Dear Adam P/ future responders:

I will respond to your post/s when I stop getting them (and this might be the only one, of course). I want to process a group of responses at a later time.

anita

Dear Reader:

More reasons to why people lie:

11. Being kind (?)- telling a person he or she looks nice when you don’t think so, or that the person is intelligent, when you don’t believe it is true… or that the person did the right thing, etc.so that the person will feel good/ will not be hurt.

12. Professional Pride- for those who plan on making a living lying, or already are, there is a certain pride in being “good at it” and successful in fooling people. Since lying in itself is so very easy, it leaves people so inclined, with lots of time and energy to invest in doing a better and better job at it. It really is a science, for those advanced liars (unfortunately, for their victims)- the science of lying.

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Thank you, Adam P. What you mean, I understand, is Competition for Limited Resources from prehistory to present, has been a reason people lie as well as for the purpose of being included and remaining included in the herd, for protective reasons. I agree that when it comes to the number 1 priority for any living thing- to survive, truth as well as any other value is secondary.

Thank you, Harry. What you mean, I understand, is that people lie because they are not comfortable being themselves; they want to be someone else, someone better, someone more. I agree, very much so. When people disapprove of themselves, they want to present to the world someone who they do approve of.

Summary, so far: there are many reasons and motivations for lying for different people. One person can lie at different times for different reasons and motivations.

anita

Dear Reader:

More about reason # 12, above (professional lying, I call it):

Most often, the goal of Professional Lying is financial profit. It is often done online. The liar who makes up an empathy-invoking life situation and asks for money on a single post will have some success if that one post is copied and sent to a large enough number of people, often to their personal emails. Someone (a very small percentage of people receiving the email) will fall for it.

Without massive posting (marketing), the professional liar has to approach the targets (potential victims) more slowly, carefully. The liar will continue telling his/ her alleged empathy-invoking life situation part by part, post by post. Empathetic people will reply, getting emotionally involved with the liar over time through ongoing correspondence. The liar does not ask for money, the targets are not alarmed.

The liar expresses appreciation to the target, for their expressed empathy, for their advice, for their time, letting the target know that (the target) is very helpful, means a lot. The target feels helpful, useful, appreciated, making a difference, doing good, being good.

When the target is hooked, the professional liar strikes. At that time, the target is too involved in the made up story, in the delusion that (the target) is helpful, useful, highly appreciated, doing good in the world. Not wanting to lose these feelings, the target complies and sends the liar the money requested. The liar continues the communication, the target sends more money. The more money sent, the less the target wants to feel he has been victimized. And so, he will send more.

The first strategy, the sending of one post to many thousands of people, will provide some results, one or a few people will send the money (or the details to use so that the liar gets the money). This will happen one time as the victim does not have a relationship with the liar. The second strategy, the ongoing communication online with a few targets will provide one or a couple of targets sending money repeatedly.

Be aware… and wary.

anita

Dear XenopusTex:

On my long walk this afternoon on an inch or two of snow, I thought to myself: I wish XenopusTex would answer my Lying thread, and … lo and behold, you did!

As to your multiple choice question, if you are referring to a significantly overweight woman, then the answer to her question would be A. NO, and it will not be a lie, because it will not be the dress making her obesity evident, it is the obesity itself.

anita

Dear XenopusTex:

Here in Washington State (close to the Canadian border) it is about freezing temperature. The ground is often frozen these days, but it is not as cold as in your neck of the woods. It is Migratory Bird hunting season here and the two birds offered on the Christmas get together I attended last Friday, a duck and a goose, were shot (with a shotgun), cooked, carved and served by the same proud man who hosted the party. (All dark meat, both birds, didn’t see that before).

As to your second paragraph- When Bob claims I-didn’t-do-it in spite of physical evidence, those people believing Bob are emotionally invested in believing him, for their own individual reasons. Let’s say a person was accused of something he didn’t do and suffered for it. That person is carrying anger inside him for having been falsely accused. Then that person watches Bob in the news and identifies with Bob’s looks or mannerism or childhood story, next the person projects himself into Bob and the result: Bob-didn’t-do-it.

Connecting this to Emotional Intelligence (your quest as well as mine), I learned the following equation:

Wise Mind= Rational Mind + Emotional Mind.

People who adhere to a position in spite of physical evidence and/ or with no evidence or logic behind their position, are using Emotional Mind alone. They are motivated to believe X, so they “fix” their thinking to fit X. Their thinking-fixing is often as distorted as can be, but it doesn’t matter when the emotional investment is so intense. For example, the person believing Bob, he is motivated to protest his own innocence projected into Bob, and will use ANY thinking, no matter how distorted.

It is not gullibility alone that causes a particular person to believe the unbelievable; it is the person’s emotional motivation that is the cause. The person has a personal motivation to believe.

Gullibility is a factor too, as people tend to believe what they repeatedly read or hear. If it is stated often enough, people will believe, most often. For a lie to stick, repeat it often enough, with emotion as glue, and it is likely to stick.

Bob’s people and conspiracy-theory people state falsehoods not being aware that they are promoting untruths. Other people state falsehoods knowing these are untruths.

I knew, XenopusTex, that you will encourage me to think further on the topic.

anita

Dear serenity:

Thank you for replying to this old thread of mine.

I suppose when people “were brought up with people constantly lying” they may choose to lie themselves or they may choose to not lie.

There are also all kinds of lying: knowingly lying to others and unknowingly lying to ourselves.

anita