Hard day around here as well, brav3. Missing someone that doesn’t deserve me since yesterday… I hve this weird feeling that someday I will wake up by his side and that everything will be alright. Lame but yeah. Just letting you know that this stupid pain comes and goes and I feel like this as well. 🙁

Hello Brav,

I agree that you shouldn’t search for a formula that will make you constantly happy and seeing her won’t hurt you. It is not possible, and when you push it, it’s even less possible. I was like you regarding another issue, not a break up. I tried t ‘fix’ myself. Make myself able to bring my mind to a higher state where I was untouchable by this issue. You can not imagine with the frustration I faced every time the issue returned, just when I thought I am on a good way of healing.
I wrote this in another post,I will repeat it again. Do a little research on the subject of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It has amazing results among people. There is this book, called ‘the Happiness trap’.The biggest lie we are told on this world,is that we are supposed to be happy and ok all the time, and everything else is ‘abnormality and sickness’. Well it’ not the true, we are human beings that get sick, that get hurt, and we are supposed to be this way. How can you be happy when seeing someone you loved with another man? Of course it hurts, you are not a robot! It’s suppose to hurt, and it is just an unpleasant feeling that will pass, like a flu. Nobody likes the flu, but big deal, you know you’ll get better in time, why frustrate over it.
Accept your pain and the best you can do is bring some relief to yourself when it occurs, till it goes away… and it will go away. There are many ways how you can help yourself in these difficult days. Five months is nothing, trust me, it’s still early to filter it out of your system totally. You are experiencing pain,but.. You are not your pain. You are this wonderful human being that will go through happiness, breaks up, new loves,new tears, new reasons to laugh. When it comes to broken hearts (i’ve had mine broken more than once) time is the only and the ultimate healer. Just be patient, and that’s enough. Give your mind some time to process the shock, and to figure out how to move on. Yes, your mind is evolutionary designed for this 🙂

BRAV3,

Hello! You are NOT alone! I am going through a ROUGH break up too! It’s killing me and I feel like you do. I want to be mean and a jerk to him as he has been to me. BUT I believe in GOD and Karma so I will not lower myself. I was doing so good with not responding to his generic texts (which before I would have). So this morning he sent me three texts being mean….something he hasn’t really done before. He actually said “don’t bother to reply, I don’t care that much.” as the last an final text. That hurt even though it shouldn’t. MY friend said he only said that because he is actually hurt that I have been ignoring his texts. But Now I am stressed out again. I added him back in my contacts just so I could block is number again. I am afraid if and what he will send next. I am just confused if he doesn’t give a damn about me (STILL NOC ACTUALL calls just 5 texts messages in three weeks). WHY bother being mean now?? I have to be honest I REALLY wanted to fire back at him and say how can you be upset with me because I pulled a YOU on You?? You frequently ignored me in our relationship so YOU caused me to now ignore you and now you want to ATTACK me for it? Please I don’t want us to be enemies. I just want it to be over amicacably if that’s possible. Should I just keep him blocked and ignore his tirades? Or respond by saying there is no needs to be mean a vicious. Lets just part ways without all the negativity? What do you think? Thanks!

Butterfly

My ex left me for a creep who went out with her once and stalked her from a different city for several years. She complained about him to her friends and told me about him when we started dating. Eventually, after years of ignoring, she started replying to his texts and emails, telling me how funny and innocent he is and this virtually ended up leading to her leaving to be with him. That’s not even the most f-cked up thing that’s happened to me. Yet, this story is so creepy and bizarre that I hesitate to share it with others.

This was almost 2 years ago and while this doesn’t bother me 98% of the time I still think about the great times we had together those remaining 2%. However, I can ultimately say that I do not care what she’s doing or where she is. It just kind of quit hurting one day. I remember it as it was yesterday. I was about 8 months in and doing great for a while but one night I felt like i was at ground zero. I broke down and felt like all this time and effort it took to heal was for nothing. I don’t know if this was my mind just letting out the last few plumes from the exhaust, but next day I didn’t feel a thing and haven’t ever since. It was just like a switch in my brain.

That’s all I can say. You’ll just get to the point where you mind will become numb to anything related to this person. For some folks it takes days. For others – months. But it will happen. Just keep carrying on, loving yourself and staying clear of negative thinking. I also suggested this earlier, but I’d see if it’s possible to find another job. You spend a lot of time at work and if it’s filled with personal drama like this it’s best to look for something else that will relieve you of constant stress. This is the time to learn and be a better you. Start making changes.