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Words are not enough!!

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • July 4, 2015 at 11:11 am #79193
    mindful
    Participant

    Hello everyone,

    I am clueless and ever wondering!I’ve been single since 8 years, living with parents at the age of 32,no friends practically,stuck in a job where I’ve literally nobody to talk to as all my friends on the workplace have left for various reasons I am the only person left from my group of friends,besides I’ve been thinking deeply for sometime now whether this is what I love to do or I need a complete shift in my career goals.I am missing sex each and every moment as 8 years is a very long time.
    I am not a loner not a single bit but I’ve no option except to be one. My mind is a complete mess. I am dreaming about my future partner all the time. My parents are desperately looking for a match for me for quite a sometime now. Why its not working is a different story altogether. I’ve been meeting with guys for matrimonial purpose.but I am sick and tired of the whole process.
    I still have to find where my passion lies.I am not able to understand why I ended up like this in life.I was pretty smart and good looking girl with dreamy eyes.I am totally lost and messed up.I know I need to change the things drastically but not been able to understand how,what,where!!
    Please advice

    July 9, 2015 at 12:19 am #79559
    jj2013
    Participant

    Hi Mindful, I say change your life completely. Get a new job, move out, join a fitness gym, sign up for a cooking class, be a part of a book club, meet new friend like this… go out a bit, live your life. The guy will come along when it’s time but first you need to be happy with yourself, when a man sees you are happy, he will want to be there with you by your side. All the best and good luck! 🙂

    July 9, 2015 at 7:36 am #79569
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mindful
    So, you are saying that you really want a relationship with a man, that you very much miss teh physical intimacy and long for it every moment, then you do not have friends, not at work, you feel badly for living with your parents at 32, think you might need to change jobs and you are lost, overwhelmed.

    This is a tough place to be in. It reminds me a parable I heard and I don’t remember the exact words- someone was in a jail cell and the question was: how do I become FREE? The answer was: stop wanting to get out (of the jail cell).

    The parable stuck in my mind. I am in a similar situation at times, meaning, I want to do something different than I am doing. I have this TIME and I am missing something. I don’t know what that something is. What I am trying to do is not get overwhelmed or “crazy” with: Oh, I NEED to do something and NOW or else I will go crazy and: oh, how miserable I am, i must be depressed, maybe I should go on some medication…

    Instead I BREATHE and keep my brain calm, as calm as I can keep it. “This is it,” I say to myself. “This is my situation.” I relax into it, accept it, that is without judging it, without catastrophizing it, without making it more or other than it really is.

    Any constructive thoughts about the “how, what and where” you are looking for will come only from that calm, accepting place anyway, so there is only benefit and no disadvantage to accepting it, relaxing into what is, as it is now.

    anita

    July 11, 2015 at 11:41 pm #79665
    TriangleSun
    Participant

    I agree with Anita. Being with someone is great, but what’s more important is finding peace and happiness within yourself instead of looking for it in someone else. I can tell you right now that while it will bring your sex life back, it won’t bring happiness in the long-term. Forcing yourself to date is just a bad idea and almost never works. Focus on other aspects of life that need attention.

    I’ve been in a similar situation. Start by improving your surroundings. It doesn’t sound like you’re happy with your job or coworkers. Start here and make a change. Once you get security in your career, then move out of your parents’ nest and live an independent life. Making small life changes like this can really get you hooked. You’ll feel so good about yourself that you’re going to want to keep going. Your mind will be focused on the present needs and somewhere in all of this crazy new mess you might even bump into a great guy without ever expecting it!

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