Hello Peony,

The loss of your pet and a divorce are in and of themselves difficult to deal with.  You are dealing with both at the same time.

Your anxiety around your job situation is understandable, given the changes in your personal life and I can see how this would cause you to question whether your job situation is a good idea.

I will also add, you and only you can make the decision, regardless of what someone else (your sister, for example) says or thinks about it.  Because for every person who will say “why would you do such a thing,” there are other people who will say “you are so lucky to have this opportunity!”

You ask…

“Is the timing right?” – will the timing be any better in a month, or a year, or 10?

“What do I do with my house?” – Rent it out, ask someone to check on it, sell it…there are options, just figure out which one will work best for you.

Will I be lonely? – probably…aren’t we all lonely at some point in our lives?  Also, being lonely is no different here or there.

Is this crazy? – what does that matter?  If it works for you, it doesn’t matter if it’s crazy or not.

Should I sit with the grief longer? – the grief will go with you.  You can sit with it here, or overseas.  Personally, I’d rather sit with it overseas.

Is this a rash decision? – See the answer to “is this crazy.”

Can I do this all by myself? – You won’t know until you do it.  And if you find out you can’t do it by yourself, then you will have your answer.  I think there is a difference between being able to do something and wanting to do it.  You may have all the ability in the world, but if your mindset is working against doing any of it, that is more of a problem than having the capability to do it.

Any big change and/or decision will cause some amount of questioning, anxiety, nervousness.  Let’s say you do this and it turns out to be horrible and awful.  You can always change your route…meaning, you can go back to your house (if you keep it), you can find another job.

When all is said and done, you may say “I wish I never would have done this!”  But you will have learned things about yourself, and you will have grown as a person.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all.

Airene

Dear Peony:

A once in a lifetime opportunity, you wrote.

I was wondering why or what was behind your sister’s comment (“my sister asked why I would do such a thing”), if you asked her what she meant, if she told you and what was your response…?

anita

Dear Poeny:

Your sister’s running-away comment, what did she base it on, do you think? Did she observe a running away pattern in your behavior (your adherence to marriage counseling for one was not a running away but the opposite)- or was her comment her effort to keep you close to her regardless of what is right for you to do?

anita

Dear Peony:

You are welcome and thank you for your kind words. You are so very gracious, with me and with other members, consistently through your threads.

At first, I thought maybe you should stay where you are and not leave for this opportunity because you wrote, in your original post that you have “lots of friends/family/neighbors being there for me, which has been wonderful”, and later you wrote that you are afraid to be lonely overseas.

At least in regard to your sister, doesn’t read to me that she is there for you. I don’t know about the others, how much of a social support you do have where you are.

The overseas lifetime opportunity reads to me like a good idea for you, exciting. Something to run toward. When we do run, it can be toward something, that is a good kind of running.

anita

Dear Peony:

You are welcome and thank you. Hope to read more from you, anytime, curious as to your choice on the matter.

anita