we went out a few times and he’s a sweet and kind guy… but i was a mess back then so i didn’t know what to do with him… i was struggling with myself and i couldnt let anyone in my life.. so i became really cold and shut myself off..i didnt reply his msg and i always came up with an excuse when he asked me out…. finally he sent me an email asking if he did something wrong and i replied that i just needed some space for myself and i appreciated his kindness and affection toward me and let’s stay friend..
anyway, fast forward, now i feel at peace with myself.. is it okay if i approach him after what i put him through.. when we meet at our friend’s wedding, we still talk.. i also feel guilty for treating him so badly when he’s really sweet and nice to me… what do you guys think?
Do you actually like him or do you just feel sorry for him?
If it is the former, sure, if it is the latter, no.
Pity or feelings of obligation / guilt are not the right reasons to start a relationship, at least in my opinion. I would never want a girlfriend with those feelings towards me, no matter how I felt about her in return.
Would you still be attracted if you didn’t feel guilty? Like Matt said you should talk to him, but I also think you should sort out your own feelings first and make sure they are the right ones.
How did he feel your distance, your inner cold, your inner shut outness?
Did he feel the same? Did he experience your emotions?
Is that possible?
You put too much importance on yourself, too much of everything.
He was probably going “meh, no answer, so John want to play some pool”?
Life when taken as a simple glass of water, is just a simple glass of water.
There is nothing more than the moment of refreshment, thanks and you put down the glass and go do something.
We’re all in motion, at all times, like flowing water.
I say rinse twice and go with the flow.
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