Dear jackiesct:
I didn’t go through your exact situation, but I have gone through fear, which you mentioned. I suppose a lot of people are on that rat race you also mentioned, because of fear, just like you. Looking for that secure job… and all along we, humans, regardless of the job we engage in, the paycheck, even the millions and billions for some (Steve Job, one example)- we are all approaching death- game over.
We only imagine there is a thing like security, but other than having essential food stuff and shelter from the cold, there is no such thing as security.
You asked why you feel stuck- I suppose because of that fear. Learn to live with that fear, learn to calm yourself, reach to others for comfort, and you can move forward regardless of it.
anita