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Working with sister, holidays and wanting to transfer

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • May 26, 2015 at 9:03 am #77288
    lexy99
    Participant

    This is a bit of a rant but also need some advice. So me and my sister both work for a coffee shop chain in the same store as team leaders. Apart from us there is another team leader and one assistant manager and between the 4 of us we open and close the shop 7 days a week. Our manager refuses to do it. He has just told us that no two of any 4 of us can have holiday at the same time – obviously a problem for me and my sister for holidays and what about family occasions or (god forbid) a funeral? There are also other problems with him that are driving both of us away.

    Luckily there has been a new store opened not far away and very busy. I know they dont have any vacancies at the moment but im thinking of talking to the manager (my old manager, get on very well with) and asking her to let me know when she has space. Not to toot my own horn but as an experienced staff member she would be happy to have me if she had the room. My sister wants to do the same so we both might be denied the transfer in interest of staffing at the old store. And what if just me gets approved and I have to leave her there or visa versa? Our mum has said we cant just run away every time a bad manager comes along but this is now going to affect both our work/life balances. Coupled with the fact that low sales means our hours have been cut and I’d like more. Unless things improve I will really want to go and I know she will too.

    The uncertainty of it all is the underlying cause of stress for both of us at the moment. And if both of us cant transfer it will be however long until we can get time off together or one of us leaves. I will also feel bad for the other two key holders there but if my sister goes first I will still want to transfer later so major guilt over everything!!

    May 26, 2015 at 10:08 am #77307
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear lexy:
    What is your question or what specifically do you need advice for? You called your post a rant maybe because you are stressed, distressed. SO my advice would be at this point to CALM down. Your thinking is not clear when you are distressed. Reducing your distress, be it via deep breathing or distraction/ time out from the situation, meditation, any effective way to calm yourself down would be a step in the right direction: clear thinking.

    Take Care:
    anita

    May 26, 2015 at 12:04 pm #77316
    lexy99
    Participant

    Thanks, i know that i panic and over-react when things like this happen. Im trying to think clearly and have written a set of ideas/plan.

    The first being to discuss with this my manager and failing that HR to see what the situation is as this strongly affects both our family lives now, doesnt even allow for one in fact, and would not be acceptable to me. If they say that that’s that then i will have to start thinking about my options.

    In the meantime I will talk to my other manager to see if she has any hours available and to let us know when. Maybe i could do some trial hours as well.

    I know i panic when these things happen but if this is the situation from now then working wth this guy isnt going to work out for me and i need to do something about it

    May 27, 2015 at 7:42 am #77359
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear lexy:
    I panic too. I tend to escalate everything into a fear reaction. I am dealing with it this very morning. I don’t like it but I have to deal with it. Can’t order a new fear-free brain online. One way of dealing with the fear reaction for me is instead of thinking of the WHOLE day in front of me and what will I do the whole day, I think or try to think only of the next hour, the next thing to do. Also, I am learning more and more to pay attention to when I am afraid, be mindful, something I did not do or know about before. When I notice the sensation of fear I talk to myself… etc. Hard work and lots more practice is required. When I think too much, obsess- I say to myself- all this thinking is NOT effective and I try to observe it (from the observer part of me) and let it go, think about it later from a state of calm- the only way to think effectively. This rumination/ obsessive thinking is a pain, isn’t it?

    Hope you solve your work problem. You wrote that you write things down… I am sure you are intelligent enough to solve most if not all of these problems once you get to the calm place to allow your intelligence to do its best job. So the real problem is the panic thing, the fear reaction, isn’t it? And the real solution then is practicing calm, patiently, repeatedly in a way that works for you- finding the way that works best for you???

    Take care:
    anita

    May 28, 2015 at 12:56 am #77407
    lexy99
    Participant

    Hi, thanks I do need to get better at that. Just yesterday someone rang from a guy at work from another’s company’s human resources and I immediately panicked thinking he’d got an interview or something, but they were just phoning for a reference. I jump to the worst conclusion all the time because I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle things if the worst thing did happen and it would also stop me from being able to go in the direction I want.

    Ie. if someone left and I then requested a store transfer I would probably be denied it because of staffing issues.

    I’ve written to my hr to see what the situation is with the holidays and if the answer is no sorry then at least I know what my options are. Then comes the guilt if I do decide to transfer

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