderfully clear days where thoughts (both positive and the million negative) can pass by like clouds. That’s when it’s crystal clear that these thoughts don’t actually matter. Then there are other days where ‘oh no, I’m having negative thoughts, I’m not ‘fixed’ yet!’ is the background narrative in my head. I try to go about my day and remember the days and moments when I chose not to believe in my thoughts as a way to remind myself. The good news is that yes it does get better. Or at least you get good at not latching onto the negative talk in the head. Also, the momentum of negative thoughts also reduces somewhat. I’m excited about my present and look forward to my future 🙂
February 21, 2013

dee

I am fairly new to this site. I have read many posts on here none of which resonated with me on the level that your post did. It was truly mesmerising and hit the nail right on its head. I cannot thank you enough. I am so glad you did stay awaked that night and share such indepth, unique and priceless realisations. I will take this to the grave such is the power and simplicity of expression you conveyed. THANK YOU!! and please do share some more, I could do with a daily dose of your work 🙂
February 21, 2013

Iris

THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart. I needed to hear this. 🙂 And you have worded it and put it together so eloquently. Like Amna, after a growth-filled year I am really getting ahead and doing so many great things in life, but there are also so many moments when I forget to love myself and then the negative thoughts can get at me. They hurt me, make me doubt myself and my abilities and throw me into anxiety attacks.
Just lately I realised I’d got deeper into this when I started being disappointed about myself because I think negatively and I let that run away with me. All that, when I had put so much work and learning in love-filled thinking. So this comes at just the right time for me, and in particular your line “It’s normal to have negative thoughts” gave me a real shock. I need to hold the thought in my mind for a bit more because I can’t even get my head around it properly at this moment. You mean it’s not my fault that I can’t suppress them and choose positive over negative thoughts? 😉
All of this is so much about shedding, letting go and simply being. That message is coming to me lately from all kinds of sources. It’s probably time.
Again, thank you so much. 🙂
February 21, 2013

Anthony

What a great way to break down negative thoughts. This theory is similar to ‘The Secret’ portrayed by Greek Philosophy.. I am a veteran currently battling PTSD and after years of trying to figure of how to conquere this on my own I finally gave in to treatment. Unfortunately recommended for ‘medicine’ which I dont agree with taking a chemical to control my thoughts which are starting to work but I pray one day have the strength to get off them! Anyway off my soap box thanks for the wise words Lisa!
February 21, 2013

melhimshaker

I’ve written your words “I don’t feel badly , my mind does ” on a paper and put it where I can always see it , It’s a relief from the talk inside my head.
February 21, 2013

Jorge

Simply awesome. I’m becoming a fan of you.
February 22, 2013

Jean Frances

Thank you! Needed to hear this today as I had a run in with a colleague that undermined me and started a chain of negative thoughts running in my head. Nice to accept them and learn. Peace.
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

Thanks Jorge!
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

How cool. And do you know you’re the second person to tell me you’ve done that. Might have to try it myself! 🙂
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

My pleasure – pleased to hear it was timely!
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Iris, thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. And yes, it’s not your fault you can’t suppress them! They really are a normal part of what the mind does – the part that hurts is when we believe them. Good idea to give yourself time to wrap your head around this new idea:) Best wishes to you!
February 22, 2013

joe

Hey lovely Lisa, what a great post. I just love the simplicity of your writing that somehow slaps me across the head (in a nice way of course) each time I read something of yours. This all makes so much sense and presented in this fashion also makes it easy to digest and actually implement into your daily life. Thanks again for being a fountain of inspiration 🙂
February 22, 2013

saloni

Hello Lisa.

This is what i needed at the moment. I have been not keeping up with health since a very long time which kind of made me very low. I feared that its something huge and thousand more negative thoughts crossed my mind all the time. But after reading this all i can say is i feel much better. Half of the illness i had, now i think was because of my negative approach towards it.It’s strange how words can change your life. You made it possible for me. Can’t thank you enough. God Bless 🙂
February 22, 2013

Sumitha

Love the idea of playing a game with your negative thoughts…. I’m going to try that… Team up the competitive and rational part of my brain against the negative one and let them duke it out while I try to enjoy the present 🙂 Brilliant!

Coincidentally, the bulk of my negative thoughts in the recent past were due to Mad Men! I discovered it on Netflix and went through 3 seasons during two weekends! I normally don’t watch much TV but this one has me hooked…. The rational part of my brain says the sooner I go through the last season(fortunately, Netflix only has 4 seasons!) the sooner I will be free to do more productive things without having to constantly fight temptation but the negative part of my brain is calling me names making it hard to enjoy watching it.
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Amna, I so enjoy hearing your story, thank you. Best wishes on your journey and with practicing ignoring the negative mind chatter!
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Sumitha – how funny to hear your experience with Mad Men! Have fun playing with your negative thoughts. It really is true that the less attention you pay them, the more they calm down! 🙂 Best wishes.
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

It’s my pleasure! Thanks so much for your note. And I agree, it is strange how words can change your life – sometimes just the slightest shift in perception can make all the difference. I”m so pleased to hear this article was useful for you. Best wishes, Lisa.
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hey Joe who writes kind words! Thanks so much for your comment – great to hear you enjoyed the article:)
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Dee, thanks for your note, and it’s so my pleasure! I presume you’ve been to my website and found my book, newsletter and things?
February 22, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Anthony, thanks for your note. I haven’t heard of ‘The Secret’ that you’re referring to – will check it out. Cool. Love a new read. And if you want to email me personally there are a couple of resources I could recommend, that might be helpful. And are you familiar with the David Lynch Foundation? I noticed the other day that they have a transcendental meditation based program for veterans. Wishing you all the best.
February 22, 2013

lv2terp

GREAT post!!!! I love your insight, wisdom, humor, and clear message! That is a wonderful perspective on negative thoughts. Also the message that we are made of of different parts, the mind and us are not one. Thank you! 🙂
February 23, 2013

Tammy

Lisa, I loved this post so much that I printed it out and will be handing it out to my clients and the staff that I supervise. I am a psychotherapist who works with rape victims and survivors of various forms of sexual assault and trauma. You worded this so eloquently and in a way that anyone can understand and have an ‘ah ha!’ moment 🙂 I teach my clients this line of thinking frequently, but seeing it in writing really gets the message across.

Thank you!
February 23, 2013

Saloni

🙂
February 24, 2013

Barb

Love it, thank you!!
“Awareness is like sunlight in the fog”!!! (Jack Kornfield)
February 25, 2013

Jantje

Thanks, Lisa, some more fruit for thoughts! Even though I am pretty much into self improvement myself, I realize every day about how human I am despite all awareness mechanisms. I usually struggle with the second point, acceptance that those thoughts are there, but not believing in them. What helps me the most is to think of someone who is worse of than me. That gets me back on track, a bit radical, but it works, for me.
February 26, 2013

Katie

Like many of the people who have already commented, this comes at such perfect timing. I don’t usually comment on posts, in fact I try and stay off too much social networking as I find it only increases self-critical thoughts, but this post and site have helped me so much. For my entire life, I tried to “think myself out of a negative thought”, replace it with a “positive affirmation” and then analyze something that really held no validity to begin with, then inevitably fall into ruminating thinking.Then I took a mindfulness class and something miraclous happened: I heard that my thoughts were not TRUE! Until then, I presumed my thoughts, even if irrational, carried some glimmer of truth, otherwise I would not have had the thought in the first place…right!? Actually, no! I have tried to become more aware of thoughts in the background and how easily they can sneak to the forefront when they trigger self doubt. I have also tried to make it a bit like a game because it can even be funny to notice the flat-out lies we tell ourselves! And then there are days where it isn’t so funny and we have to keep reminding ourselves that “I don’t feel badly. My mind (or body if I feel panicky for that matter) does!”. Thank you for this post!!
February 26, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Tammy, that’s wonderful to hear! Best wishes in your good work and thanks for saying:)
February 26, 2013

Lisa Esile

Thanks Barb! What a great visual – I haven’t heard that before. Nice:)
February 26, 2013

Rafael

Hi…:) I have recently move in Adelaide s.a.with my lovely wife and daughter for a new beginning in life,and I find my self having negative thoughts lately something that stresses me a lot I can say…there are so many things to deal here with our new life,and thank god my wife and child help me alot in this with they’re way,but these thoughts always appear in my way and move my body sometimes in a way that I don’t want…I’ll try yr way Lisa and fingers cross I hope to get results:)thanx a lot for sharing the way to light and inner piece
February 26, 2013

Guest

I have gotten in to a bad habit of believing that those negative thoughts make me feel like I am here, existing. I am an artist, drawing is my happy place. Where I go to get away, to be in a judgement free zone. Where my thoughts are lurking, but do not bother me. It is sick, but I tend to like my thoughts. Viewing it at times as a self-furfilling prophecy. I have never purposely caused harm to others. I am told I am very genuine. My ex-girlfriend’s mother told me I see beauty in everything. I have been called an old soul since young. A serious man.

At times I see how my thoughts are troublesome, but other times I feel like it is a path I am following. If I were to stop and reach that sense of tranquility now it would halt my growth. Even writing this now I see what I need to do. Maybe keep my thoughts and at the same time allow myself to view things differently, but it is not like I put a barrier between myself and those around me. It tends to feel like everything is up to me. I keep a journal, but a thought of egocentricity comes upon me. After hearing my ex-girlfriend tell me that I only love myself, the ego has become something I am aware of at all times. That statement was simply not true, I did everything for her.

I seek to live righteous in every way possible. Sometimes I don’t see the point, but I know what I feel is so strong that I will be alright. We should not trick ourselves to being happy, is self-discovery possible if we are doing so?
March 2, 2013

Whitney

Completely changed my outlook on myself and life today. Awesome article. Thank you!
March 7, 2013

nish

Hy Lisa, what if negetive thoughts are killing me becouse of some guilts? how to overcome?
March 7, 2013

nish

Hay Lisa what to do if negative thoughts are making me sad day by day because of some guilt’s? how to overcome it? or should i say , because of negative energy inside me these guilt’s are xpanding? if i try to be positive no guilt will harm me?
March 12, 2013

Karisa

Thank you!! Sometimes its hard to admit that your not 100% positive all the time. And reading the comments its nice to know that everyone struggles sometimes!
March 13, 2013

Derecia Oglesby

Great ensite on how to ignore my negative thoughts. I really needed this, this will really help me in understanding why I think on negative things in my past and present and not let it effect my future. Thanks so much!
March 23, 2013

ericaled

I love this, thank you! The realization that I can take all the power away from my thoughts, if not remove the thoughts completely, has been enormously helpful.
April 8, 2013

PS

Excellent article.
“The mind is simply a tool. Negative thoughts are normal to it. I am NOT my mind” . This is a potentially life changing idea, if it is realized correctly. Thank you.
April 30, 2013

Lisa Esile

Hi Tammy, I’d love to follow up on your comment and wondered if you would mind emailing me – lisa at lisaesile.com? Thanks again:) I hope others found a few “a-ha” moments within the article as you suspected they might!
April 30, 2013

Lisa Esile

My pleasure!
April 30, 2013

Lisa Esile

That’s great to hear. It is a wonderful thing to realize, isn’t it? No point fighting all those thoughts, way better to take away their power by ignoring them:)
July 23, 2013

Akshay

“ah, hello thought. I know you’re not real; you are just a thought. Oh well, you can stay there if you like, but I have things to do today so I’m just going to go ahead and do them.”
Epic suggestion… gonna try this… Thanks Lisa for such a wonderful read:)
July 23, 2013

Razzuan Ranz

Thank for your advice , it’s very usefull for me . I’m just 18 but i have a lot of problem with my family so i keep think negative , after i take your word as my routine . I became more relax and happy 🙂
August 4, 2013

guest

I needed this my boyfriend is in jail wrecking my car and assaulting me but he actually went to jail for warrants because I never filed charges on the other stuff.
August 4, 2013

sudharson

Hi . i had some negative thoughts which were taking me to hell. i desperately missed my girl friend and so i had those thoughts . i must thank u for changing my mind. This was the best article i ever read . Thank u soo much . even meditation could not help me .
September 10, 2013

yuna

im so bothered just now and i can’t sleep i think i always have a 4 to 5 hours sleep only everyday, because i worry to much..because of my fiance,we’ve been having a long distance relationship for the past 6 months.I want to always chatting with him,sometimes im being so paranoid and i keep on thinking negative thoughts to him..but by next month we will see each other again..but were having some problem regarding of my flight..about what will come up for the approval in immigration..if i will be upload or what..negative thoughts is killing us..huhuhu…please..someone give us some advice..i love him very much….
September 19, 2013

linda wilkinson

Hi my name is Linda I loved this article and felt encouraged by it I am recovering from many years of alcholism my thoughts were all negative I now take medication and will power to keep me abstinant reading helps me to focus my mind on the positive its the only way I’m looking for someone to help me with this lindaoxo123@gmail.com
October 13, 2013

Vimal

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for this beautiful post ..I’ve gone through a story from Buddha which is similar to this..Although I did that, my mind tries to forget the good ones 😀 and comes back to “traditional” way of believing in thoughts ..!! ..however I am happy to see such a beautiful post here …

I am adding the story from Buddha below..Hope you already knew this:..

Once Buddha was
travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha
told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the
lake.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. At that
moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the
water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give
this muddy water to Buddha to drink?”

So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy.
I don’t think it is fit to drink.”

After about half an
hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake.

The disciple went
back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha
about the same.

After sometime, again
Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

This time, the
disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So
he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the
water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,” See what you did
to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own —
and you have clear water.

Your mind is like
that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will
settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It
will happen. It is effortless.”

Hope you knew this story already but maybe some others here might not know, and hope they feel good ..

May peace be upon you ..AUM
Namaste ..

-Vimal.
October 28, 2013

Kakashi

Awesome Awesome Awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you very much i was trying to figure out how to get out of this hell from many days and you solved it in a flash ! God bless you
November 14, 2013

G

Thanks needed that today.
November 21, 2013

anonymous

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Good bye
December 3, 2013

Μιχάλης

Thank you very much for this post!
December 13, 2013

Alex

I need this today, i cried in happiness after reading it. Thank you
December 24, 2013

craig

🙂 you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met or listened to recently, other than my parents 🙂 Thank you, so much.
January 2, 2014

Gabriel

You are so wise, the way you word things, like you include a relate-able example with every topic, I finally understand now. Thank you!
January 18, 2014

G K Patel

hi madam , I am very depressed due to unemployment , when I saw your website comments as well as read about your books , I feels that nothing is impossible, every one can do any thing .
so please kindly tell me some tips for success in the life…
February 1, 2014

Ariel

I honestly don’t know how to thank you enough. I’ve been going through a rough time and these terrible thoughts have been invading my brain, and that would just make me worry more because I thought they had to be rooted in some type of truth. Then I would try to delve for the truth and that was just scare me even more and I’d continue this cycle of agony. This article was a huge dose of relief and peace. Its amazing to know that I’m not alone in this and that sometimes (a lot of times, really) your mind just says things that aren’t even true. Its hard to grasp at first, but it makes so much sense and helps me see more clearly. I’m going to take your words and wisdom wherever I go and try to help others as well. Thank you, thank you a thousand times over.
February 3, 2014

Omyx

Lisa Esile, you are awesome! Keep doing what you’re doing 🙂 thank you, loved your 7 Secrets Your Mind Doesn’t Want You to Know!
February 13, 2014

A

Wow, wonderful article and a big big help and light shed for me. Thank you. I have way too many negative thoughts and it is very useful your revelation that they are independent of reality and our self-worth. All of your points are strong, valid and make me feel better!Great organization/writing, too!
February 17, 2014

priya

hi lisa thank you so so so much now my nagitives are going far away from me
February 18, 2014

Lucia

How about the law of attraction?? This is the reason I am scared of my unwanted thoughts, and the reason I have OCD. I get a lot of anxiety thinking that I am attracting this things that i imagine and it really make me anxious.
February 21, 2014

Raghav

i hav read a lot of things like this n i today i read urs…hmm in my case i think all the time and usually find solutions to make myself okay..but i m never able to implement it..hav no control..
March 12, 2014

Ramkumar

Hi,
What I understand from the article is that, one has the power to decide on whether to act on the thoughts which comes into mind (whether it is +ve or -ve). But I could not exactly get the line “You are not your mind”, since so many other books, articles, scriptures say otherwise like
i) You are what you think you are
ii) You cannot act in a way that is inconsistent with the way you see yourselves
iii) The mind is everything. What we think, we become

The last one is from tinybuddha (one of buddha’s saying). So could you explain what they mean by those quotes/saying and what you mean.
April 7, 2014

Andrew

my thoughts keep targeting people I’m close to and I have that OCD that my thoughts will create reality, I get so paranoid and stressed out thinking my thoughts will come true
April 8, 2014

Niti

Hi Lisa, just loved your article.

Can you please explain this sentence in detail, I didn’t get it correctly?

When you jump on “negative” thoughts and reject them in a knee-jerk way, you’re saying to yourself, “I’m not good enough. If I were good enough, I wouldn’t have had that thought in the first place.”
April 19, 2014

Faisal Salamah

But don’t you think that those negative thoughts keeping you drown in your bad mood could, actually, be your situation in reality? If you ignore them you are just escaping or, in other words, worsening your life troubles.
April 25, 2014

mrinal

An amazing article. it tells me and kinda assures me when i read it each day that my thoughts are rubbish. i don’t have to listen to the rubbish my mind is telling me, My mind is NOT ME in actual.i don’t have to think over them. Thank you.!

I would like to read more such positive articles
June 2, 2014

n,jr5i76kygkyv

True———–
June 21, 2014

Zen Man

This was very helpful. It made realize why Zen teachings say to just let vexating thoughts come and go. We don’t need to take them seriously. They’re not “us”! Their foreign objects that have come to orbit around our true nature. But if we don’t feed them with attention, then their gravitational pull will start to weaken, and they’ll flung into the far reaches of the universe, never to vex us again!
July 5, 2014

Michaël Karim

It is the first time i read about the mind as a tool and that you basically just can ‘replace’ your filter (like a piece of equipment that is broken and you simply change it by a ‘working’ one.) Visualizing this is really disempowering the negative thoughts and helps me a lot getting over this.

Thank you for sharing this. Have a wonderful day
July 26, 2014

nobody

Having bad thoughts today about death and its making me scared
July 29, 2014

Sirina Farhat

it’s a great post thank you after reading you article i feel so much better this helps me 😀
September 1, 2014

LaraCroft

All thoughts create your reality. There is no such thing as a “positive” thought. Think about what you want to create. That’s neither positive nor negative; it’s just the creation process at work.
September 1, 2014

LaraCroft

Thoughts are real things. Real things have a function. The function of thoughts is to create your reality. Everything that happens to you is a result of your thoughts and beliefs…AND THE QUESTIONS YOU ASK. If you ask yourself, “What happens if I get sick before vacation?” You WILL get the answer and you WILL find out. WE ARE CREATORS.
September 6, 2014

Gingerika

Spectacular! At last some one is speaking with simplicity and wise insight to this now ubiquitous trend of “switching thoughts/feelings” and worrying about our natural negative thoughts as being something frightening. Yes, it just creates another hurtful, “not good enough” mirror for us to see ourselves in, just like the original source the negative thoughts came from in the first place! 🙂 Cognitive inquiry methods (such as Byron Katie questions, Toltec, Abraham-Hicks, 3-in-1 Concepts, Zen Buddhism, mystical biblical Christian practices) are some good teachings I’ve had as I’ve struggled with and come far in overcoming negative thoughts. The teachings are very helpful, and taught what you’re saying here in one nice, tidy, simple, undeniable, clear packet! Most appreciated. I am a new fan!
September 6, 2014

Gingerika

(Oh, and I wanted to say also, in hopes and in case it’s helpful for anyone, that in dealing up close and very personal with many people, as I have in my life/work, it never deviates that I see those who practice “switching thoughts” (which I experience as being 90% an unhealthy practice… I love how you said “jam one thought over another”, imo a perfect description!) to wind up being laden with a myriad of neuroses, denial styles, troublesome mood swings, inauthenticity, self-doubt, stuck in their heads with endless back&forth rumination, difficulties bonding & relating with others, over-self-absorption, a nervous & divided personality, and growing narcissism and the low self-esteem/insecurity which undergirds it. That’s just been my longtime observation. How much better imo to accept the truth as you’ve outlined it here, sit with our thoughts and allow them to clear by just accepting them yet not being beholden to their control, to lovingly treat mind as the sweet (sometimes wayward, yet beloved) child (and tool) that it is, and to therefore feel more grounded, authentic, present, strong, stable, natural, and clear, with being able to experience the wide range of thoughts and emotions which are part of life for humans… to know it’s not about our thoughts but what we do with them, and so on. (I think of maybe 10 Bible scriptures which go right along with this same idea, in case that’s of any interest for anybody as well. Truth is all around us 🙂 Again, very good and many thanks. I will send others to your site, Tiny Buddha!)
September 8, 2014

Kinnisha

This is the one Tiny Buddha article that I always always come back to because it gives me so much comfort.
September 11, 2014

armaan singh

The truth is your mind is just one part of you; it isn’t you.
Seriously its great post.
Dear lisa i am from india. I dont know much english to explore what i want to share with you but i hope you will read my whole comment and ll give me appropriate suggestions.
My name is armaan singh.currently i am doing engineering (final year) and i live alone in a small room. These days i m not feeling well, all the time my mind says it ll happen(something bad).and my heart starts beating fast all the time. What should i do?? All the time i feel peoples around me would kill me, they are talking about me and i become very suspicious with heart beating so fast.
I saw your post today as i want to get rid of my negative thoughts, i saw all the people commenting here in positive manner and thats true. Your article is very well. But i read it more than 50 times but still my heart beats so fast
CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME??
I am dying seriously.
Please its a pray to you.
Reply me asap
If possible reply me on my mail in case i dont find this blog
My mail is armaanraj99@gmail.com
September 27, 2014

Sam

Please Lisa help me i am really fed up with all my ill negative thoughts.Sometimes i wana commit suicide due to this thoughts.About me i am so emotional guy with lots of love and care for others but on the other hand from last 10 yrs i have been thinking about killing someone.You know she is my mother.i love her so much.This thought came when i was child and i thought i couldnt stay away my mother cause i love her so much till today i love her si much but why this thoughts comes?please help asap i m in trouble.PLEASE.

My email adress is contactmehere84@gmail.com

Please help me!!!
September 30, 2014

Hello

I learned to stop worrying no matter what because the past is gone, the future is to make us prepared and the present is always a gift. What we have in the present might not be in our future like our families and communication :).
October 1, 2014

Jungle Mania

Hi
October 7, 2014

fabercastell

Also! you can grow from your own complaints to yourself… there are things you just don’t like about your life, and admitting them is the first step to doing something about it, if you dismiss those thoughts you might actually be avoiding the positive in your life!
October 15, 2014

Manish Gagnani

that was n superb artical bt one thing i wnna know what if negetive thought keeps on coming after we stop once….i mean thought once stoped by me after dat again dat thought appears what to do….sir/madam

Kindly help me it can solve my bigger problem of mah life
thnx yewww
October 27, 2014

selva s

“Notice your thought, as in, ah, hello thought. I know you’re not real; you are just a thought. Oh well, you can stay there if you like, but I have things to do today so I’m just going to go ahead and do them. ” A very strong and real positive WORDS. I thank you very much and I am very happy for your social service !!
October 29, 2014

missrosewakeman

Hmmm I will definitely try this out! I’m in between contracts at the moment and a couple of friends have made comments implying that I’m a bit negative at the moment. But then, the odd thing is, I actually don’t ‘feel’ negative in general. My words are coming out that way, but deep inside, I feel actually ok and happy to be having a little bit of time to finish some projects I couldn’t do whilst working. So you are right! Although my mind is thinking negative i.e. worrying etc… it doesn’t mean my whole being is sad and unable to do things. In fact, I’ve been very productive.
Thank you Lisa!
November 2, 2014

Jeanette Renee Hewabandu

I have struggled so much to just try and participate with friends I have had arguments with by going to their parties or attempting to make amends. But my negative thougts always win now. They are also encouraged by having a life outside of those friends. Maybe I have outgrown them ? Anyway I find it hard to be social now with anyone but my family. I also have been a mom now for awhile and have lost any other friendships outside of taking care of my child. Does this tend to happen to moms? Negative thoughts give me social anxiety and stress too. I wish I could just watch them done and go but it almost feels some of them are instincual.
November 20, 2014

Elham Hooshmand

What you have said in your 2nd point is amazingly true…
“I think to myself, what if I didn’t believe this, even for a few seconds? The result is always strangely exhilarating”
It is sooo strange but IT ACTUALLY WORKS..everytime I do this I just feel so stupid for letting my mind play games with me like that..if you stop worrying about it would it (the worrying/fear) still be real? NO..then it definitely is NOT
November 22, 2014

Bre

Thank you. This was so eye opening! I’m sharing this with everyone.
December 1, 2014

Allen Michael

Great article! I have struggled with depression most of my life, and of course these negative thoughts. I read somewhere about how to acknowledge they are there, and that they are a lie. Needed this reminder! Thanks.
December 5, 2014

bristow3269

I have been reading this post repeatedly for the past week because for about that long, I have had these awful things that I don’t believe or least I pray I don’t actually believe that I am too afraid to say out loud coursing through my brain. It just never shuts up and if I leave this house its worse so I come up with excuses not to leave. This post helps.
December 11, 2014

Aik Aadmi

Dear Lisa,
I am a 13 year old teen from Pakistan..
I was the most positive thinker in my family , until all these negative thoughts suddenly erupted in my mind. They have been going on for a while… An year ago I defeated all negative thoughts easily.. But a few months ago I got high fever… And Negative thoughts erupted.. They aren’t going.. I cry a lot due to this.. My mind is making me think they are correct..I want to move forward but my mind isn’t letting me do so… Please help me!
It will really be a pleasure…

SIncerely,
Aik Aadmi
December 14, 2014

anonymus

i love you.yar help kar dee toone…
December 16, 2014

Leah

I’m so grateful I found this post, I’ve been feeling bad recently, and it seems to happen around the time my boyfriend leaves to go back home, I keep thinking, ‘oh what if we weren’t in a relationship any more’ and my instant reaction to that is ‘Does that mean I don’t want to be in a relationship with him if I thought that?’. This post was great and I’ve bookmarked it and I’ll probably be checking up on it regularly so I can start to heed your advice. (I’m not sure if it applies to the situation I’ve used but it made me feel better anyway)
January 3, 2015

puja

my problem is dat m always thinking negative about myself, i dont blv on those negative thoughts, i dont care about anything but when people say me ur color is not fair den m little bit disappointed and thinking really m not fair. because i blv. color, height does not matter ur confidence , good heart is mattered. due this some time’s i react aggressively…i am also thinking all the time my friends have well educated families i dont have…
January 22, 2015

Ramachandrasekaran

Science had cured man’s deadly diseases like malaria/polio/palgue/headaches &many.
It has even made the man to sleep.New discoveries in Brain science can only eliminate all these unwanted torturing negative thoughts.Let us celebrate brain science.

By the bye who is broadcasting those negative atrocious thoughts? Were he be the god,people would lose faith in HIM.
February 5, 2015

Keynon J

I love you lisa <3
February 5, 2015

freespirit

Thank you so much lisa..this article helped me a LOT!!! The mere realisation that a thought is negative or positive is what im doing where as my mind puts out that thought..and im not my mind 🙂
February 6, 2015

pineapplek

I am doing this too, with several quotes. It is very helpful.
March 9, 2015

Gamer Tact

“I’m not my mind” denotes a series of other 3rd party circumstances controlling your focus. It changes the initial reality of manifesting your intentions as is, as control factors such as negative thinking are introduced. Whether it’s built into the structure of the brain, or caused by “environmental” circumstances, the fact is your focus is being controlled by a 3rd party. It’s an idea beyond paranoia, observed, documented, and researched. Yes your mind is a tool, but becoming your mind brings you back to the question of why your mind is the way it is. The purpose is clear, and forward looking, as everything changes, but 3rd party influence intentional or not, brings you back to question of what you are, and the environment your in.
March 13, 2015

ALAN JONES

Thanks for this post. I suffer with negative thoughts on a continual basis…seems never ending if I’m honest. I’m hoping that this is the answer.
April 2, 2015

mesei

hi lisaesile ,thanks for the positive think post but i have a bad thought of flash of looking at unseen part of body …fear of in front coming peoples ,small crowd peoples

thanks
April 9, 2015

nicholas alexopoulos

I have had thoughts of grabbing a knife and hurting myself even though i would never do that. I had adrenaline that made me weak and fixated on it before i left the room. this is my worst battle with anxiety as ive had episodes for 10 years but nothing this bad! am i normal, will i ever think clear again! thanks nick
April 22, 2015

Katya

This is an awesome article! It is true…we don’t realize just how normal it is to have these negative thoughts. While I think that sometimes it is easier than others to think positively (sometimes I just wake up in a positive place and sometimes in a negative place without an obvious reason), those negative thoughts always come back and rear their ugly head. It is at those points where we can make a decision to not follow those negative thoughts and get dragged into some negative cyclone, but rather to not give them credence. I mean, really, how quickly do thoughts come and go? They are so arbitrary and a lot of times not based on facts at all. So, to realize them for what they are…just thoughts, like bubbles that pop up and then go on their way, we can decide to take our power back and not get dragged around by the whims of the mind. Now, that is not easy to do but being conscious about it and take small steps to catch ourselves, hopefully we can create new habits over time. I am definitely working on this and have a long way to go but I believe it is all possible as I have known many people with the same concerns and who have become stronger by learning these lessons!!!
April 25, 2015

Mera

How do you do that?I mean stop resisting?When we have a negative thought,do we keep thinking about it?Because I hear you are supposed to acknowledge it.Can any one please advice how to stop resisting anything,be it a thought,or a situation?Thank you kindly.
May 7, 2015

balaji

Hi I have a great problem can anyone please solve it ?
May 18, 2015

Candy Cantu

I’ve been reading the bible on how to overcome or control negative thoughts. There’s a scripture that says after youv’e accepted Jesus Christ ofcourse, you tell your mind with authority, “Holding all thoughts captive to obey My Lord Jesus Christ.” Amen. My mind now is so peaceful like when i was younger. Ofcourse not all the way but about 80% better. No doubt its just the unclean spirits of the devil.
May 28, 2015

Ryan sharma

This1 is awsm . I m not my mind . This iz only a tool thnxx
June 13, 2015

Anna Zenka

just signed up to whatever-this-place-is only to say that i’ve just done the exact same thing 🙂 thank you for this 🙂 p.s. as i was writing this, i realized that this is 2 years old. oh well 🙂
July 15, 2015

timothy

Hello can you guys help me I’ve got this super disturbing urge to murder and i don’t like it super I don’t like it but it keeps rolling my mind how can I stop this
July 21, 2015

Michael

Thanks very much. The idea of not rejecting negative thoughts in a knee-jerk way because this reinforces the belief of not being good enough was so valuable.
August 6, 2015

User11223344

I’m going to try this thankyou, i’ve been told a very big secret, from my partners family, and he doesn’t know, and he can’t know, i keep having “guilty” thoughts, and feeling bad about not telling him, but if i do i will loose him, does that make me selfish? My thoughts are giving me a hard time, i keep telling myself how can you act normal around him when you feel like this, i can deal with it sometimes, but other times it gets me very worried and anxious and just stops me thinking positively, but i’m going to try this method, and some others i’ve found on the internet, but if you’ve got some more info on this topic, i would appreciate the help/ knowledge, thanks 🙂
August 28, 2015

Lucky Lambdin

No doubt it’s just the unclean spirits of psychological disease, otherwise known as “insanity.” You sick b*tch, get a f*cking life why don’t you! Good Lord!
October 2, 2015

disqus_HktXSeI6bd

Hi I loved your article. I am suffering from negative thoughts from so long ( most of my life)
I always try to ignore but it keeps coming back on my mind.
November 6, 2015

Esha

You are a healer in true sense. SO NEEDED THIS . Now i really want to play this name called negative thoughts.
November 7, 2015

byaton clement

it really made me a bit strong
November 7, 2015

Jeff

Would the negative thoughts you’re talking about here be just anything that bothers you and not just stuff that destroys your self-esteem, like “this person was one of the smartest people I knew yet he lied to me.”?
November 21, 2015

Xena

“You’re not real; you’re just a thought.” Plastered in my mind’s eye so I can see it every minute.
December 30, 2015

Yxman

For some years but till now I work for Most risk populations, includes gay bi-, etc.. after some period I just started worrying that others might think or think me as gay, such hurting of a thought, i never wanted, nothing else, made me so embraced, puts me into a state of lack of motivation to social interaction, fear against men or looking at men, mind chatter, unconsciousness, my God It was a hell in mind, but I am so fortune that I still stand on my principles, I need some help to come out with ongoing pressure, any guidance.
February 11, 2016

David Duncan

Thanks for this. Been trying harder then I need too.

“When you jump on “negative” thoughts and reject them in a knee-jerk way, you’re saying to yourself, “I’m not good enough. If I were good enough, I wouldn’t have had that thought in the first place.”
March 5, 2016

Omar Ramirez

Love your post thanks. Man im 19 yrs old and ive had tons of negative thoughts. Well glad to know there just thoughts.
March 5, 2016

Omar Ramirez

When you finally come to realize all your negative thoughts are just thoughts doesnt that radically improve your odds on accomplishing your goals and having succes?
March 13, 2016

Farman Khan Marwat

Lisaesile I read your article for the first time..and enjoyed really..Thanks a lot for encouraging me..i m from Pakistan
March 27, 2016

Asyrafil Muchtar

Thanks for the awesome article, this is really help me to control my mind.
April 27, 2016

Edward

Are you okay ?
May 1, 2016

Serge

Hi there…even though it’s a past bad thought ..you can do this?
May 7, 2016

Sjjsjs

Thansk
May 16, 2016

Natalie

Hi Lisa, thanks for this I needed a reminder. I would have to agree that affirmations in themselves could be a form of resistance as you’re trying to not think or feel the way you actually do. Covering up a negative thought with a positive one may well provide temporary relief but ultimately strengthens the negative thoughts. With regards to not believing though, if you consciously not believe it aren’t you actually giving more power to that negative thought simply because you’re engaging with it? I have a stream of negative thoughts and guaranteed any attention I give to them just makes them more intense. This is all based on my understanding of Eckhart Tolle’s teachings and my own experience. By trying to be positive you’re entering into the dualistic aspect of the psyche creating polarised ways of thinking. As Buddha says it’s about the end of suffering whatever that means rather than seeking the opposite of what is.
June 6, 2016

a

this is AWESOME!!! what a relief :))))) thank you thank you thank you :))
June 10, 2016

nl45

Still love this article! thanks 🙂
July 8, 2016

chris

It’s funny. I was in my car eating a massive burrito after a gig last night, and I reflected on my morbid obesity. I had the thought “I’m not worthy of love. I hope that if I eat and smoke enough, my heart will explode. I’ve ruined my life, my spiritual longings are mocked by my inner rationalist/cynic, and my only consoling thought is that one day it will all be over.” My therapist says something similar to what you say here. I don’t have to believe all my thoughts, and that I can create a distance between my “self” and them. That would be nice. Thanks for the article.
July 9, 2016

kat lee

Hi there, I have been stuck for 7 years in a place that I don’t like to live so my vibration has sunk to an all time low being suicidal a few years back but I am not like that now. Constant repetitive negative thoughts though plague me from beating myself up to having very high standards for others I just realized. This article helped me alot to put into perspective because if I don’t change…I will stay stuck forever and that scares me. Never have I had such neg, emotions about everything but do realize what the source is and how I didn’t stand up for myself to bullying people because of my negative self talk that I couldn’t. I am excited for your articles and look forward to them all the time. Namaste
July 12, 2016

Peter Strong

The most effective way to work with negative thoughts is to to learn how to embrace them with mindfulness, which is hold them in a space of compassionate conscious awareness; not fighting them, resisting them or indulging in them. Mindfulness teaches us how to stop being bullied by our thoughts and emotions, how to break free from their grip.
The Boulder Center for Online Mindfulness Therapy
July 30, 2016

Ajay Kumbhar

Ma’am I was 10 years old when I saw a movie in which there was lot of violence and in that they had shown snake bites….as I was very young at that time I assumed that when snake bites you, you can not survive…then one day I was playing outdoors in an area where there were lots of bushes..suddenly something scratched my left leg…there were two dots of blood at that place…I took it wrong for snake bite…and I feared I would die after few minutes if not rushed to hospital…but after some time I realized that it was not snake bite rather it was thorn in the bushes…but the fear of snake bite was there in my mind…I used to fear to go out on playground s…because I used to think what if snake bites me…after some days as I got engaged with my studies and with some counseling from my parents that fear got disappeared from my mind…but I am 24 years of age today and my grooming since childhood is such that I have become too much critical of myself…and I analyze myself in negative ways…negative thoughts do come frequently…but they don’t cause any tension for me…what bothers me is the thought that why they come to my mind only and not others?? Does this mean I am not able to think rationally?? Above all the thought that bothers me a lot and because of which I was in depression is that whether I am mentally ill?? This thought comes to my mind because I was irrational when I was fearful about snakes when I was 10 yrs old and even now when I am 24 yrs young adult I have suffered depression due to my own negative thoughts…I know the thoughts are irrational but the thoughts themselves are not driving me to think whether I am mentally ill or not…but the feeling that I am not thinking rationally is what pushing me further into depression…snake fear though disappeared easily at that time when I was 10 yrs old…but the feeling that I was fearful about something so I am irrational and this could be due to the fact that I am mentally ill— this thought is causing further depression…because we always want to have some control over future and when I think about future I think I have some mental illness so my future will be dark and thus I feel depressed…although with the help of your article I came to know that this just a thought and not necessarily a reality but still that doesn’t work for me…as I believe strongly that as I was fearful about snake bite at very tender age I surely have some mental illness… An illness in which man can not think rationally and can not see reality….maam can you please tell me whether these are just thoughts coming out of my strong belief in– I feared snake bite and now I suffered depression thus I have a mental illness or do I really have one??? I am trapped in vicious web of my own thoughts and I hope for your reply and help
August 2, 2016

Mr T

Hello, I am feeling sorry for you. As I write this, I had severe negative thought last 2 weeks which is nearly to depression. These thoughts happened again for me last year July, i managed to get out of the cube by Dec 2015.

Now it has come back again in full. Let me share some tricks which help me last year to have full recover, which also help me now. Once I forget to practice that, I fall into it again.

I am 32 years, i have good life and very promising future. Most people with severe negative thoughts, usually starts at early age due to a scary event, mine started when I was 16 years. Then I developed a habit over a long time, and eventually I became weak to be attacked by negativity.

My biggest worry of this time is exactly like yours, I fear that I am probably mentally Ill, probably i will not be able work and communicate efficiently with family and friends due to my condition, probably that will be the end of me.

My friend, you cant choose what comes into your head. Anything come, anytime..chance is high that, negative ideas are coming in very high rate than positive ideas and that you will never control. You cant choose what thoughts pops in, anything just pop in.

You only need to understand that the difference between thoughts and feeling, negative thought is unstoppable but the resulting feeling can be controlled. So when negative thought comes, just acknowledge it and never give attention and u will never feel bad.

This look difficult in the beginning, but through practice it become easy and you succeed beating up the negative thought. So once you realize that your mind is telling you negative thought, just take it like you are told bad suggestion by un-trusted friend, yes you heard but you don’t pay attention.

Practice to be busy on the things which matters the most, if you are studying just make sure you take more time to study, then take more time to exercise, take more time to enjoy with friends. Don’t stay indoor for long time alone thinking, break the trend, refuse to be alone. Lonely attract overthinking.

It is possible to break overthinking, this cause irrational thinking in the end. Once you detect that bad idea/thought/suggestion comes in, just greet it and do something else, concentrate on what u are thinking. Your mind will tell u, there is something in the background need your attention, just ignore and do what u do.

Today I feel great, I am feeling as a winner, and I am trying not to allow my self into overthinking
August 12, 2016

Linda

I’m always astounded by how afraid people are of crying.
August 16, 2016

meru

Hi Lisa, thanks for the article. I quite often get negative thoughts not for my self but the thoughts are more like ” I hope nothing bad happens to my wife or family’ I hope the past doesn’t affect the present and future and so on. I am more worried as some where I read that our negative thoughts are attracted to the universe and whatever negative we are thinking that happens as the universe picks it up. Is it true? How to stop that. Your help will be really appreciated. Thanks
September 7, 2016

Rosie Kate Gower

I can’t believe how much this post speaks to me. It made me very upset with myself and brought me tears. To know that for so many years I have been emotionally and mentally battering myself and hating who I am… Until I read this post is believed that I was born negative, there’s nothing I can do to change it (having tried positive affirmations and trying to think positively for a number of yearstudents on and off) I’m a natural worrier and il end up pushing everyone I know and love away.
Your post has given me new hope. And just to know that I am NOT my own thoughts is, like someone else said, going to need a lot of getting my head around that one! It’s been inspirational reading the comments surrounding the topic too. To know I am not on my own in my negative thinking and menatal struggles. To know I’m not actually mental and depressed is going to change my life. I thought I had no choice in all of this. Thank you Lisa. You’re an inspiration and you must know that you have changed my life for the better. Xx
September 14, 2016

Vinayak Sutar-Patil

I agree with the main point of this article. I liked the complete article but especially “Opinions of others do not really matter” I am completely agree with the fact that we should not care about what other say about you. we should always listen to our heart. For me, to avoid caring about what others think about me, i set priorities and make a to do list. I make my mind busy with things I want to achieve. Most of the time, we always seek advice from those who even don’t know about that and on top of that, we even follow them…

it’s really works. because when we start thinking on other peoples think, that time we stuck on one place and we start wasting our time by fixing issues. but when we start ignoring other peoples then we start work without and interruption. Being yourself in a world which tries to change you always is an achievement…

As an entrepreneur, you should be certain about what you want to achieve, plan smart and get down to work. Most of people are just there to demoralize because they are demotivated. Ignore them and do what you do best: “Create”!
September 26, 2016

teresa

I love your thoughts Lisa..believe it or not theyre helping me in my cancer journey/experience whatever you call it.
October 12, 2016

Sejal

Ohh god! Thankyou and i love you girl. Actually needed this ❤
November 22, 2016

Carole Willis

I sometimes have awful thoughts in the most inappropriate places!!. Then I start thinking there’s something wrong with me?? It’s a good job nobody else can hear my thoughts!!
December 15, 2016

Kamran

Hy guys,Kamran here before 3mnths I had my femur surgry after that I’m so depressed evry time and and negativ feelings like I wil for or I will crazy plz can Any one help I cnt sleep coz negativ thinks plz plz help me
January 5, 2017

Ghizlane Ou

I loved it, I loved the way you wrote it, simple and so deep, I thank you for saving me from my thoughts…
January 5, 2017

Mariah

does this also go along with having thoughts that make you want to negatively respond to a situation?
March 7, 2017

Jon

Couldnt the same be said for positive thoughts
March 24, 2017

Sean Lowe Donaghey

Thankyou for this i really needed to read this
April 10, 2017

Peter Strong

Negative thoughts and feelings only become a problem when we blindly identify with them. Learning how to stop the habit of reactive identification is perhaps the most important skill to break free from their adverse effects in contracting the mind and feeding emotional suffering. Developing these skills is central to the teaching on mindfulness meditation.
The Boulder Center for Online Mindfulness Therapy
April 19, 2017

Peoples

There is a perception that if you think bad things this will attract them and they will be true…Can you help me in this aspect?Because this creates resistance inside me and i am nervous most of the time from that.How will i be able to think bad things without being afraid of them?Thanks!
May 26, 2017

Peter Strong

What matters most is the relationship we have with our thoughts, both positive and negative. The thoughts themselves are not the problem, but if we become blindly attached and identified with them, then we suffer. Through mindfulness training and meditation on our thoughts we can develop freedom in relationship to thoughts and emotions. This is essential for emotional well-being.

The Boulder Center for Online Mindfulness Therapy
July 1, 2017

pratyush kumar choudhury

I want to ask something about my love life.
About my partner, now she is leaving me for some shot of negative assumptions about our future.
July 29, 2017

Harry B

Hi, sometimes there are thought that irritate me by coming in my mind again and again like they teasing me. So times it makes me crazy. I feel like I am the most negative person in life even in sometimes in good news I find out negative one and start worrying. ….. Now practice the idea you share . I hope it will help me. Thx
August 5, 2017

leslie_nicole

Sometimes though aren’t the thoughts true things that aren’t being dealt with? Not self criticism but what about negative thoughts about a relationship? Maybe the thoughts are true – or at least the truth that it isn’t working – and because the situation isn’t being dealt with it turns into a constant negative rumination. How does one deal with that? Maybe recognizing that you are having negative thoughts but not holding in to them and feeling bad about it?
August 16, 2017

Sam

What a great post, thanks Lisa, keep up the good work 🙂
September 22, 2017

Nirisha

Thank you for your article, god bless you 🙂 you changed my entire life 🙂
November 24, 2017

Usman Saeed

Excellent article.
“The mind is simply a tool. Negative thoughts are normal to it. I am NOT my mind” . This is a potentially life changing idea, if it is realized correctly. Thank you.
January 1, 2018

asad

Negative thinkings are a part of life and “neagtive thinkings ae powerful only when we react to them”. I hope you understand that. Thanks.
January 22, 2018

Hayley Cutchey

Hi Peoples.

I just read your comment and notice you had not received a reply, so I hope I can help.

The key is to find the positives in the ‘bad things’ that you think. Really, everything is positive, it is only the illusion of time that makes us think things are happening negatively. For example, you may lose your job (something you could be afraid of) but a few weeks later, you could find the job of your dreams, or it could be the opportunity you’ve never taken in changing your career.

Another example is you could see breaking up with a partner a bad thing, but the same applies, this part is breaking down to get ready for something even better.

It is only our perception and thoughts of a situation or thing that makes it bad.

To accept each moment as it is, without resistance, brings peace. We suffer when we create resistance in our thoughts by viewing things or situations as bad and not wanting or accepting them. When you’ve finally had enough of suffering, you will decide it’s time to change…so situations that we perceive as bad and that cause suffering are positive and necessary because eventually, they will force you to cease the resistance and start to listen to your inner being.

I’d love to hear what kind of bad things make you feel afraid and to offer some help for you.

You can contact me at Hayleycutchey@hotmail.co.uk.

Have a super day; see the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see.
December 10, 2020

shamitha jafar

This is really nice…I am feeling great. Thanks for such a good article. It’s pretty simple and efficient. In a way, it shows we have to be practical about everything. We keep thinking about things that are not gonna happen and some unreal things. It keeps going round and round in our mind. Ultimately the fact is “this is my mind doing, why am i bothering”…..
January 11, 2021

dele jide

thanks for this article, i would like to talk more
March 30, 2021

Space Oddity

This is so wonderful and it coincides with a book I’m reading which is helping me SO MUCH, so thank you for this! I have a question, if thoughts are just thoughts, what about the life changing impact of positive thoughts? What about the happy coincidences and synchronicities they bring to your life? Thank you 🙏🏽
December 6, 2025

David Ryan Tarog

Principles. Thank you.