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When2Leave vs When2Stay

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  • #45571
    luchin
    Participant

    How long can you stay with your current bf? Do you see a future with your current bf? Well, sometimes we have to be selfish. If you are no longer happy with your current bf and there’s someone who is willing to treat you like a princess, then choose him. It’s your choice if you want to be happy or keep waiting for your bf to do the right move. If you love your ex and you think he can make you a better person, then what are you waiting for?

    #45582
    Smile
    Participant

    I agree. You are so lucky that you have this choice. if there is nothing about the Ex that is making you doubt him..then do it. By the way, why is he your Ex? Why did you break up. Ask yourself that..and is that reason still a reality? x

    #45584
    Chelsea
    Participant

    luchin: Yes, I can see a future with my current boyfriend. He really is my best friend. I’m just worried that’s all he will ever be. We have fun but when it’s rough, it’s rough.
    Smile: I guess isn’t the right name, because we never really claimed ourselves as dating, we just hung out when he was in town. He didn’t want to make himself exclusive to someone to that was 1.) 3 hours away from him and 2.) he was just finishing college and looking for a job, so he also didn’t want to be involved for that reason too. That choice that he made, was around Jan of 2011 and in March of 2011 is when I met my current boyfriend. We have just been talking off/on thru the past 2 1/2 years and recently things have become rough with my current so I’m just wondering if it’s time to move on or keep mending things.

    My mother left me when I was about a year old so I was never really taught all the mommy-daughter things that you learn about love & relationships or had that support when I was in a situation to seek advice or help.

    I really appreciate all the advice guys, Thank you!!

    #45592
    Michele Meckling
    Participant

    anything that breaks you down is unhealthy. Your confusion comes from resisting or wanting to accept reality. I had the same experience with my ex husband who left me for another this spring. some people can’t be what you need, emotionally there for you. It may never change, and if it bothers you to have to ask for emotional support, accept this in yourself, there is nothing wrong with you. Move on.
    The constant criticism will erode your true self, and make you second guess everything. In time you won’t know who you are anymore, or what needs are important to you.
    Constant criticism is a form of abuse. How do you feel when this happens? The emotional neglect you feel now will also not change. You need to accept reality dear. It’s possible he’s just not able to change these things and you don’t need to fix him, or yourself.
    Get some distance and be by yourself awhile. You do not have to run from man to man. and truth is, no one person can make you happy. There is no Mr. right. when you can be happy on your own, you will attract someone who cares for you in the way you need.
    Accept reality that this person is contributing to your experience in life, to teach you what you need in a relationship. Nobody can make you anything for the long term. Eventually real life sets in and who made you happy in the beginning, may not as life unfolds. There are many times when I felt neglected, had i truly seen it for what it was, I could have saved myself a lot of hurt. He told me he can’t change who he is, and it’s true. Relationships are based on emotional connection, and feeling safe with each other. Some people just can’t be there.

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