Amber,

In addition to Jade’s amusing and pertinent vending machine analogy, consider that its not that you “couldn’t” love him… you didn’t. That’s fine, enough and more than OK. Both of you deserve to find and connect with a partner that makes your heart and body sing. Its normal to feel some guilt… because you do care about him and his feelings. However, you actually did him a kindness… its better now than later. Let him find someone who looks at him with softer eyes than you did. When you find a man you do love, you won’t have to wonder or try… it will just be there!

All that being said… some of the points you made smell a little like judgment. Smarter, ambitious… its normal to notice differences and want something more similar. Its quite another to think less of someone because of their unique qualities! For instance, with “smart”, there are a lot of different kinds of intelligence. Analytic, social, kinesthetic, and emotional to name a few… and most people have strengths and weaknesses in various areas. For ambition… perhaps he doesn’t have as much ambition in “career”, but it does sound like he had a lot of social ambition (such as the numerous gifts and nice actions toward you). We’re all different, and our own hearts become stronger and warmer when we honor those differences, rather than rank them! 🙂

With warmth,
Matt