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Young man needing some advice

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • December 28, 2014 at 8:01 am #69888
    joshua
    Participant

    Hey brother I completely understand the situation that you have been going through. I have and am going through the same exact situation, except I have a daughter I can’t see her and spend time with her because of situations I put myself in. And like you when I’m down on myself i end up punishing myself. I was so down I was in a super self destructive mode. I didn’t care. I escaped with drugs and super over indulged in anything that would give me pleasure. I’m 30 now and this spiral started at 26 27. I was in my own personal hell. Being through hell and back has gave me deep scars but now the only thing that comes from those scars is love. I have always believed we as humanity has always been here for the wrong reason. We are so caught up in ourselves as with possessions and careers and having the best of the best. We miss the things that makes us humans. Once we can get passed the woe is me part of it and try to live outside ourselves, we can get to see the purpose of why we are here. What I tend to feel is for each other. Love ourselves and loves those who can’t love themselves. I don’t want to preach or tell you anything. I just wanna say you are loved and I’m glad you are finding answers for yourself. What works for you. You are not alone in this fight of self exploration. I wish you the best of luck my friend and I hope you can feel whole again soon. Before I go though. I want you to never forget this. Everything you will ever need you already have, it’s all within you. You are the answer. Best of wishes

    January 1, 2015 at 7:20 pm #70110
    luis gonzalez
    Participant

    hi there, im sorry it took so long for me to answer but i was having thos very down days.

    Thank you very much for your kind words, it helps to know that like me there are many others trying to find themselves, even though most of the time one can feel very alone in this journey, thats the main reasons i decided to write this post, so i thank you again for taking your time.
    i must confess those last lines hit me very close to home, because i’ve heard that, read that, but is like i can’t hear nothing, i’m blind and that is why i get so frustrated and desperate, because i’m lost with no compass and no guide, and it is very scary and depressing, and i am trying lots of things, exsercise, visualization, meditation, EFT, hoponopono, and well still trying, trying not to kick me so hard and trying to get back on track for this new year, baby steps perhaps.

    thank you again, and if you ever feel like talking im all eyes hehe

    January 1, 2015 at 9:54 pm #70112
    Adam
    Participant

    Hey Luis,
    You said, ‘The thing with my darkness is that it seems that i have to put myself down as much as possible.’ and you need to understand that in order for negativity to spread deeper into our lives and strengthen, we must give it the power to do so. Putting yourself down is fuel for negativity and it thrives when you lose hope. Realize the reality of that. Your thoughts are what make up your reality.

    Also, what we put out into the world is what we get back in return. If you want something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before. “Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.” You’re young and have the opportunity to expand your knowledge in any direction you wish, why allow yourself to keep choosing a path that has serves no positive purpose? “Even death is not to be feared from the one who chooses to live wisely.”

    Understand where you are and accept your place in this moment. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Fight your negativity with positivity. If you hate your job, focus on the reasons worth doing it. If you don’t like yourself, focus on the reasons you better yourself. There is light everywhere but sometimes we are in the dark for so long that we forget what light looks like. Find your light and shine it in every direction, my friend.

    Good luck and stay positive!

    thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog. If this helped, check it out and maybe it will serve you.

    January 1, 2015 at 11:59 pm #70114
    Karen
    Participant

    HI Luis,
    I remember many years ago I was feeling very down. I was sitting on my back door step looking out into my garden, and I had one of those light bulb moments. I thought, here I am sitting here, feeling down, thinking about all the bad things in my life that I’m not happy about. I thought, I can choose, right now, to just not be this way anymore. I can choose, right now, to think more often about happier things, and not concentrate on the bad things. I can choose, right this moment, to make today different for myself….and so I did. I chose to do it in a different way firstly by not dwelling on the things that made me feel sad and bad. I learnt that helping other people in different little ways gave me a really good boost too. I took the word “should” out of my vocabulary (coz it made me feel bad) and inserted the words “I’d like to” instead……I “should” have done whatever, changes to “I’d like to” have done whatever. So changing the words helped me to feel not so bad about myself. Start taking notice of those inner tape recordings and replace the negative ones with something that doesn’t make you feel so bad. I found that once I started working on myself, and started to like myself more, other people liked me more too. So my advice to you would be to get your inner self sorted first, and then the good stuff will automatically follow. And don’t forget, when you are down in the dumps, that can be a normal thing, it can happen to all of us, and it is usually only temporary. If it goes on for longer than 3-4 weeks talk to your therapist and discuss some more ways to get out of the negative mental loop. (It can often be as simple as retraining your brain.) Good Luck Luis.

    January 9, 2015 at 5:38 pm #70964
    joshua
    Participant

    Thanks for the replying back. It’s good to hear that you are well. One thing life has taught me is to always pay it forward. I’ve had a lot of people who have helped me in the past. So if I can help out someone who is hurting also I will do what I can to try to help that person. But you are not blind or anything. That light will turn on, right now you are doing all the leg work. You are screwing that light bulb in. Before you know it, the light will turn on by its self. Stay strong stay smart. Live for the moment, live love and fight. Find your passions and fucking love them, fight to find Em and fight to keep Em. Always look up and always look inside. Everything happens for a reason brother. What is happening to you right now is for a reason. Never forget that. But most importantly never forget who you are. You will have a bright future brother, rise above the ashes to become who you truly meant to be. And before I go. For me as a person the only thing that ever made since in my life is to lose myself and to fight. Never stop brother.

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