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What to do with my life…

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  • #282661
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lloyd:

    You are troubled by famine, the suffering of being hungry and starving. You are not hungry or starving, but you are suffering, you “lost the passion for making music”, you are “consumed by thoughts… feels like everything’s falling apart”, and you are “losing the will to even live at all”.

    You want to help those who are suffering, so why not help one person who is suffering: you?

    What suffering did you experience before thinking about famine, when you were a younger child, maybe still?

    anita

    #283147
    Lloyd
    Participant

    Apologies for the late reply anita, as well as for what I’ve just realised was a very disordered post; it came from a chaotic place! I posted it elsewhere as well and copied the text over to here, which is why there is duplication.

    Thank you kindly for the suggestion. Indeed like everyone I experienced my share of suffering as a child that has followed me like a shadow to this day. I work continuously with myself to get better and tend to my wounds, and have become very aware of the baggage I carry. It is something I tend to every day, and I very much agree with the notion I think you’re implying that one cannot help others effectively without helping themselves.

    But I feel that I already am doing all I can to nurture this self and not judge it. I feel I am at a stage where I could help others in spite of my personal troubles because at least I am not suppressing such troubles.

    I have paid it all more thought and realised I’ve been looking into this famine stuff with an arrogant mindset of “It’s my responsibility to save the world, and I’m going to do it”. I am trying to be more realistic now. Still, the question of how to live as a loving Buddhist in a world so corrupt, so greedy, so angry, so miserable, so unequal, so alienated from what makes it beautiful… I could go on… it is hard to know what to do.

    #283151
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lloyd:

    You suggested: “you’re implying that one cannot help others effectively without helping themselves”- not at all, I wasn’t implying that. I think a person can help others while suffering himself or herself, except in those airplane- like scenarios, having to put the oxygen mask on your face first, then help others with their oxygen masks.

    What I meant was that I read evidence of your suffering, before and after your thinking about famine and world problems. And I think that your well-being is of no lesser value than the well-being of others. Therefore, helping yourself is as valuable, or no less valuable than helping others.

    anita

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