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Why don’t my teachers notice me?

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  • September 4, 2018 at 11:37 pm #224357
    Katie
    Participant

    I’m just gonna be honest. I’m the quiet kid, always have been. Always will be. I’m the shyest they come. I’m so awkward and shy. Painfully shy. But I guess I don’t look the part because I dress really nice and take care of myself. So although I’m quiet… I’m not the outcast or the nerd. I’m just quiet. Maybe teachers don’t have a reason to think I stand out. And teachers that I have do notice the quiet kid. However, it’s like only one kid can be labeled “the quiet one” it’s like they are the underdog. Teachers root for the “quiet one” because they see something in them and believe in them. So why don’t teachers ever notice me?! I’m quiet. And I’m sooooo passionate about what I’m studying. In fifth grade all I wanted to do was make my teachers proud. I was the quiet one getting straight F’s turned to straight A’s because I worked my butt off at 11 years old. (Yes I know 5th grade is easy but not for me at the time. It took a lot for me to go from F’s to A’s as an 11 year old within a few month). Yet none of my teachers cared. None. Not one noticed. It’s like the “quiet kid” doesn’t have to say anything. He just has to show what he’s capable of and teachers will say “I believed in that quiet one all along.” For me? No. I go unnoticed. Another time I worked my hardest in school was my junior year. I was studying for SAT’s (I ended up getting a score way higher than I thought possible), was taking the toughest course load I had ever taken, got straight A’s both semesters, was volunteering at 2 nonprofit organizations and one senior living home (was volunteering 14 hours a week… that’s a part time job), I was on speech and debate, I became president of a charity club, and I worked so hard I raised my C in my American history class to an A. Because I worked so hard I studied the textbook like it was the Bible. I had a 76% and ended up with a 93% because I did so well on the tests that I got over 104% every single time. Nobody else had ever done that in that class. Some got maybe 101% 102%. That last thing warranted my teacher to say something to me and show he was very impressed. And he still is my favorite teacher ever. But he just ended up forgetting about me again. Same old same old me I guess. Oh… and I should probably add that during all of this…. I lost 10 pounds (after losing 30 pounds before that year) and my boyfriend cheated on me. That was hard. My first. Oh and I had to make one of the toughest choices of my life during that time but I won’t get into detail. Let’s just say scariest period of maybe life.  Anyway, one of my passions has always been languages. I studied Spanish in high school and loooved it. During junior year, it became my life line and I studied day in and day out. I don’t think anyone else in my class worked as hard as I did. My spanish teacher noticed me (I guess). I got in trouble once (mostly because my teacher was kinda an idiot, it wasn’t my fault seriously at all) and she said to me “I expected more especially from you” I guess that’s some recognition for all my hard work?

    Anyway, now I’m taking persian in college. I’m not saying I’m the hardest worker right now (I’m kinda distracted by other things like my health and making friends and being happy. I don’t want to stress myself out. I’m taking it easy right now) but the class still means a lot to me. My Persian teacher said (to the kid sitting next to me who was super quiet), “you’re quiet. The quiet ones always do the best in my class”
    We were going over homework and the kid answered a question correctly and she said “I knew you would end up being a smart one.” Still I’m like huh. And I’m getting vibes that my persian teacher doesn’t like me. Like seriously what am I doing wrong? Am I just average? Why do I feel like none of my teachers notice my hard work. I’ve only had 3 persian classes and I haven’t really worked hard yet but I feel like my teacher should at least recognize how much I enjoy the class already. And how passionate I am despite how laid back I’ve been. It’s like she doesn’t even notice me… but loves everyone else in the class (only 16 people). Why?

    • This topic was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Katie.
    • This topic was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Katie.
    • This topic was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Katie.
    • This topic was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Katie.
    • This topic was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Katie.
    September 5, 2018 at 7:23 am #224403
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Katie:

    You wrote: “I’m the quiet kid, always have been. Always will be. I’m the shyest they come”.

    April 22 of this year you wrote: “I think I am a very outgoing person naturally.. why am I so shy? Why am I so quiet? Because I know that naturally I am not. For some reason I am very afraid of saying/ doing the wrong things. I am afraid to be myself… when (people) get to know me ..they say I am expressive, loud, funny, etc.”

    A couple of months before the above quote, February 20, you wrote: “My mom then told this one story about how it was my birthday in preschool and I stood up on a chair, then suddenly my teacher yelled at me (in not a nice way my mom recalls) for it and I threw a fit… Then I began thinking about how I remember throwing a fit at almost every single birthday party I had until I got older. The reason I threw a fit was because I felt such anxiety”.

    Little girl Katie in preschool stood up on a chair and was yelled at by her teacher. Her mother was there to witness it and as she witnessed it, she did not stand by her young daughter. Instead, she thought and acted as if it wasn’t a big deal (“My mom says that it wasn’t a big deal”)

    But it was a very big deal for young Katie. You said it yourself: “My mom says that it wasn’t a big deal… But why did I have so much anxiety at every one of my birthday parties? Why did I hate having the attention on me?”

    Because the preschool teacher yelled at you when you did get her attention and your mother, being present, did not comfort you.

    So young Katie figured there is something wrong with her and that she should not get the attention of teachers anymore, so to not draw attention to that which is wrong with her.

    And then, your mother reinforced your belief that there is something wrong with you. February 20 you wrote: “she (your mother) told me that all the teachers thought something was wrong with me. They made my parents have me taken to see a therapist to find out what was wrong”.

    My summary, my thoughts: there was nothing wrong with you in pre-school, there was something wrong with the teacher who yelled at you and there was something wrong with your mother who thought and behaved as if it was not a big deal.

    There was nothing wrong with you throughout school and there is nothing wrong with you now. There has been something wrong with your mother for reinforcing in your brain the false belief that there is something wrong with you.

    You’ve been quiet all along so to hide a wrong that doesn’t exist. As to your current thread, I suppose teachers don’t notice you because you are still hiding. I think it is time for you to figuratively- maybe even literally- stand up on a chair and make yourself noticed.

    anita

     

    September 6, 2018 at 3:21 pm #224543
    Katie
    Participant

    Anita,

    Thank you you know me so well

    September 7, 2018 at 5:04 am #224571
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Katie:

    You are welcome. Post again anytime, here, in a previous thread or in a future thread, your 24th thread, if I counted correctly.

    anita

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