Amber,

I’m sorry for the blow you’ve taken to your self esteem lately, its odd how insecurities crop back up even after we find our stride. He sounds like a grade-A clinger, and perhaps its good that you stepped away. The age thing isn’t really a thing, but the “fast hard fall” is not a good sign, especially the way you described it.

It probably only seems like such a “once in a lifetime” thing because of your tender and fragile self image. You lost a bunch of weight, and the “unattractive fat-girl” pattern of mind still has some power. Said differently, perhaps because you spent so long feeling icky about yourself, the emerging of good feelings got tied into the man. Especially because he came across so thick and sweet, your hungry confidence grabbed onto it as food. Now that he’s gone, the food is gone.

Give yourself more credit than that. You’ve come a long way, dear sister, and even more than the weight being gone, the confidence and momentum of a healthy life is very alluring to men, and you have plenty of time to find someone who sees and loves you. Even moreso, you have plenty of time to shop around and find out what you like, what makes you happy, what inspires your heart to song. Let your confidence grow, let your self love reach deep into your own heart. That way you wont settle for something less than you deserve. Consider that the guy you broke it off with is perhaps “romance hopping”, which isn’t really love, its entertainment, nourishment. Its not surprising that he jumped to a new girl, a new toy. You deserve waaaay better than that.

With warmth,
Matt