Dear Jonnym:

Not wanting to miss more stuff I just re-read all your posts on this thread. Being a bit distracted, I will be thinking as I am typing, literally: At the beginning of this five years, or so, relationship, you were the “alpha male” which meant you made mistakes with her as that alpha male. But you worked through it, or so you thought, or so it appeared, but ” in the November of last year she finished it citing my past mistakes and moved out almost immediately.”

That “alpha male” mistakes then came up again, unexpectedly to you, following her later-in-the-relationship psychotherapy. There was some communication after she moved out but even less than that now, and presently any sporadic communication is about the house you bought together.

You both have “high flying jobs”. You are good enough with money and she is not, so the mortgage is on your name. It felt to you like a more equal relationship than any in your past because she too has a high flying job, I suppose.

You focused on the material aspects of the relationship, the purchase and work on the house while she focused on her therapy, perhaps, on the mental aspects of the relationship.

She has contact, or more contact, with her ex husband… but isn’t this because he is the bio father of her children?

In her therapy, maybe she got in touch with how her childhood affected her in her relationships with men and she figured out you are … either like her mother or her father and so, she ended the relationship with you quickly, as if she was ending her childhood troubles once and for all, a quick fix to the overwhelming inner troubles she got in touch with in therapy.

Wow, how did I come up with the above? It is a theory, a possible explanation, nothing more (still, I am sometimes impressed with myself…)

I tend to think that her leaving quickly is because she thought/ felt that her moving out will solve her problems, will simplify her “complicated head” the fastest, faster and easier than any other way.

I am taking a break from my thinking and will be waiting for your input on it, if you will, when you will.

anita

Dear Jonnym:

You also wrote in a previous post that you used to think (still?) that she may be a Borderline Personality Disorder person. Elaborate?

anita

Dear Jonnym:

So you think she left you, moved out impulsively: sure looks like it from where I am. Did you not ask her about her demons? I mean she told you she had demons: didn’t you ask her to tell you about them? About her “complicated head”, complicated with demons, figuratively? And did she answer or otherwise tell you (other than the facts of her childhood that you already shared on this thread in a couple of lines or so)?

anita

U had been an alpha male..as u said.

Lately u started paying a lot of attention to make her happy..make the house look lovely dr her..out of the grown love in u fr her.

Emotionally u feel robbed as u het on her as a stable support and partner…and she left. She had her own reasons..u cant do nethng bout it.

Move on..meet new ppl. Accept she s gone.
Emotionally get stable normal..
She s not lyf. If now u pay attention elsewhr u ll do well.. Lover is the only one side f ur self. Look to grow on other sides.

Financially..deal wid the shit as it has to b done.

My personal view only.