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When does the false hope fade?

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  • July 21, 2013 at 9:15 am #38991
    Matt
    Participant

    When I said the seed needs rain and water, I meant rain and sun. The rain being self nurturing, such as equanimity meditation, nature walks, hugs from friends and so forth. The sun is concentration, willingness to look at what is sustaining our patterns, insight and so forth. Courage to look, strength to let it go. :). Namaste.

    July 21, 2013 at 8:31 pm #39035
    Sapnap3
    Participant

    Wow once again you have guided me to see within. You are right, every relationship in my life (however painful) has been sustained by me because I would like to be with anyone but me. I have been cruel to myself and now I need to be on a journey to forgive myself. My ex had a profound effect on me because when I met him I thought I was ok being alone. I thought I was finally on my way to accept myself. As we got closer, I started letting me go. I started liking how it felt with him over how it felt without him…alone. This pain and shame in my heart about myself has consumed my being. I took a Hinduism class in school and had a brilliant professor who learned under hindu Brahmins in India. Learning from the old Hindu scripters, I learned that we are the center of our universe. We make everything happen in our life and In this world. My ex use to say those words to me and I thought “wow…finally found someone on the same wave length”. what I failed to ignore is that I was never on that level. (neither was he but who knows). I am starting to meditate now and keeping what you said about the seed and rain and sun…I hope to become the person I was always meant to be. Happy! I should be thankful for the fact that I have been blessed with a curious mind and a compassionate heart.

    Thank you again for your great words. they stay with me whenever I forget how lucky I am to have had this experience.

    July 21, 2013 at 9:26 pm #39036
    Matt
    Participant

    Sapna,

    Its great to hear that things are settling! Sometimes our obstacles are potent, but with a courage to look at them, and as Alanis Morissette said about discernment “hold close and let go and know what to do which.”

    Don’t forget to play, that’s where find our passion. Our inner child is still alive and likes to play, is wiser in its aim, but still full of vibrant joy. Find what brings you passion, and if it helps other people, all the better! If we become too serious, the world looks darker around us because that inner vibrancy is diminished.

    Do you have any hobbies?

    Here’s one of my favorite Zen jokes:

    With the first sip of tea, acceptance.
    With the second sip of tea, awareness.
    With the third sip of tea, a cookie!

    With warmth,
    Matt

    July 22, 2013 at 5:23 am #39050
    Sapnap3
    Participant

    Namaste Matt. Tatvamasi.
    I do have many hobbies. Volunteering is one of them. In my grief one of the best things I have done is sign up for many volunteering events. By far my favorite is the nursing home. There is this feeling of impermanence there that makes me feel sad at first but liberated. My reaction to my breakup has had profound effects on my mother cause before this happened, she thought I was invincible. She is saddened cause she thinks after her no one will look after me. But I have been talking to her in a regular basis to let her know that I have the strength to pull through and be better after this. 🙂 …being a very traditional Indian woman she struggles with my my way attitude but she is doing better than excepted. That’s all we all can do…try to understand one another and be compassionate.

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