fbpx
Menu

would love some words of wisdom for a sad love

Home→Forums→Relationships→would love some words of wisdom for a sad love

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • December 8, 2014 at 11:21 am #68918
    rachel
    Participant

    Ov,
    I think most people have been in a similar relationship to yours– I certainly know I have. There are some words and feelings I tuned into when reading this, like when you had stated that when he proposed the idea of being in a relationship and you felt panicked. I always think our mind tells us something that translates physically like panic. Pay attention, tune into your body and to the best of your ability try to understand why you are feeling what you’re feeling.
    I can’t even imagine what he was going through having someone close to him pass. That is always an interesting experience to go through, especially when you’re actively aware what the end result will be. I can imagine what you went through and that is probably what added to the up’s and down’s in this relationship. I learned early on in my life that hot and cold relationships don’t work out. Given the circumstances, there were barriers that may have held you back from having a real relationship. If you truly think that this will go somewhere, do it. Otherwise, I would explain to him, ‘As we’re doing well and moving forward, I just need to check in with myself and make sure this is something I want to do. It is a big decision I want to make wholeheartedly after all we’ve been through’. See how you feel, listen to your body: your answer will be there.
    I’m a big beliver that if something happens, it happens with ease.

    December 8, 2014 at 2:32 pm #68928
    ov
    Participant

    Thank you for your answer Rach. I listen a lot to myself, more so lately than ever. Its making sense of it thats hard. I know deep down the feelings with this man are quite fraught with anxiety because of all the past history. A big problem lies in our communication with each other being difficult. I think we were rarely honest with each other about how the other feels, something im trying to correct. Theres a lot of correcting to do, trying to undo the pattern of interaction that has been the norm for us and make things more honest and more secure with him. I know i love him, im not sure he feels the same about me but i know he cares a lot. Your very right that things happen with ease, and ive always thought that too, if its meant to be it should be natural. Deep down i know the truth, its difficult when you want something very badly , you end up ignoring the warning signs. we re not exactly set up for the best future, but i do want to try. I cant seem to figure out being honest with myself that we re not going make it as were not right for each other and having a self fulfilling prophecy that we wont work due to my own insecurities. Thank you for giving me something to think about.

    December 10, 2014 at 12:28 am #69029
    xWhy
    Participant

    Dear OV,
    I’m distraught that you called the relationship abusive because this guy was pulling away while slowly losing someone he loved. Through this entire post, you said nothing about his feelings, only yours in relation to his behavior. This means that the relationship that you may eventually have with this man will be completely dependent on how you “feel” and not about the two of you. This means that at this time you are unable to give to a relationship in the amount that is necessary in choosing to love. Take some time, work with the therapist. Right now you are too selfish for a relationship, but when you are truly strong that will fade and live will boom in your life. Good luck!

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.