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Why did I meet him right now… Why not a year ago?

Home→Forums→Relationships→Why did I meet him right now… Why not a year ago?

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  • August 18, 2013 at 5:57 am #40686
    Annika
    Member

    So I just met a guy who is pretty much everything I ever wished for.

    The thing is that I´ll move away in a month, he will be in Denmark and I will be in Germany. He knows that I am moving away, and still he wanted to go out on dates with me.
    He told me he really likes me, and wants to meet me again.

    Now I´m so afraid that I´ll just like him more and more. And then, when we´ve been “going out” for about a month, maybe when things are the most romantic and wonderful, I´ll go away and maybe I will not even be able to see him for AT LEAST a month, if not 2 months… Or even longer?

    I am thinking that I maybe should stop seeing him, but it feels so right with him. I want to give us a chance. But what should I do, when I move away?
    What will happen then? I´m so afraid that this will end in a horrible heartbreak.

    Never in my life have I been this afraid of my feelings. Should I stop meeting him now, before it gets out of hand?

    August 18, 2013 at 8:37 am #40692
    Buddhist Wife
    Participant

    Hello Annika,

    I don’t think you can avoid a romantic relationship because it might end in heartbreak. I think if you took that attitude, you would never have another relationship of any kind again.

    I also think it is important not to put too much thought into your relationship at this very very early stage. You say that he is all you have wanted in a man, but you hardly know him as you have known him such a short time. Get to know him better, while you can. It might be you decide you don’t like him after all.

    Perhaps you will decide that you do like him. Yes it will be upsetting when you are in different countries and can’t see him as often as you would like to. Long distance relationships are hard on everyone.

    However if they work, they are worth it.

    Your alternative is not to see him and build up this picture in your head of what your life would have been like if you had. You might be filled with regret if you don’t see where this could lead.

    I wish you happiness.

    August 18, 2013 at 9:04 am #40694
    Matt
    Participant

    Annika,

    Someone once told me that when we are at a crossroad, there is a path of love and a path of fear. If we choose the path of fear, we will have regret and pain. If we choose the path of love, we may have regret, we may have pain, but we might have love.

    Its a little concerning the “fast hard fall”, because often that is from relief at not being alone any more and sexual desire, rather than love. Be kind to yourself, take it slow. If he and you have a mutual interest, perhaps it will sustain for a short term long distance thing. What my heart intuits is you can either give it a shot and take the risk of pain later, or cut the relationship down and experience pain now.

    Either way, consider that love is something we find within and share outward. It isn’t the attraction to an outside being.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    August 18, 2013 at 10:32 am #40698
    maitri2all
    Participant

    Never regret the chance to share time with a person whose qualities and character are of your liking…

    You cannot possess him nor he you

    Be thankful for the opportunity

    Do not overthink the situation…be happy the situation exists…

    Supporting why “The Now” is sooo so very important… Enjow now because everything ends.

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