Would you be suspicious if if were you?

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This topic has 21 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 10 months ago by Nina Sakura.

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June 10, 2016 at 10:22 am #106859

Anonymous
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Dear confusedandsuspicious:

I am sick and will be back to the computer today or in the next few days to read your part of the latest post directed to me. Will respond then. Take care!

anita

June 10, 2016 at 11:42 am #106865

confusedandsuspicious
Participant

Dear Anita,
Thanks for taking the time to explain a delay in your reply.
I hope your flu stays light and your body fights it off quickly but please don’t feel you have to rush, your health is very important and your body needs to rest.
Best wishes:)

June 10, 2016 at 4:07 pm #106875

Anonymous
Guest

Dear confusedandsuspicious:

I am surprised your psychiatrist said your P may be having an affair when in your earliest post you wrote that she thinks he is true to you…? But she can’t know anyway. And obsessed you are, confused, suspicious and obsessed. Any calming technique can help calm that going round-and-round with the same thought and checking: thinking and checking are two of the hallmarks of OCD. Checking his activities is a form of compulsion that follows the obsession (OCD after all stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). You may want to visit a forum on OCD?

anita

June 10, 2016 at 11:26 pm #106910
confusedandsuspicious
Participant
Hi Anita,
My posts are over long (in the 7th June) I said ‘My partner and I were than refereed to marriage guidance (I was given the option on if I wanted to bring my P along to talk to her but she said she would prefer that we start fresh with someone else in case of bias)’

And I agree with you that I am ‘confusedandsuspicious’ and yes I also said I’m verging on OCD – not only am I confused and suspicious I’m in a lot of pain and heartache because I can’t trust my partner who I love very much.

I’ve pressed edit because I ended this post with ‘love very much’ and didn’t finish off properly, with a thanks etc.
But Anita usually I find you post are more helpful and I was really hoping for something more. My writing is long and boring, but I’m still hurting just as much Sh**&^ maybe I should just have an affair too, than I can write in about that… On the day my P had a very quiet day ‘Find my Phone’ showed up for most of the day at that different address, during the times I know my P had no meeting he was there but not others – it may be all coincidence! that is why I am ‘confusedandsuspicious’
Thanks
Best regards
- This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by confusedandsuspicious.
June 11, 2016 at 12:18 am #106913

confusedandsuspicious
Participant

My above post is snappish, I apologize Anita.
Just to clarify I went alone to my psychiatrist (she has never met my P) she referred me (us) to a marriage guidance officer.
She brought up marriage guidance during my first session with her, I think perhaps because I was fighting for my P’s side of things just as much as mine. I came to her asking to help ‘with conflicting thoughts on what is true’ (which is only getting worst because of ‘find my phone’)
Thanks very much
I hope your flu is better.

June 11, 2016 at 12:18 am #106914

Nina Sakura
Participant

Dear confusedandsuspicious,

If you want peace of mind, don’t find fault with others but find fault rather with yourself. Learn to make the whole world your own. No one is a stranger my dear, the whole world is your own”

Love is a potent factor in smoothening human relationships. Love allows growth and does not judge on strays incidents. Love is the first step to overcome fault finding.

Your mind is restless right now. Some things in your past are still picking you, some aspects of your life feel dull – introspection would help you identify what is missing.

Ask yourself if you truly love your husband and have faith in him. If both aren’t there in a relationship, it will break down. You will have to manage these tendencies in your thoughts to suspect him – when you feel suspicious, ask yourself these questions –

Does P love me?
Does he care for the kids?
Has he ever harmed me?
Has he ever intentionally hurt me?
Is my relationship with P like that with my parents?

We may go to docters, people for guidance but ultimately we have all the answers within us and the power to find peace. It’s a matter of reconnecting truly with love and not suspicion.
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