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When you are the toxic person in the relationship

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  • November 25, 2016 at 1:47 am #121104
    Sally Cinnamon
    Participant

    Feeling confused and hateful towards myself.

    I cheated on my bf about a month ago which i regret immensely, we both had started to get over it and move on with our relationship of 4 nearly 5 years. Then my bf saw that i was looking at the persons instagram, i dont know why i was i guess maybe i was curious but either way i knew it was wrong.

    My bf is completely beside himself and quite rightly. He says he can never trust me again and i dont know what to do.
    All of this comes down to me and how i think its acceptable to treat people.

    The most fucked up thing about it is that i truly love him and want to be with him forever. We have an amazing connection, hes my soul mate. So why do i act this way?

    Its like I have 2 sides of me, nice loving me and horrible bitch me who doesn’t care about anyone.I feel like my insecurities have destroyed me and now I’m hurting the one person I need in my life.

    I honestly think it would be cruel to stay with him when he can do so much better than me.
    I’m in need of an outside opinion.

    November 25, 2016 at 8:18 am #121113
    prerna
    Participant

    Hi Sally,
    My only thought towards this is that what you are feeling is completely natural, What has happened its done now I believe you shouldnt be crying over spilt milk, To err is human !!! Im definately not supportng what you did whether knowingly or unknowingly but dont get consumed by your past. If you are really sure that you love him try talking to him once about it and how you currently feel provided you are sure that he loved you while you were in the relationship. If he really did, forgetting the love of your life isnt that easy, he would try and understand and oblige with your apology and maybe he thinks he has 100 more reasons to give you one more chance against the one reason that you cheated on him.
    If he doesnt then he’s way past it and you should move on too with a lesson and try and fall in love for real this time and focus on the one you love. Such is life and you will get over it soon.

    November 25, 2016 at 8:24 am #121114
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Sally Cinnamon:

    You wrote: ” I have 2 sides of me, nice loving me and horrible b*&^& me who doesn’t care about anyone”-

    Will you elaborate on the second side of you: when did you notice it first, how long ago? Did you have that side when you were a child, and if so, in what circumstances what that side come about?

    anita

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