Yes, most definitely. You will heal..you will get over this. Time is the greatest healer. No, I don’t think he is feeling cocky and proud. He probably has alot of worries like we all do. He is not sitting around all day and thinking “ha! I showed her! I’m so great! He has bills to pay, work, and other worries, so don’t worry that he is thinking that about you. You will only make yourself miserable. Think instead of him sitting alone, single, and sad..maybe he is..No one knows what anyone is thinking, but I doubt he is feeling cocky in any sort of way. Just try to replace any negative thoughts with the beautiful memories you shared with him. Not many people get to experience that, fall in love, feel butterflies, etc.

I know it took me a very long time to get over past loves. In the meantime, the book called “How to get over the loss of a love brought me comfort and help”. Just be patient with yourself and the healing process. One day at a time. Then all of a sudden, one day you will wake up, not thinking anymore. It is easy when we just lose someone to be in despair, and think “how will we get over them, and when? But it will happen. Some days, you will take one step forward and two steps back. The next day you may not think about him. The next day you will think of calling him or texting him. But realize these are fleeting thoughts and they will pass. Each day does get better. There is no deadline. Be gentle on yourself, nurture your inner child. Take a nice hot bubble bath, listen to some soothing music, maybe smooth jazz, or uplifting dance music. Go to a comedy club and laugh. Just try to keep busy and gave fun being single, that is the best revenge. x

Mathilde-

I promise you WILL stop thinking about him eventually.  Sometimes we are more in love with the idea of someone than the actual person.  I see a few different issues

1.  You went ALL in before he did.  You fully committed to someone who wasn’t committed to you. I know because I’ve done it myself and not only have I done it…I did it for  2 1/2 years.

2.  Only liking 2-3 people by age 22 is not a problem. Some of us attach differently than others.  One year I went on FORTY (yes 40) dates and didn’t like ONE guy.  You aren’t alone.

3. Attraction for men and women is different and sometimes guys change their minds for reasons unbeknownst to us. Sometimes they are just immature and sometimes they realize you aren’t “The One” for whatever dumb or valid reason and they end it.  Women usually become more attracted over time, but men are the opposite.  So…remember it isn’t about you.

4. I’m not exactly sure what exactly you are missing so much other than the IDEA that perhaps you had met someone you thought could be a potential partner and you’re mourning what you wanted him to be and not what he is.  I know because I’ve done that too.  Sometimes we connect with someone for whatever reason and we think they are a good match but over time things fall apart.

5.  You may in fact have an Anxious Attachment which is why you feel so strongly about missing him.  I am also anxious and felt totally obsessed with the 2 1/2 year avoidant guy I dated so i get it.

My meditation teacher taught me this:  Whenever you think of him or the relationship instead ask yourself

WHO AM I?

WHAT DO I WANT?

WHAT DO I NEED?

Take the focus off of him and put it back on yourself.  It will get better in time. I promise.  I’ve been through it many times myself.