I feel for the past six years of my life I’ve been in a constant lost state in my life and I don’t know how to break this cycle? I have dealt with several personal issues over this time but still feel like I’m still not clear on where I’m going or what I want to do? I dealt with depression and anxiety at 16 which stemmed from several issues in my life such as as my grandma dieing, being emotionally abused cheated on and used by my first boyfriend of 3 years and not being able to deal with school life as of exams, not feeling I had any real friends anymore at school and personal issues at home on and off with my brother being diagnosed with a mental disorder which put a lot of stress on my mum with everything else she had to deal with financially as a single parent and so forth.

Whilst trying to cope wi5h this I attended college for 2 years in a subject which after a year I realised wasn’t what to do but persisted out of not knowing what else to do. I landed a low paid job in that path after gaining some control of my anxiety and depression issues. I stayed in it for a year realising I was miserable and hated everything about it till I realised I needed to find something I was actually passion about.

I decided eventually to go back to college and chose a different path on a course again which was 2 years, again though after a year I realised it wasn’t for me but was thankful to feel somewhat normal at 19 by finally getting control of my anxiety and depression and beginning to socialise and go out with people of a similar age to me. As well as build my confidence through a pub job part time while there.

At that point I had met a lad at a party who I had a brief relationship but realised shortly after we were better of as friends and began seeing someone else slightly before we broke up who was several years older then me and more on the maturity level.

I then again began a different career path taking up a apprentice plodding on with my life again. Enjoying the social interaction I finally had again with going out with people at my new place but not really enjoying what I was doing. This lasted a year the placement but again decided it wasn’t for me…

i have had several jobs since then in similar paths and am still with my partner of two yeas s . I have struggled to find a job doing anything else but feel i still feel as lost as the 16 year old person I was? And that as much as I have grown again and re found my self on a personal level in th sense of combatting my depression anxiety issues that in other ways in life in general i have not found a path or clarity about where I am going? Or what I actually want to do with my life?

thank you for anyone who has been able to carry on reading my ramble. I have used this site for a long time and any advice is greatly appreciated as right now I don’t know who else to ask.