I’m so sorry you’re in such pain. You can love a lifetime in a month with the right person. What you had must’ve been very special.

This is too familiar…this literally JUST happened to me, too. The difference is that I’m 31, divorced with kids and I should know better. It’s true, that you can believe that you found your soulmate in 30 days. It was 30 days for me, too. And yes, the more I tried to hold on the more he pulled away. In fact, I knew that I was doing it, but I did it anyway because, well, when you geniunely think you found someone who understands you, for some reason you think it’s okay to keep pushing.

I’m trying to remember what it was like before I met him as well. I was happy believing that he didn’t exist and that in some way shape or form I’d have to settle on less than perfect. But we were perfect…perfect, perfect, perfect. The problem that made it NOT perfect was he had issues that prevented him from trusting anything, or wanting anything. There is nothing I or you can do about the other person’s emotional, physical, or mental position. It’s important to know that it’s also perfectly okay to love someone without ever seeing them, talking to them, or being with them. Love is supposed to be a verb, not just a feeling. You don’t have to stop loving them, you just do it in more of a spiritual, universal way, by “sending them” well wishes each day in your thoughts. That’s what love really is anyway. Doing or wishing what is best for that person, not what is best for yourself.

Allow yourself to be sad, to play the same song over and over again, or lay in bed and cry about it, or hate him for tainting your naivity that no such perfection existed. Because ignorance is truly bliss. However, I agree with alice, about finding your self again. For me I just decided to first, cry until I couldn’t cry anymore, wake up and make a conscious effort to get over it. I found peace in the situation by mentally blessing him each day. For example, I would just say, while putting on make up in the morning, I hope you enjoy your new job and it brings you great happiness…or May you find peace in your difficult time with your boss today…or other things that I knew he was going through but wasn’t welcome to help with anymore.

Eventually you run out of things about their life to wish for them, and you become less invested in that person’s well being, and it gets easier. But start there. Start by loving them, internally. It will bring you so much peace to begin each day by spiritually sending out your wishes for that person.