Hi im writing this to somehow make sense of my life. As much as i’d apreciate any and all advice in some ways just typing this topic is cathartic. My question deals with matters of the heart. I’ve recently turned 21 this past summer on 6/11/13 and subsequently met this great guy cute and funny we had a uncanny amount of common interests and likes. Sp ,What could be better, he is also 27 divorced a year ago and has been in a series of short lived relationships within that year, 1 of which before he was even legally seperated or divorced. Meeting this man was still incredible i had grown up a very overweight kid and had recently lost about 60 pounds, i made myself over and I finally felt confident, i was getting a lot of attention and for once in my life i felt like me. When he started talking to me i was on cloud nine he lavished me with compliments and would always tell me how beautiful, i was and how awesome i was his words, he made a point of pointing out anything we had in common in conversation. I always had this nagging feeling though that it was too good to be true. Within a week of knowing me he wanted to buy me flowers he constantly messaged me or wanted me to call him. He told me about his plans to save for a bigger home how he wanted to get married next year. I started to feel afraid i thought his feelings were so intense too early on i thought he did’nt know me well enough to share all of this with me. He talked about how he thought my parents would be great in laws, I once told him i enjoyed baking he told me i’d get along really well with his mother she loves baking and could teach me a few things. I could’nt help feeling that he really wanted to be married, which is not to say that i never want to get married but i wasn’t so sure i was ready at 21 and i was also afraid that because he wanted to be married so badly he did’nt really want me or rather he wanted somebody not someone special i kept getting this feeling he was trying to convince me instead just letting a attachment/love grow naturally. My family and friends felt he was too old for me that i didn’t have enough life experience and that i wasn’t ready to be in such a serious relationship. I’d be lieing if i said their opinion didn’t wear me down, I intially told him i needed things to slow down, however i wasn’t sure if he could do that. My parents continued to confront me about him, until eventually just talking to him made me feel guilty. Like i was doing something wrong so i ended up asking him one day do you like me so much because your lonely. To which he replied was defiantly part of it but he also talked about how he thought i was a lot of fun and i always had a smile on my face and the thought of being with me made him happy. I still had this nagging concern that he was romantizing me i don’t know if that was my own insecurity or if that was actually true but i kept feeling like he was still reeling from his divorce and although i knew he had feelings for me and i likewise i felt like maybe both of us needed time me to work on coming into our own me overcoming my own obstacles with weight and anxiety, him becoming happy with himself and instead of looking to a relationship to make him happy. So i thought we’d cool if off for a while abt a year or so and see where we both were and pick back up then. Reading this though i feel stupid like maybe i was just looking for something that wasn’t really their. Anyways within a few weeks of us slowing things down no texting calling but we still hung out and we run in the same circles so we saw each other every week. This past week i see that he has a girlfriend. Ever since i’ve been awash with all these emotions about how stupid i am to let him get away about how i missed my chance. How I missed out on this great guy who would have been perfect for me. I thought by letting things go i was making a wise descion not getting caught up in emotion but now i’d do anything for another chance with him. So My question Wise or Foolish, Mature or Immature, Smart or Dumb? I feel like I missed out on the love of my life…………..I feel like i should have held on talked to him more about how i felt I guess now it doesn’t really matter because its over how do i live with this feeling i still have to see him on a regular basis I just want to be ok.