That seems to make alot of sense, but I don’t feel that it could be all routed to something so simple. I’ve made a new discovery on what he visioned for us as a couple and how reality hasn’t played out that way.

Sso as a young couple when we started dating he always said he wants us to always push each other to grow. He’s big on living life to the fullest and always evolving but what we both got caught up in the chaos of living together and started focusing our attention on the negative and less on ways to grow and motivate each other. We both became emotionally drained because of the arguments. We lost sight of our goal and started focusing on the irrelevant and haven’t moved forward in life. He hates that he doesn’t know how to contribute to my life to help me get closer to my goals and he feels we have been arguing about meaningless stuff which only has made him bitter. He was so busy trying to make me happy he lost sight of his own desires and goals in life. He’s afraid if the relationship is going to steal thag from him again. He said he feels very focused during this break and he has that blood hunger for life again. Since I’ve gotten a wake up call to how who I wanted to be in life and that was a driven and adventurers woman. I am guilty for allowing love to make me lose sense of who I am or what I want out of life. But since we’ve been on this break I see things so much clearer and I have this new drive and motivation to get the old me back and also I see exactly what I did wrong in the relationship. I am comfortable with my self growth now and I am still very in love with my boyfriend, I can obviously not convince him that I have woken up from my sleep in the relationship and would like to prove to him I am motivated to grow with him. Talking about my improvements won’t convince him so I’ve been trying to subtly show him. He probably feels that I’m not the right woman for him due to my lack of self growth but he has still been encouraging me to go to gym with him, he brought me lunch to work the other day and we even went to see a movie earlier in the week. All this has taken place during our “Break” in the rationship. He went away for the weekend and before he left Thursday morning our alarm went off and he snoozed it and brought me closer to him to cuddle, He landed up snoozing his alarm 5 times and continued cuddling me.

So what I’m looking for is advice on how to approach him to actively show I’m wanting to grow with him. He gets uneasy talking about relationship stuff during the break and feel pressuring him about our relationship only drives him further away so naturally just giving him his space and not texting him all day has been much more productive. My more cool neutral responses gives him the space to pursue me instead of me chasing after him to prove I’m in a different mind space.