Join the club sister!

Break up! Btw, this is not coming from a broken heart. This guy though fought for you but didn’t eventually commit. If you’re one of those people who don’t succumb to societal pressure then stay with him, back him up! If not, parting ways is the only solution. I know it’s hard, I’m going through the same thing and my boyfriend didn’t even fight for me. You can read my post. You’re 28 and according to Indian parents should’ve already been married now with 2 kids! You can’t wait forever for him to commit.  You said you wouldn’t want to get married to him in these circumstances. Unhappy in-laws would lead to your unhappy married lives! And what I’m getting from your post is these parents are not the ones who’d give up. It’s not happening! They don’t care whether their son is happy now, all they care about the power!

Hi PS,

While I respect the previous advice to break-up, I would suggest you to go and meet their parents with family once. Strategic attempt 🙂

A lot of times that will kind of ease out things, and when you meet tell them that you came casually and not necessarily pushing for a marriage, if they do not like you and you do not like hurting elders.

Most caste issues are only with middle class and upper middle class, the lower and higher classes do not care as long as the economics match with the 2 families !

There is a 50-50 chance that it will be favorable. It is a psychology that sometimes when you meet people and their families the other side has a chance to believe that you are not trying to “steal” their son but rather it is a mutual compromise.

Have the guts to take that risk. While you meet tell upfront that it is a customary meeting to apologize for the confusions that the affair created and you do not want to pursue it at the cost of hurting elders (this is a trick)

After you break up ask the guy to say he does not want marriage and let it go like this for up to 1 year. Parents will start realizing that you are not a bad deal and start giving up.

This caste bullshit, like I said, is only with middle and upper middle classes. Lower and Upper classes do not care. Unfortunately, India is made of 75-80% of them.

If they are rude, hostile or unwelcoming of the attempt to meet or you guys visiting them, and/or stubborn even after 1 year, and the guy is unwilling to hurt the family’s sentiments, then you have no choice other than to move on.

Good Luck!